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Thread: My relationship feels like it's fizzling out...

  1. #1

    Default My relationship feels like it's fizzling out...

    I don't know how to say this really...

    I've been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend. We're mostly doing this long distance and things have slowed down recently. Our conversations used to be long and intimate, now they're mostly cursory conversations about random small things that happen in our day.

    I've been finding solace with some online roleplay stuff, but I know that this is a red flag. I know that I'm finding solace in online roleplay because I feel like I'm missing something from my relationship. What I'm missing is intimacy. Not really physical intimacy as much as emotional intimacy. I feel like the incontinence issues that I've been having have been prompting me to put up emotional walls with my boyfriend. I feel like I've been keeping secrets from him and that's what's part of the problem. Our schedules have also been a problem. Because we're so busy, we're kind of just in a haze of just doing our work and not having much left for ourselves and each other.

    I think the ABDL part of me is also causing trouble. I've kept it for so long, but I don't think I can keep it from him for much longer. This is far too long overdue, but I feel like I need to tell him. I'm still so scared of his reaction though.

    I just need some advice on how to navigate this.

  2. #2

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    I know how you feel I got married and moved into my own place when the urge to wear diapers came back at full speed so for about a month I started wearing without her knowing but my mind kept telling me that this wasn't right so I told her I had something to tell her that was embarrassing and hard to talk about her answer was tell me when your ready that one response helped out a lot I told her everything about how diapers make me feel good and help with stress and she was totally ok with it just a lil anoyed that I didn't tell her sooner so anyways when ur on a relationship you shouldn't have to keep secrets and it takes you to the next level in a relationship both of you deserve to be happy and accepting of each other that how a relationship grows best of luck to ya and I hope everything works out for you

  3. #3

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    Since you said you're in a long distance relationship, it sounds like you need to make the time to meet up and have a close, intimate relationship. I also think that when one communicates via writing, you sort of say everything that's happening in your life, and then you've said it all. All that's left are the small, every day to day events to talk about. There just isn't that much that's new. Try to plan a weekend where you can be with each other and I think that will help.

  4. #4

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    Leio,
    I am so sorry to hear that you feel like things aren't working out. I for one know firsthand the toll a long distance relationship can take on both partners in a relationship. You absolutely need to communicate your concerns. I want your relationship to have a happy ever after. When I was in a long distance relationship a few years back, the lack of communication was what put that relationship in the ground. I still wish I could go back and be more open. Don't echo my mistakes. Talk to your boyfriend. Discuss your concerns. Arrange time to spend together if he's not too far away. If you need any other advice, feel free to PM me anytime.
    -fireband

  5. #5

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    I've talked with him for a bit about this kind of stuff...

    He's also acknowledged that there is a widening gulf of communication between us. We've been discussing ways to remedy the situation, but this will be a work in progress.

  6. #6

    Default

    Leio, when it comes to your ABDL side, there's no easy way to do it. Just do as Safariwolf did and tell him when you're ready and when you're comfortable. As cold as this may sound, if he doesn't like that, then he can't truly love you for who you are. As for the roleplay stuff, that could easily derail, so watch out with that. In terms of being faithful to him, I don't know how you see it, and I'm not sure how he'd see it. I don't get anything romantic or sexual from anything ABDL-related, but I know others do, and even if you don't your boyfriend may see something sexual in it, which would make him see you as unfaithful. If he truly loves you, he'll be able to accept it without question. He may not be into taking part, but if he accepts it, that's what matters. If he doesn't take part, your best bet would be to get a therapist that you could talk to about this, and hopefully help you with your relationship in the process. Hope this helps! Good luck Leio! <3

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