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Thread: Loneliness strikes again

  1. #11

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    Hi ShippoFox

    I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma's passing. Losing a grandparent is hard. I only ever had three and when my Granddad died six years ago and it tore me up inside. Now I'm fine, but the loss is still there and it bubbles to the surface sometimes.

    I also get lonely as most of my friends have moved away and I don't have the best social life. But I find ways to manage. It just takes some planning and effort.

    Be kind to yourself the next few days and give yourself time to grieve if you need it. If the loss is real, then so was the love. Remember the good times.

    Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
    Dinotopian2002

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dinotopian2002 View Post
    Hi ShippoFox

    I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma's passing. Losing a grandparent is hard. I only ever had three and when my Granddad died six years ago and it tore me up inside. Now I'm fine, but the loss is still there and it bubbles to the surface sometimes.

    I also get lonely as most of my friends have moved away and I don't have the best social life. But I find ways to manage. It just takes some planning and effort.

    Be kind to yourself the next few days and give yourself time to grieve if you need it. If the loss is real, then so was the love. Remember the good times.

    Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
    Dinotopian2002
    what does it mean to take time to grieve though, exactly? How do I "do" that? I think about her every day, but crying only makes me feel worse. And nothing will bring her back.
    So... I just get depressed, then I try (as well as I can) to avoid the depression by distracting my mind with things I enjoy (because things I hate will make me feel worse)... like I always do.
    In a way, I sorta think sometimes "she's just at the hospital" or "she's in another room of the house" even though I know totally that it's not true.
    It's like this still doesn't feel real. She's always been there.... now she's just.... not.

  3. #13

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    KryanAshford I have the same problem as you. I see my desire to be loved as more of a punishment, because I have a desire to get something I should never have and can never have. Any time someone says they love me (not just romantically, in any sense), it's just setting me up to be hurt later. Even small things seem like I'm setting myself up for disaster, almost like seeing someone or something I want is basically a case of "please stand on this rug so I can pull it out from under you." I feel like I'm Charlie Brown, endlessly running up to kick the football and endlessly falling on my ass each time, because I'm too stupid to stop trying. My greatest dream ever since I was young was to find someone who would love me forever, and that hasn't happened and it probably won't ever happen, but I'm too stupid to stop trying to find that someone. I just opened my heart again and got my heart broken again, and that just made me feel not only really sad, but like a total fool. I didn't feel like a fool for opening my heart to the girl (since she's a really nice person), I felt like a fool for opening my heart to anyone. Every time I do that I feel stupid in the end, because I want someone to love me even though that's never going to happen. I know how you feel. I'll gladly be your friend, and I guess we can hang out and be lonely together.

    - - - Updated - - -

    ShippoFox I'm really sorry for your loss. Even though I just lost my grandmother about a month ago, there's no way to truly compare one person's loss with another person's loss. Just know that you and your family are in my heart. You won't move on, but you will move forward. "Moving on" after someone dies just doesn't happen, and it's inappropriate on all levels to think that that does happen. You don't just forget the person you lost, not soon, not ever, and you're supposed to remember your loved ones. You'll eventually move forward with your life, which is ultimately what your grandmother would want, but you'll never just move on from her, and that's not something anyone could do. My hardest loss was my dog, only because he was the family member I was always the closest to, and he was the only one who loved me for most of my life. I still wish I could have him back, mainly so that I'd have someone to love me again. Hopefully, you have others in your family to comfort you and love you now that there's been a loss, and know that I'm thinking about you. <3

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