Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Woo, relationship crap!

  1. #1

    Unhappy Woo, relationship crap!

    Or rather, the lack thereof. Considering that my IRL self is not nearly as outgoing as my online self, I find myself in a predicament, if you would care to listen.

    See, I was in a relationship with my friend, Rachel, right? It was a rough time for both of us, and soon the wonderment ended due to some issues on both our parts. Not relationship issues, oh no, personal issues. The idea was for us to take a break, get our heads straight before one of us, or both of us, ended up doing something foolhardy.

    That's a good idea in any relationship. Now, several months have passed and Rachel and I are the closest of friends. The kind of friends that tell each other everything, hang out a whole bunch, bake cookies and do other fun things randomly, just for the sake of doing them together.

    However, a foreseeable issue has come back into play. I find myself still to be in love with Rachel. I cannot seem to get her out of my head, good sir. It's a nice feeling, really, but it comes with its share of problems. And this situation has an even larger problem of its own.

    Over the time of our separation, Rachel entered into a relationship with another friend, Kelsey. She and Kelsey have been together for a little while now, and things are going "Eh" with them. They've been having a little bit of a rocky session as of late, with Rachel hinting at a chance for them to break up.

    Now, break up or not, I need to make a choice. I can't just sit around like a twatwad all day not saying anything, right? I don't want to just let things go by the wayside without making my feelings known. Thing is, I've got no idea how to go about doing that.

    I may be getting some signals, I dunno. Whenever we hang out, there's a lot of touching that goes on. When we go for walks, we hold hands, when we watch a movie, we cuddle together, and sometimes we're spooning, taking naps even!

    And on top of that she, like a friend should be, is very affectionate to me. Though it seems there may be even more to it than she lets on. She seems to enjoy being with me, alone, a lot. Usually she'll hang out with a group of friends, but whenever Rachel invites me over, she invites me over. Occasionally there's someone who tags along, but that is another story.

    She doesn't seem to mind my subtle advances, such as essentially pinning her for say, 10 minutes while we were playing around. Though, I feel like she might be waiting for something. I don't know, my radars are rusty and out of tune, being single for so long.

    On top of that, I think that she may already have an idea that I still like her. Whenever she asks me about relationship whatnot and twattery, I mention a "crush on 4 people, and in love with a special someone." Of course I refuse to tell her outright, but whenever it comes up she always says "Just tell me, what's the worst that could happen?" With emphasis in all the right places that insinuates the girl knows more than she's letting on.

    Course of action, course of action, gotta get back on track... Well, you're the one who just read it, perhaps some counsel and advisory services may be called for? I'm unsure of what to do, getting mixed signals and all. Speak my mind outright, dropping of subtle hints, or simply bottling up my emotions?

    You all carry with you much wisdom, perhaps you could offer some insight into my troubled adolescent life?

  2. #2


    well, i think that if she's going through rocky times with the other person, then i'd outright let her know you'll support her through anything that may happen. I wouldn't outright say that you still love her, not right away, as it could be seen as you trying to force the two apart faster which isn't ever good. xD; umm, I would think just continue being friend for a little longer and keep up all the time you guys spend together, and if it looks like they're definitely going to break up i'd repeat that you'll be there for her no matter what, and you still do love her. x3 i 'unno maybe i'm weird, cuz heck i kinda like someone i think and i won't even admit it to myself, let alone them =p

    *hugs* good luck whatever ya do<3

  3. #3


    I can't advise you as such; there is far more complexity to your relationship than you could express; there may even be more complexity to it than even you imagine.

    I can simply add a possible insight from my own life. Invariably, one person falls out of love before the other; this leads to difficulties. I have been on both sides of the equation. It has been my experience that if the relationship simply can not work, when it has had every opportunity to flourish, both sides being willing to give it their best shot, both willing to adapt, and it still does not work, it is time to call it off: even if this means a separation period: no dating, no sex, no 4 hour phone chats...

    This is a tough thing to endure; especially when a replacement is not on the horizon, and when the other still has either lust or fondness for you. I remember two girls I had to force myself to separate from; both have remained friends... but the period of my getting over them was emotionally horrendous. Both involved breakups and getting back together. We were simply not right for each other. It did not matter that we were both willing and ready: we were not able. It is bad enough when she breaks up with you and rips your heart out; it is almost unendurably painful when it is nobody's fault that the relationship is doomed, and one in effect rips one's own heart out by refusing to be with the person one desires. But for me this was a necessary step to move on with life.

    In your position I would level with her, and explain your feelings, undertaking the risk of losing a friend, temporarily at least, until romantic feelings died down, with a possible successful romance being the upside. But I am not in your position, and you may yet have a successful resolution to the issue that would not be open to me. For instance, she might decide on you after all and her feelings could "catch up" and cast you, together, towards unending bliss. (Yay unending bliss.) You might have a perfectly wonderful permanent romance; you might eventually and simultaneously grow apart, over time, until a breakup becomes an inevitable mutual and happy choice, without excessive pain or longing on either part. Amicable breakups can and do occur. All I can suggest is to weigh your options, and since you know yourself better than anyone here, follow what you think best. I do have a couple of further insights, available on request...

    I suspect you have already made a decision though, and merely seek confirmation you are doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it is not only the case that only you can know this: but it is the case that only you can know the rightness of your decision, whatever it is, by following your heart, testing the waters, as it were, taking the plunge, and sallying forth.
    Last edited by Raccoon; 20-Aug-2009 at 11:16.

Similar Threads

  1. at what point does a relationship become abusive?
    By Talula in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-Apr-2009, 13:49
  2. My insane relationship malarky.
    By Manigeitora in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-Sep-2008, 15:05
  3. My boyfriend's kinky fetish might doom our relationship.
    By Chillhouse in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 13-Jul-2008, 22:50

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.