onegoodcry
Contributor
- Messages
- 5
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Other
Hello everyone. I'm here because I want to outgrow, or at least regulate, my exclusive fetish. I haven't "worn" since I was potty trained at age 5, although the prospect of "little space" sounds more and more appealing. Instead, AB/DL has manifested mostly as art commissions and roleplays.
My non-AB/DL interests include literature, philosophy, music, video games, and art. I have a working knowledge of Photoshop and am in the process of writing a novel. I want to finish that novel at some point, and possibly play in a band.
Around two months ago, I had a nervous breakdown in which I was forgetting to eat and sleep. I've pondered desperately which link in the chain caused me to "snap". It was a clusterf**k of factors ranging from planning for college to all the marijuana I did this summer - and don't forget about a plethora of "mommy issues". I practically learned to walk by her gaslighting.
Any way you slice it, my manic episode landed me an inpatient stay at a mental hospital, and a diagnosis of Bipolar I "with psychotic features".
The first med they put me on was an absolute s**tshow, for lack of a better word. It had me feeling like my mind, soul, and body were having a standoff with each other. I've spent so much of my life in transition, that at a couple points I even considered that kind of transition. Meanwhile, I'm an only child trying to resolve some early-onset erectile dysfunction.
I'm not as "anti-med" as I used to be, mind you. Part of me wants a full body MRI scan. But now it, feels like every coping mechanism of mine is just tainted. Like there's a blockade in my head preventing the joy of anything from registering.
The one mindset I took refuge in during some of my worst crisis moments... I can't access.
I'm sick of the f**ing snowball effect. I'm sick of being held back by trauma.
I want control over my life, my five senses, my creativity, a normal but flexible sleep cycle, and eventually to "get my rocks off" with some guys and girls.
I've already proven that I can "adult" - although there's still some work to do in that area.
But before all that, I want a good, long cry.
My non-AB/DL interests include literature, philosophy, music, video games, and art. I have a working knowledge of Photoshop and am in the process of writing a novel. I want to finish that novel at some point, and possibly play in a band.
Around two months ago, I had a nervous breakdown in which I was forgetting to eat and sleep. I've pondered desperately which link in the chain caused me to "snap". It was a clusterf**k of factors ranging from planning for college to all the marijuana I did this summer - and don't forget about a plethora of "mommy issues". I practically learned to walk by her gaslighting.
Any way you slice it, my manic episode landed me an inpatient stay at a mental hospital, and a diagnosis of Bipolar I "with psychotic features".
The first med they put me on was an absolute s**tshow, for lack of a better word. It had me feeling like my mind, soul, and body were having a standoff with each other. I've spent so much of my life in transition, that at a couple points I even considered that kind of transition. Meanwhile, I'm an only child trying to resolve some early-onset erectile dysfunction.
I'm not as "anti-med" as I used to be, mind you. Part of me wants a full body MRI scan. But now it, feels like every coping mechanism of mine is just tainted. Like there's a blockade in my head preventing the joy of anything from registering.
The one mindset I took refuge in during some of my worst crisis moments... I can't access.
I'm sick of the f**ing snowball effect. I'm sick of being held back by trauma.
I want control over my life, my five senses, my creativity, a normal but flexible sleep cycle, and eventually to "get my rocks off" with some guys and girls.
I've already proven that I can "adult" - although there's still some work to do in that area.
But before all that, I want a good, long cry.
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