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Thread: Very shy introduction

  1. #1

    Red face Very shy introduction


    Im incredibly shy/nervous about posting here. I am not sure if I belong here or not.

    To get the basic stats out of the way for you I am a *(nearly) 25 year old girl from Australia. I am pretty kink aware/open minded etc and I am involved in the BDSM scene. I publicly identify as a sadist/top/Domme. I love this aspect of my life/personality/sexuality and is my primary fetish (for lack of a better term) I have always been curious about AB stuff, but probably not for reasons you might assume.

    Though my fetish is BDSM, I have also had for a very long time an interest/desire to explore the AB in me, but its something very personal and secret to me because it runs completely contrary to the Top/Domme aspect of me. What draws out the AB in me is exactly that contradiction - its an escape from everything, the desire to be comforted/nurtured etc. For me AB is not exactly a sexualized thing.

    I also have borderline personality disorder - this means I have extreme, rapid mood changes that I can not control - frequently anger or sadness, they last for only a few hours or days (unlike bipolar where its weeks/months) These moods are intense and overwhelming. I have a very hard time doing what is called "self soothing" calming myself down etc... Even though I know logically that I am over reacting etc, it doesn't make the feeling go away. The only ways I can achieve this is usually by medication such as Valium or in worse cases self harming. Neither of them are particularly good coping mechanisms.

    As I have been quite unwell lately my BPD is out of control, and these have been happening a lot, and really really strong. I have been trying to come up with ways to "self soothe" when I am in distress... and thinking outside the box I thought about AB and the feelings etc which are attached to that. This weekend I finally caved in and decided to order a Nuk 5 pacifier and bottle teat for myself, they should arrive sometime this week. Im both terrified, and hopeful.

    **blushes and runs away to hide**

    ETA: I am 24, turning 25 in just a few weeks, sorry if I confused anyone by doing so.
    Last edited by CuriousKid; 27-Jul-2009 at 16:16. Reason: Clarification about my age.

  2. #2


    Welcome to ADISC.

    First off: Your ages contradict (25 in the post, 24 in your stats). I strongly suggest you correct/explain this before it gets you banned, because no one wants to see that.

    Secondly, good for you for taking an active interest in your AB feelings. I'm glad that you aren't too afraid (for whatever reason) to delve deeper into this whole scene.

    You don't have to worry about it not being sexual for you. That's how it is for many of us, and it tends to be the difference between an AB and a DL. There's nothing wrong with it.

    I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been well lately, but I congratulate you on being able to think so abstractly. I hope that the idea works as it should, and things get easier to handle.

    If you want to step in slowly, you could read the wiki for a bit, or maybe look for threads to add your input too. We also have an IRC channel that you can join by clicking the "Live Chat" button up toward the top of the screen, if you'd like to try diving in and talking to us a bit more interactively.

    Again, welcome, and I hope you find everything you need here.

    ~ Mesmerale

  3. #3


    Hi and welcome!

    Don't be shy, we don't bite, only nibble gently (I can tell you, peaches get nibbled on all the time! :eek).

    Oh, and you seem excited about your birthday...since (as Mesmerale pointed out) you made yourself a few weeks older than your profile would suggest.


  4. #4


    Im not sure if my profile shows my birthdate or just my age. I am 24, turning 25 mid Aug. No deception intended.

  5. #5


    I figured it would be something like that.

    S'all good. I just figured it'd be best to clear that up quickly, even if it's not exactly my place..

  6. #6


    ooh another aussie finally joins our ranks, weclome to adisc, now the million dollar question running through my mind is which state or territory your in right now.

    as peachy said, we dont bite, althogh I on the other hand chase people around the room with a big stick if they annoy me (jk of course, id NEVER hurt anyone intentionally, also beware my black humour if we coss paths XD. but aside from that let me skipthe wierd, awkward, and downrght violent wecomes i sometimes give and say, welcome, have fun, be nice and well be one BIG happy family

  7. #7

  8. #8


    It always bugs me when people say their age but it turns out they aren't that age but will be in a few months or a few weeks or that week or that month because it feels like a lie because it's misleading. Say "I will be (insert number here) years old this year" so people know you are going to be that age. If your birthday is this month say "I will be (insert number here) this month."

    Yeah some members here bite, I sometimes see asshole behavior here such as accusing people of lying than questioning them first.

    BTW welcome.

  9. #9


    Well... grabbing a diaper and paci/bottle/blankie/plushie is a great way to de-stress... just let your cares drift away. It works pretty well for lots of us.

    Good luck.

  10. #10


    I am sorry you feel that way Calico, however it has already been brought to my attention, explained, rectified and apologized for once I am not sure why you felt it neccicary to do so again. If it makes you feel any better there are 4 weeks, 3 days, and about 7 hours till I turn 25.

    BTW - Thanks.

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