Hi everyone, I'm new to the site, and just thought I'd post to say hello, a bit about myself, and ask some questions! Sorry for the long post, just this is my first time opening up about it all!
I'm 19, but as far back as just early teens, I remember having urges to wear a nappy again. I vaguely remember once when I would have been 10/11, having a teddy bear that I'd dressed in a nappy (my mum was a childminder so had some supplies), and then I tried to fit it on me as well, and it felt good.
I don't think I thought about it again for a few years, but when I was 14/15, it started as a dream, that I was staying over at a friend's house, and he got nappies for us to wear. I remember waking up, and thinking that I'd like that in real life. Ever since then, I've had thse feelings.
I'd spend nights when I was younger on my brother's pc and AOL, looking on the internet to see if there was other people like me, and finding very little. I went through up to GCSEs without really knowing much, and not thinking about it.
Then, once A-Levels began, and I had internet on my own computer, I'd search the internet more about it all, and found that adult nappies existed, and that I might have a nappy fetish. Again, a lot of this time was just surfing the internet, watching videos, and occasionally making a nappy out of a towel to wear to bed.
A few years ago, would have been 17, I found that Attends were giving samples out, and I risked getting one posted to my home. After trying it on, I was in heaven, and wore it to bed. Unfortunately, I'd had a lot to drink before bed, so woke in the middle of the night bursting for a wee, so took the nappy off and peed in it. I then felt so ashamed, that I went months trying not to think about it.
I risked getting another sample sent when feelings came back, but they were the new Attends, and didn't feel like proper nappies. I again felt a load of shame, and within the day they arrived, had chucked them in the bin.
I then started uni, and for the first year, didn't even think about nappies. However, I'm in my second year, and the feelins have all flooded back, worse than ever.
I'll spend nights browsing the internet sites, downloading videos etc, and ocassionally sexually stimulating myself. However, since the Attends, I've not had any contact with nappies. But the feelings won't go away.
So that's my story, the questions are:
Should I try to deny myself these feelings, and go on as if I don't feel that way? Or will they just get worse if I don't indulge? Should I ever tell anyone else about my feelings (family or girlfriend)? Am I a diaper lover or adult baby?
Oh and also, I recently found out about Bambino nappies. If my feelings are normal, should I get a sample delivered to my uni address to try out?
Thanks for reading, I look forward to any comments! And nice to meet you all!