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Thread: My girlfriend

  1. #1

    Default My girlfriend

    Alright people - your boy Baby Jake aka Jake Rabbit aka J.R. Da REALEST... has a girlfriend now.

    Now - before you close the thread, know that I am NOT considering "telling her my secret desires and omg I am scared of rejection". This is something along those lines but not quite that.

    Anyway... she and I have known each other for years, and we've just begun going out a few weeks ago. Already, we've both gotten pretty close. She knows all about my incontinence, and yeah - she actually knows mostly about my TB/furry side.

    But that last part is where I'm beginning to get concerned. Well... not really concerned... just... I'm trying to not get concerned, anyway.

    She knows that I "enjoy ageplay and regression", and actually thinks its cute to an extent. She thinks my pacifier(s) are cute, and has even fed me a bottle once. But that's all that's ever happened.

    For those things, I am grateful. But I can't help but want more, obviously. I want to be in diapers around her, which she has openly stated would make her feel initially uncomfortable, and yes, I would love for her and I to really engage in some real role play.

    The problem is, I'm growing impatient. I'm very excitable, and the fact that she has been so open-minded so far has made me want to keep going. I haven't brought this up but that's because I know she wouldn't really want to be more involved. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, and I'm starting to question how far into this she is willing to go before her personal opinion of ME begins to change.

    Continuing on, I'm beginning to realize that if she isn't able to somehow satisfy these desires of mine... I may begin to not want to continue dating her. I'm not going to lie - I like her quite a bit. But these desires of ours, diapers, being babied, etc. - are very strong.

    And I can't simply say "Oh that's enough for me - she likes my pacifier and my bottle" - because that would be lying, and I am no liar.

    So I guess in a nutshell - I want my girlfriend to get more involved in and try role-playing. But I don't want to scare her away. And I am afraid that if she DOESN'T want to do it, EVER! - then I'll begin to feel less attracted to her, and that'll obviously risk us breaking up.

    This was a pretty quickly written post, so it's probably all messy and hard to follow. So make due, and ask any questions.

    I'm just asking for advice!

  2. #2

    Default

    Are you SURE its a chick? You kind of give off the "haaaaiiii" vibe...Kidding....Well, grats and I hope it goes well.

  3. #3
    Darkfinn

    Default

    Dude... do it sooner than later. If a relationship is going to work in the long-term you need to be up front about ALL your kinks and desires. This isn't the kind of stuff to hide.

  4. #4

    Default

    "I want my girlfriend to get more involved in and try role-playing. But I don't want to scare her away. And I am afraid that if she DOESN'T want to do it, EVER! - then I'll begin to feel less attracted to her, and that'll obviously risk us breaking up."

    You said you're into honesty and not being a liar. So, tell her that ^

    Love sucks. Or it's great. That's the chance we all take. She might not be able to give you a definitive answer right now, but let her know what you'll eventually be wanting. If she feels she might one day be up for that, and you feel it's a worth investment. Wait. You say you're growing impatient, but you also say it's only been a few weeks since you've been dating her. You really need to be more patient with others than that; that much I can tell you with certainty.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Baby Jake View Post
    Alright people - your boy Baby Jake aka Jake Rabbit aka J.R. Da REALEST... has a girlfriend now.

    Now - before you close the thread, know that I am NOT considering "telling her my secret desires and omg I am scared of rejection". This is something along those lines but not quite that.

    Anyway... she and I have known each other for years, and we've just begun going out a few weeks ago. Already, we've both gotten pretty close. She knows all about my incontinence, and yeah - she actually knows mostly about my TB/furry side.

    But that last part is where I'm beginning to get concerned. Well... not really concerned... just... I'm trying to not get concerned, anyway.

    She knows that I "enjoy ageplay and regression", and actually thinks its cute to an extent. She thinks my pacifier(s) are cute, and has even fed me a bottle once. But that's all that's ever happened.

    For those things, I am grateful. But I can't help but want more, obviously. I want to be in diapers around her, which she has openly stated would make her feel initially uncomfortable, and yes, I would love for her and I to really engage in some real role play.

    The problem is, I'm growing impatient. I'm very excitable, and the fact that she has been so open-minded so far has made me want to keep going. I haven't brought this up but that's because I know she wouldn't really want to be more involved. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, and I'm starting to question how far into this she is willing to go before her personal opinion of ME begins to change.

    Continuing on, I'm beginning to realize that if she isn't able to somehow satisfy these desires of mine... I may begin to not want to continue dating her. I'm not going to lie - I like her quite a bit. But these desires of ours, diapers, being babied, etc. - are very strong.

    And I can't simply say "Oh that's enough for me - she likes my pacifier and my bottle" - because that would be lying, and I am no liar.

    So I guess in a nutshell - I want my girlfriend to get more involved in and try role-playing. But I don't want to scare her away. And I am afraid that if she DOESN'T want to do it, EVER! - then I'll begin to feel less attracted to her, and that'll obviously risk us breaking up.

    This was a pretty quickly written post, so it's probably all messy and hard to follow. So make due, and ask any questions.

    I'm just asking for advice!
    Wait she thinks a pacifier and bottle is cute, but not diapers? Thats just like people who say they hate apple juice but love apples. If she accepts of your incontinence, but doesnt feel comfortable with you wearing diapers around her then that makes no sense. I agree with you though because just a pacifier or a bottle doesnt complete the feeling. Diapers in my opinion are a must when getting ready to be babyish. It doesnt feel the same just to drink a bottle and suck on a pacifier. Your right with our feelings though they are VERY powerfull. Try going for a week without thinking about, or doing, anything *B/DL related.



    Quote Originally Posted by babydry79 View Post
    "I want my girlfriend to get more involved in and try role-playing. But I don't want to scare her away. And I am afraid that if she DOESN'T want to do it, EVER! - then I'll begin to feel less attracted to her, and that'll obviously risk us breaking up."

    You said you're into honesty and not being a liar. So, tell her that ^

    Love sucks. Or it's great. That's the chance we all take. She might not be able to give you a definitive answer right now, but let her know what you'll eventually be wanting. If she feels she might one day be up for that, and you feel it's a worth investment. Wait. You say you're growing impatient, but you also say it's only been a few weeks since you've been dating her. You really need to be more patient with others than that; that much I can tell you with certainty.

    Its hard to be patient because hes already gotten a taste of it. If I were him I'd be dieing to ask her after like a week.
    Last edited by Peachy; 18-May-2009 at 11:58. Reason: merging double post - use "multiple quotes"-feature

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by jter42 View Post
    Its hard to be patient because hes already gotten a taste of it. If I were him I'd be dieing to ask her after like a week.
    I would not presume to know how difficult the situation may be to bear

    However, aggressively pushing this is more than likely not the way to go. 1. because she will feel uncomfortable and pressured. 2. Leaping into this sort of thing will mostly likely cheapen the relationship.

    Relationships are give and take. If you're so preoccupied with asking this sort of thing "every week", you're probably not being attentive enough to your partner's needs and wants.

    It's easier to be patient when you're focusing on something else. (Or someone else.)

  7. #7

    Default

    A healthy relationship is all about give and take. You are both going to have to make sacrifices to make things work.

    You seem to have told her about all of your desires, but it doesn't sound like you have told her exactly how much they mean to you and how they make you feel. You need to sit down and lay it all out...plain and simple.

    Mostly knowing about your TB/furry side means nothing. She either knows how much this all means to you or she doesn't. If you want her to participate, she has to know what they all mean to you. You can't assume that just because you told her you like to drink out of baby bottles that she is going to feed you one anytime you get together.

    You say you want to wear diapers around her, but given that your incontinent, aren't you always in diapers when your around her anyway? You need to make sure she understands the full extent of your incontinence. When you have sex with her, i'm sure some preparation will be required to ensure both of you receive pleasure. Pissing on her right after climax would not be cool...no matter how much she likes you.

    I don't think you need to worry about her breaking up with you. The fact that she has already fed you a bottle signals that she is open and willing to do anything to you make you happy. But, you need to be honest and up front with her. If you want her to indulge you, you gotta tell her about it all. Tell her how it feels when she gives you a bottle. Tell her you want her to change you. Tell her you want to role play. She's not going to connect the dots herself. This is to bizarre of a fetish for that to happen. Tell her what would make you happy. Make sure though to ask her how she feels and ask her if there is anything about it that makes her uncomfortable and be willing to make sacrifices. She may not feel comfortable jumping all in right away..you might have to slowly build up to your "ultimate fantasy". She probably doesn't have much experience dealing with a with diaper wearing, bottle drinking 19 year old, so go easy on her. Most importantly, in your conversation, make sure to reinforce that you are still the same person she first connected with, that all of this just makes you feel good and is something you like to indulge in from time to time. She has to understand that this is just a part of your personality and does not define you. She didn't become your girlfriend because you wear diapers and like to act like a baby. She became your girlfriend because of your relationship outside of the bedroom.

    All of that said, you need to make it a point to indulge her if you expect her to indulge you. Find out her fetish. Find out what drives her wild and do it for her...without asking and without her having to indulge you first.

    You want her to be your girlfriend, not your mommy...so be realistic. She is most likely not going to get anything out of seeing you in a diaper and drinking from a bottle. The only reason she would do it is to make you happy. Understand that and appreciate that. Baby time a few times a month would probably be no big deal, but baby time every time you get intimate would be a major problem..for both of you.

    In the end though, you have to prepare yourself for the fact that this whole thing may freak her out and unfortunately, there is nothing you can do if it does. This is obviously a big part of your life and if you aren't willing to compromise or give it all up to make the relationship work, then its probably best that you go your separate ways. Honesty is always the best policy, no matter what the end result. No point in wasting your time in something that just wasn't meant to be.


  8. #8

    Default

    well, if it were me, I'd ask myself a few questions:
    1) how important is gratification to me? If it's a really critical point of compatibility, finding a partner who is sexually compatible is equally critical. But know that this is going to profoundly limit whom you will have a successful relationship with. A more practical option, one I've adopted, is simply to assume as a default stance that I will never be gratified, and I've learned to be satisfied with DL activities as solitary behavior. It's less than pleasant, but it works out very well. Should I never find someone who would be willing to participate, I won't be let down; should I happen upon such a person, I will have quite a delight.
    2) Is it something she might be able to look past, or is the kind of involvement you want something she's definitely not OK with and never will be. There's something in psychology called "crystallization," where, as you grow more and romantically engaged with someone, you learn to look beyond what you see as faults or unattractive points. She may not be willing now, but in time she may come around.

    Given those two considerations, at some point you'll need to be frank, albeit understanding and objective, about your desires. But when you do it and whether it's just a "Hey, I would like you get more involved, but whatever if you don't want to," or "To be honest, this is really important to me and I don't think I can go forever without it," is really up to those considerations.
    To give you some empathy, my gf knows all about my DL side, and, as much as she wants to make me happy, I can tell that the thought of even seeing me in a diaper really goes against the grain for her. For me, though, sexuality is pretty trivial, and I'd rather make her happy than be pleased at her expense, so I've just let it be. It hurts... a lot... but I love her too much to let it get to me. If she gets over it in time, horray! If not, at least she's OK with me doing it on my own time.

  9. #9
    Peachy

    Default

    I'll go with the others here and ask you to think about two things:
    (1) You're talking about your desires - to a point where you say that if she doesn't go further into the TB-world with you, you may dump her. What about her desires? Are you sure they are met too? Keep in mind that a successful relationship is a give and take-situation...don't just take. That said, if you have something to give to her, she may be more willing to give something back to you that she isn't really interested in herself. However, finding out what kind of important but somewhat secret thing she wants takes time, so it comes down to patience again.
    (2) If you're incontinent to some degree, why do you wish to 'wear diapers around her'? Don't you do that already? Besides, if she knows about your incontinence problems, she will have warmed up to the idea of being around a diapered you anyway. Sure, that's not an invitation to rip off your clothes and go prancing around the room in just your diapers in her presence, but - in a mature and factual situation (not in a TB-roleplay) - have a serious talk with her about her and your diapers and see where that goes.

    To summarize: Be patient, slowly introduce her to the inevitable (you in diapers) and poke around for things she enjoys and then see if you can do some kind of 'trade'...and take it from there.

    Peachy

  10. #10

    Default

    If your wanting her to explore your kinks I would suggest you be willing to explore her's as well.(if she has any that is) Showing that your willing to give might make her more receptive to your needs. All though going by the fact that she has already fed you a bottle I'd think she would be willing to go farther. (but she might not so beware)

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