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Thread: I need some motivation -_-

  1. #1

    Unhappy I need some motivation -_-

    Before I start, a quick guide to the education system in England:

    Ages 4/5? to 16: Compulsary education.
    16+: Do whatever you want, but a lot of people go to college to do A-Levels for 2 years, before going to university.

    Anyway. I used to love school when I was younger, always did all my work eeand got really good marks, but when I got to high school (age 11-16) I was in a class away from all of my friends, and since I was both really shy and clever, I obviously got bullied. So I got into the habit of not doing any work, messing about in class, and even not attending a lot of the time, in an attempt to avoid it.

    Fortunately, I still managed to get 8 GCSEs at grade A* - C (you generally need 5 at A* to C to get into college for A-Levels). Unfortunately, I carried this mentality over to college and thus ended up dropping out around Easter time.

    The following year I went for a different course, and lasted about a month because I hated it, so the year after I tried A-Levels again. This time I lasted until Christmas. I just couldn't find the motivation to do any work, or even turn up half of the time. So I pretty much gave up, and started looking for a job. I claimed Jobseeker's Allowance, and after six months of that they send you on courses to help you find a job. Towards the end of this I learnt about a course called Access to Higher Education, which is a course aimed at adults wanting to get into university. It is only a year long, so I decided I wanted to do it.

    So I applied for it to start last January, and I learned that they didn't do the subjects I wanted at that time, so I would have to wait til September or choose other subjects. I really didn't want to do anything other than Biology, Chemistry and Physics (the choice is rather limited - the sciences plus a few fake social sciences) so I decided to do another (easier) course from January to June. And.... I passed it! I did all the work, turned up, and I had a great time.

    Then in September I started the Access course. It was great at first but I soon got back into my old habits -_-. I started to miss lessons, even full weeks at times, and come Christmas I was so far behind I had pretty much given up. I tried to keep going but it just wasn't happening... so I ended up quitting

    Now I want to go back. I NEED to do something with my life and I know that I'm capable of it, I just need to find some motivation from somewhere but I just can't .
    Apologies for the lengthy post. Anyway, my question is, has anybody been in a similar situation and overcome it? And if so, how did you find the motivation?

    I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arlikra View Post
    Apologies for the lengthy post. Anyway, my question is, has anybody been in a similar situation and overcome it? And if so, how did you find the motivation?

    I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job
    My motivation was the dead-end job I was working during the summer. I really realized that working as a dishwasher/server was not what I wanted to do all my life. And a look around my co-workers only made me want to get out of there even more. All of them were going through "drug court" because they'd been caught with drugs, all the women were teenage moms, and my manager was just weird. They were all nice people, it's just that I didn't want to end up like them.

    So I guess what I'm saying is use the thought of that dead end job to kick you in the butt.

  3. #3

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    I had problems in college the first time around, when I was young. I think the cause was depression. They did little for it back then, other than extreme things that no one in their right mind would allow.

    Perhaps you should seek some professional help. A mood enhancer might help if that is the problem. The fact that you are in a repetitive pattern would suggest that you need to change something.

  4. #4

    Default

    Find yourself a job and see what the real world feels like, after that you will be glad to do better.

    After your there a few months and the only thing you have to look forward to is a day off, and another possibly 40 years of doing what your doing you will get your motivation.

    I only did work I enjoyed, never made a ton of money but I never had any intentions of doing so, as long as I was happy that was all that counted for me.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arlikra View Post
    So I applied for it to start last January, and I learned that they didn't do the subjects I wanted at that time, so I would have to wait til September or choose other subjects. I really didn't want to do anything other than Biology, Chemistry and Physics (the choice is rather limited - the sciences plus a few fake social sciences) so I decided to do another (easier) course from January to June. And.... I passed it! I did all the work, turned up, and I had a great time.
    You had me up until this point. It is bad form to look down one's snoot at something in the same breath as bemoaning the fact that one is currently worthless.

    The "fake" sciences could offer a considerable amount of insight.

    Get off your ass or go into skilled labour (or both, if skilled labour is something you want to do). It's a very simple thing, and hopefully today's Britain isn't making this more complex by permitting a third option.

  6. #6
    Darkfinn

    Default

    Having a career instead of a "dead end" job really has little to do with your education in this day and age. It does have a lot to do with drive, ambition, and a lot of luck.

    I'll put our current situation up as an example. I quit college after two years because I could see it was taking me nowhere. I started working in warehouses... worked my arse off... always looking to advance, always looking for the next better thing. I ended up where I am now... making halfway decent wages... working shipping/returns for a wonderful company with nice co-workers and great benefits. On the other hand, LuvsGurl stayed in college and graduated with a 4-year degree... but she can't find a job in her field, so she is stuck with a bunch of student loans working whatever "dead end" job she can find. It majorly sucks... and is a prime example of how the education system does not always work for everyone.

    If you want more money... go out and get it. If you aren't happy where you are at... look for something else.

  7. #7

    Default

    OK well i had a semi-semi-similar situation to this but mine is under different circumstances.

    In my 2nd year of HS. 10th grade. 2004 // I was in an accident, I was on my bike and got hit by a truck. My right leg got really banged up and is still banged up. My original plan after i graduated in 2007 was:

    1. Take a year off from starting college and think about where i wanted to go
    2. Get a job
    3. Save money for college
    4. Next year start college.

    Well 1. happened. But cause of my leg i couldnt hold a job and couldnt save money. My only hope would have been the lawsuit i had against the guy who hit me. So waited. for about anohter year for my case to settle. Well it did and I lost. So I was completely broke and me and my dad owed $2000 in court fees.

    SO now i was really in a situation. I had the ability to do well. i finished HS with a 3.6/4.0 GPA. But money was a problem. and i had been living as a lazy ass around the house all day from June 2007 till Jan 2009. SO i knew i should start college but i didnt really want to. and i was also afrade to. So i came up with a solution.

    A full semister is 4 courses. So i went only part time and took two for the Spring 2009 semister. And I did well. It was kinda hard going back to school. I missed all the free time. but it was something i knew i needed to do. Cause with my leg, i cant get any kind of normal job around here. So if i dont get a degree, then i will probably be on dissability my whole life. and i dont want to live on such a small income and if i get married have to do that to my S.O. and kids. So it gave me a reall kick in the butt to start college and stay in college.

    So my advice for motivation. Think about your future if you continue your education and think about it if dont. Then decide which future you want. Then if you can slowly ease into the education. Take only a few courses at a time. It might take you longer to get a degree but it wont overwhelm you and you will still have free time.


    i wish you luck

  8. #8

    Default

    Thanks for the replies



    Quote Originally Posted by h3g3l View Post
    You had me up until this point. It is bad form to look down one's snoot at something in the same breath as bemoaning the fact that one is currently worthless.

    The "fake" sciences could offer a considerable amount of insight.

    Get off your ass or go into skilled labour (or both, if skilled labour is something you want to do). It's a very simple thing, and hopefully today's Britain isn't making this more complex by permitting a third option.
    Ah, I apologise for that, it was meant in jest (it was also a bit of a joke between the people doing the sciences). I don't look down on it at all, I have a lot of respect for people who do that, since it's far beyond my own capabilities.

    And yes, I should get off my ass and do something instead of whinging about it, but that's always easier said than done. Sorry for offending, thanks for your comments h3g3l



    Quote Originally Posted by Darkfinn View Post
    Having a career instead of a "dead end" job really has little to do with your education in this day and age. It does have a lot to do with drive, ambition, and a lot of luck.

    I'll put our current situation up as an example. I quit college after two years because I could see it was taking me nowhere. I started working in warehouses... worked my arse off... always looking to advance, always looking for the next better thing. I ended up where I am now... making halfway decent wages... working shipping/returns for a wonderful company with nice co-workers and great benefits. On the other hand, LuvsGurl stayed in college and graduated with a 4-year degree... but she can't find a job in her field, so she is stuck with a bunch of student loans working whatever "dead end" job she can find. It majorly sucks... and is a prime example of how the education system does not always work for everyone.

    If you want more money... go out and get it. If you aren't happy where you are at... look for something else.
    I never looked at it like that. I'd like to add that I don't particularly care for money, I just want something that I will enjoy doing ... but I really have no idea what that might be at the moment...

    Congrats on getting where you are today, and I wish LuvsGirl all the best finding a job, I'm sure something will come up. Thanks for the reply



    Quote Originally Posted by Kokuei View Post
    OK well i had a semi-semi-similar situation to this but mine is under different circumstances.

    In my 2nd year of HS. 10th grade. 2004 // I was in an accident, I was on my bike and got hit by a truck. My right leg got really banged up and is still banged up. My original plan after i graduated in 2007 was:

    1. Take a year off from starting college and think about where i wanted to go
    2. Get a job
    3. Save money for college
    4. Next year start college.

    Well 1. happened. But cause of my leg i couldnt hold a job and couldnt save money. My only hope would have been the lawsuit i had against the guy who hit me. So waited. for about anohter year for my case to settle. Well it did and I lost. So I was completely broke and me and my dad owed $2000 in court fees.

    SO now i was really in a situation. I had the ability to do well. i finished HS with a 3.6/4.0 GPA. But money was a problem. and i had been living as a lazy ass around the house all day from June 2007 till Jan 2009. SO i knew i should start college but i didnt really want to. and i was also afrade to. So i came up with a solution.

    A full semister is 4 courses. So i went only part time and took two for the Spring 2009 semister. And I did well. It was kinda hard going back to school. I missed all the free time. but it was something i knew i needed to do. Cause with my leg, i cant get any kind of normal job around here. So if i dont get a degree, then i will probably be on dissability my whole life. and i dont want to live on such a small income and if i get married have to do that to my S.O. and kids. So it gave me a reall kick in the butt to start college and stay in college.

    So my advice for motivation. Think about your future if you continue your education and think about it if dont. Then decide which future you want. Then if you can slowly ease into the education. Take only a few courses at a time. It might take you longer to get a degree but it wont overwhelm you and you will still have free time.

    i wish you luck
    I'm sorry glad you're getting back on track. You put my "problems" into perspective. I wish you the best of luck too

    Thank you for all the replies I'll let you know how things go.

  9. #9

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    Arlikra-

    Thanks to my own lucky circumstances I haven't found myself in a situation comparable to the one you described. I was in school with all my good friends in the same small town until we were 17/18 years old. Then most of us went to the same university, during which time they educated me in the ways of partying. Did a fair amount of that, got average/just above average grades (I was in an easier major), and got a bachelor's degree in four years. Like others here have pointed out, the degree doesn't guarantee a career. I'd have hated to be without it, but I didn't have much luck finding work after school. I didn't look too hard either though, and my degree was in a field without much relevance to anything in the real world.

    I spent a year working in fields, and then in a factory. While in the fields, my lungs gave out and I had to quit for a month--my one taste of complete unemployment. I figured I had enough money to last for the month, so I spent a lot of time working on applications to graduate schools and studying for the GRE (the exam many graduate programs require here--not sure how it's done elsewhere). The lungs healed, applications were sent in, test was taken, and I was able to find work again, this time making gadgets in a factory. It wasn't as bad as the fields, but wasn't fulfilling at all (and didn't pay much).

    Thankfully, I applied to a vast array of schools, and was accepted by my top two choices (in fact, they were the only schools to accept me). I got started at school + a job to cover tuition and associated expenses, and really liked it at first. It was so much better and more fulfilling than crawling around in bean fields, stacking boxes, or making gadgets. It's still better I guess, but since I've lived in relative comfort for a number of years, the contrast isn't as clear, and here I am--no motivation left.

    So, in a sense, I feel like I can identify with you. I'm working toward a career, one that I believe in and all, but I'm no longer chomping at the bit to get to work, am pursuing less extra-curricular work (less? I meant no more, ever.), and am 'not sure what I want to do when I grow up'. Most folks my age are 'grown up' (but I guess most folks aren't AB/DL either ). I find that motivation for me, and I suspect for many others, is tied very closely to expectations for future events. There are a number of ways to frame that, such as reward/reinforcement, efficacy, etc. Take your pick.

    It sounds like you see yourself as competent and intelligent, so that's a good first step. I recommend picking one of the fields you mentioned being interesting to you and jumping in. Take small steps at first--I figure that's more accessible to someone lacking motivation. I know this from experience. I once made a chart mapping out what I needed to do to finish some grad school applications, then called it quits and spent the rest of the day watching old Star Trek re-runs. Before the end of the month, I'd filled that chart up with check marks. Each small action invites more action on your part. And each small success invites more success. I believe these two things fuel 'motivation'.

    In short, just do some stuff--be active for a bit. School(s), jobs, volunteer opportunities? Sets you up for a motivating future. Yikes...wall of text there. That's my two or three cents.

    Best of luck sir.

    Edit: I'll cast my vote for chemistry. Of course, I only know you digitally, but based on what you've shared here, and on your pretty avatar, I see you putting together a successful career built on the foundations of chemistry.

    2nd Edit: I also prescribe bacon and strong coffee, taken liberally each morning.

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