I have yet thank you cards to send out for our wedding presents we got and I have half of it done. I sent a thank you card to my aunt and uncle and I forgot to include my cousin
Well I got a letter in the mail from my aunt saying how disappointed she is in me and hurt for reading how I was shocked when I recieved her wedding present and me saying to my family they may be cheap but they aren't cheap enough to not get us a wedding present.
My aunt and uncle did not come out to family reunions that were out of Wisconsin and they did not come to my cousin's wedding in 2005 and my dad said it's because they're cheap. So I was surprised when I got a wedding gift from them so it was a compliment that they aren't cheap enough to not get us one, even though they couldn't come out to see us get married. I still don't understand how that compliment was hurtful to her or is she just over reacting?
Now I am hoping I didn't say any other hurtful things in my thank you cards when I sent them off thanking them for their money they gave us or gift card or gifts. I think I will have my husband help me when I make the next ones out so he can tell me what not to say so I won't say anything hurtful on accident.
My aunt even had the impression that I said it to make everyone laugh but I did not say it to make people laugh. I can't control what people find funny when I am not trying to be funny. I make people laugh unintentionally. So I wrote her an apology letter and said I was sorry my compliment was hurtful to her and then I tell her my side of the story and I told her I did not say it to make people laugh and I didn't know why they laughed when I said it. My husband said it was because my dad was caught saying a rude thing to me but I don't see how that was rude. Is being cheap a bad thing? I mean traveling is expensive, some people can't afford it, I have not been out to Wisconsin in ten years because I am also cheap. So I like spend an whole hour writing the letter and making sure I didn't say anything hurtful in it and hope I didn't so I wrote I hope I didn't say anything hurtful again in this letter.
Now I feel bad that a compliment hurt her and wish I kept it to myself than telling her about it in my thank you card. If I knew it was going to hurt her and she would take it the wrong way, I wouldn't have said it to her. I also apologized for forgetting to include my cousin. I hope I didn't make that same mistake with the others. I felt better after I wrote the apology letter and put it in the sent box for the mail man to take. I would have called her instead if I knew her number but because I don't, I wrote back to her instead to apologize. I hope I didn't hurt my uncle and cousin too. But I do agree in her letter that sending me a book on manners and proper etiquette would be more suitable as a wedding present than cookbooks and pot holders and spices.
So how is this compliment hurtful, "You may be cheap but you weren't cheap enough to not get us a wedding present" or was my aunt just over reacting? I mean everyone in my family laughed and so did my husband and my aunt is the only one hurt by it. I probably didn't have to write that apology letter but I did because I'm nice and I felt bad she didn't take the compliment well. I always feel bad when I accidently hurt someone, even if I think they are being dramatic or too sensitive. I still apologize for it just to help myself feel better and I think it's the polite thing to do.