Ever hear of Oblah? It's the latest and greatest of social networking sites. This is the premise: you chat to anonymous people around the world, mono a mono. You never know who you're going to end up with.
Of course, when I discovered this I just knew I had to test out it's asshole potential. So I played a little game. It's called "Try to get the other person to disconnect from the chat as fast as possible". Sounds like fun, right? You betcha. And I have no moral obligations because I'm completely anonymous.
So I went to Oblah.com and promptly started a conversation with my game in mind.
Okay, okay, not bad for a first time. But I've gotta up the ante if I want to someday become a true internet asshole. I ran through a few prototype conversations. People here sure seemed to ask "ASL" a whole lot...
I may have made him slightly uncomfortable, but the guy didn't disconnect with me. He apparently has something for big gay men. So that's one failure. I decided that to get ahead I would have to create a character. And by "create a character" I of course mean "blatantly rip off of JD Salinger".
It wasn't working, (obviously because my chatting partner was a 43 year old virgin creepshow masquerading as a menstruating teenage girl who wanted to have sex with me), but I rolled with it.
Then we learn at the end that 'she' hates peanutbutter. There's another point for me, but it took too long. I needed something faster.
The ol' Frankie Mcourmet swindle - gets 'em every time. I tried for one more round, but it didn't work as well as I had hoped.
I just couldn't lead this guy on no matter how hard I tried.
Such a nice guy. You don't get many of these guys on the internet.
I wanted to try something completely different. You know those internet bots you can talk to that make no sense? How would a person react if they didn't realize they were talking to one? I used ALICE for mine. I just copied everything they said to Alice, who gave me an answer.
The guy talked to me for like an hour, without realising anything. I decided to end it myself because this guy was out-assholing me.
So then I thought to myself, what could a bot say that would make someone run for the hills with their faces aghast with horror?
And I recieved an answer...