Bf incontinence

Status
Not open for further replies.

Redeemz

Contributor
Messages
15
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Incontinent
Hey I have not been like this for very long I am 25 now, and have been incontinent for 2 years but am still ashamed I have been seeing a guy, and I am going over for the night do I wear a nappies so I can sleep or just not sleep we have only been dating a few months I don't think we will get sexual but don't want to tell him yet or be wearing one if he rubs me up while laying down this is a serious question please there was no relation ship tab to post this in
 
A lot of us have been there. The best thing is to be honest. There are ways of dealing with it but if your really interested in somebody you cant avoid it. The time to talk is before he wakes up in your pee in the morning. Im bi and when I was younger I found that didnt work out with partners of either gender even if the bedwetting was infrequent because with me a lot of it related to drinking. With some partners its a deal breaker but others are more understanding. There are lots of products to help these days. And I had one partner who insisted I sleep in a separate bed after I was drinking. That relationship lasted for 3 years. So it can be done.
 
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice
 
But how long were you together when you told her? Again it's the first time in a long time I've even tried to date, and finally met a really cool person but maybe they wont understand because we are only together a few months at the moment

- - - Updated - - -

Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

Please let me know If you were just together for not to long
 
About a month. She is very understanding. It personally wouldn’t bother me the other way around
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

Cyclist said:
About a month. She is very understanding. It personally wouldn’t bother me the other way around

If I am in a shirt and a nappy I am getting the feeling he will hear and feel it if we cuddle, but I've learned that it's all in the mind and people don't really notice you think I can get away with it? I have 7 hours I am torn you make a good point but he might throw me away and i just never find anyone again
 
If it’s going to get sexual then you need to tell them.
 
I’ve been there too - in a way. Terrified to tell a partner about a secret because of the possibility that they may react with rejection or judgment. And the fear is somewhat founded on reality: he could break up with you. It could be horrible, yes. Best to be prepared for that.

However, what you might not be appreciating, and certainly what I did not appreciate it at the time, is the potential upside. If you trust him with this deeply personal and embarrassing truth about your medical status, it has the capacity to bring you together in ways that could not be accomplished by any other means. It might be that he is sitting on his own secrets, and you’re telling him will open the floodgates that will bring you closer together. Absolutely, there is risk in sharing your truth, but there is also a huge amount to gain.

I think the question to ask at this time is, do you trust him yet to hear this truth from you? What things has he done to lead you to trust him? Wet tells you that he is someone who will hold this secret with kindness and empathy and respect? If you’re not at the place where you can trust him, (even acknowledging that you could reasonably trust someone who ends up reacting in unhelpful unfortunate ways,) it might be that spending the night is a little premature at this point. I don’t say that judgmentally, it’s just for me, I would need to trust someone quite a bit before I spent the night.

Anyways my thoughts. I hope you end up finding the courage to tell this to the right person, and that it ends up being a huge benefit to your relationship down the road, even if that ends up not being this particular relationship.
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

Bose said:
If it’s going to get sexual then you need to tell them.

What If it is just laying down together and watching movies and falling asleep together, I think most boys will just run away after I tell them unless we are together for a longer amount of time
 
If you two are really friends or lovers do not let diapers come between you two.
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

xpluswearer said:
If you two are really friends or lovers do not let diapers come between you two.
Is there a chance I'd be able to lay in bed together without him knowing I'm wearing a nappy? I'd prefer to make sure he really loves me before dropping the bomb
 
Start by weighing up the pros and cons. If he seems really cool, take your time and explain it to him slowly. If you take meds or have therapy for it this might also help him understand what you're going through. Lets put it like this, I'm sure he'd prefer you to pee in a diaper then on his lap. I'm also almost absolutely sure he wants you to feel comfortable when you're both around each other. By prolonging the inevitable, it only makes us feel way more anxious about a result we are scared of. Also, when you are explaining it, let him know that it's a very sensitive matter and that you trust him to know by now.
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

ABDLsean said:
Start by weighing up the pros and cons. If he seems really cool, take your time and explain it to him slowly. If you take meds or have therapy for it this might also help him understand what you're going through. Lets put it like this, I'm sure he'd prefer you to pee in a diaper then on his lap. I'm also almost absolutely sure he wants you to feel comfortable when you're both around each other. By prolonging the inevitable, it only makes us feel way more anxious about a result we are scared of. Also, when you are explaining it, let him know that it's a very sensitive matter and that you trust him to know by now.

See to me your answer tells me that tonight he is going to figure out I'm wearing a nappy even if I try to hide it, and that my option is to tell him the worst most embarrassing thing in my life
 
Try not to be embarrassed, I know that's difficult but realize there are millions of people who share your condition. More importantly, if he genuinely
cares for you then your situation should not be a deal breaker. Be honest, be yourself. You sound pretty damn special to me so don't worry about nobody ever liking you again. If this relationship doesn't work out I'm pretty sure you will have one that does. Good luck!
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

BuffedBaby said:
Try not to be embarrassed, I know that's difficult but realize there are millions of people who share your condition. More importantly, if he genuinely
cares for you then your situation should not be a deal breaker. Be honest, be yourself. You sound pretty damn special to me so don't worry about nobody ever liking you again. If this relationship doesn't work out I'm pretty sure you will have one that does. Good luck!


I was really hoping for a tip to be able to hide it we will be under the blanket
 
Redeemz said:
I was really hoping for a tip to be able to hide it we will be under the blanket

OK, maybe roll yourself up in another blanket, I mean eventually he's going to find out. That will be the real test of his feelings for you.
 
Cyclist said:
I think telling him would be a good shout. He will find out and what’s worse is if you have a accident anyway and not wear protection. I am in a relationship (married) and I told my wife and she didn’t care one bit. I was your age when I did, I’m 31 now. Glad I made the right choice

BuffedBaby said:
OK, maybe roll yourself up in another blanket, I mean eventually he's going to find out. That will be the real test of his feelings for you.

Maybe I should just not wear one and stay awake all night, I feel like the longer your with someone the more likely they are to accept you, but if I fall asleep after having been up all night I am very likely to make a mess maybe my only option is to just tell him I guess
 
Best idea is to explain it as a medical condition. It can't be helped and you need protection. Don't explain the AB just yet. Wait until you get to know the person before attempting that.
 
Explain your medical issue, let him know you now feel comfortable talking to him about it, eventually he will need to know so its best to be honest and open If he truly cares for you diapers will not make one bit of difference.

Unfortunately being diapered 24/7 is the norm for millions of us and theres no hiding the need from people close to us eventually they will find out.
 
Honestly someone worth being with will not care one jot about you having to wear nappies.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top