Anyone married worn frequently in secret for a long time?

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Regularnot

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Getting caught is often a topic, but as I start to wear more frequently(daily, recently two a day..), I wonder what the communities experience is with frequent wearing when there are wife and kids around and successfully keeping it a secret? I should probably stop while I'm ahead... but there are countless threads about the binge and purge cycle.

I started because of a brief medical issue, and it rekindled my interest; kind of came at the right time, when I really needed a stress reliever...
 
I always got caught by my wife and it drove her crazy. She always felt I was hiding it from her but I was just ashamed. About 5 years ago we were on this site and started looking at the adult size baby print diapers. My wife commented that at least they are made fir adults. I purchased a pack and the rest is history. My wife is the absolute best. She puts adult size baby print diapers on me every night and she said she is happy to do it. I get to be a man all day and really feel like a baby every night. She also puts a onesie on me with my diaper. Makes me feel very babyish. Can’t believe I love it but I do. I’ve never felt more loved in my life. I am a very fit 44 year old and very muscular so the diapers are not what you would expect. It’s incredable to have the love of your life put a diaper and baby powder on you with a onesie and then get in bed an cuddle up. After 19 years of marriage I’m am completely satisfied.
 
I wear secretly in the same house, but not generally in the same room... And not all that frequently... Like two or three times a month. Occasionally, I'll be sitting watching tv with a diaper under jeans after bedtime and a kid will come out for a glass of water or something. I don't act weird, but i also won't get up if i can help it, or I'll use some form of distraction and limit movement. They've never noticed (as far as i know).
 
Very, very few married people will be able to last 10+ years without the SO or kids finding the diapers. Not if, but when they find out, you've got a 50/50 chance of it going really good or really bad.

On the other hand, being open about your diaper needs before getting married can be a mostly neutral, or really good thing. The difference between the two is obvious. Always tell your SO.
 
I went 11 years without being discovered by my wife. I finally just told her about it. It went very badly, but things have lightened up a little since then. That was about 3 years ago.
 
I had been experimenting with diapers for quite some time, when my wife found my diaper stash. Real shocker. She had been down a similar road many years ago when she discovered that I was into CDing and wearing lingerie. She finally got over it so this time with the diapers wasn't too bad. After some time of still doing it in secret, I mentioned that I wanted to start wearing at night to keep from having to get up so many times to go pee at night. She was fine with that, so now put one on before getting into bed every night. She doesn't get involved unfortunately but at least now knows and tolerates me in them. Too bad she doesn't know how much I really love wearing them, and now secretly wear most days.
 
I've been married 15+ years, although admittedly it's only in the last year that I just decided to give in and buy real diapers. Now I have a whole box of 70+ different diapers, onesies etc and my wife is none the wiser. I did attempt to tell her a while back but she's more vanilla than you can possibly imagine and it didn't go well, so she 'knows' about diapers, probably thinks it was just a weird one off conversation, but has NO IDEA that I have a moderate stash. I've even been on business trips taking all my stuff with me, which involves moving stuff from my stash, across the world and then back into my stash without ANYBODY but me knowing.

Of course, that's not the only thing I'm 'hiding' I also have a CD side that's been with me for a LONG time (I think this might even be the first time I've allowed myself to mention it) and again that is completely hidden with yet another stash.

I guess I'm just good at hiding stuff, there is NO WAY they would find any of my stashes unless they purposefully went looking. I often wonder what they would think if anything happened to me and they eventually found this stuff, maybe I should put a note with it. Recently I've started to come to wonder if it's healthy to repress all this for so long and all this repressing/hiding/stressing is starting to take its toll. I feel like I live as a character, only able to be ME when I'm alone.

While I've learnt to accept my ABDL side, I do wonder some days how amazing it would be to be a standard vanilla, not knowing about or having any of this stuff going on in my head.
 
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My recommendation is to talk with her about it. My wife knows (I told her before we got engaged) and over the years has had varying feelings towards them. She was understanding earlier on, adamantly opposed for a while and is currently in a "Let's not talk about it but careless" phase.

Over the years she has find my stash several times so at least it wasn't as bad as it would have been if we had never talked about it.


-Ieyasu
 
My ex knew about my strange desires while we were dating and reluctantly participated even after we were married. But rather than becoming more acceptable she grew more sensitized to it. We had the typical marital problems, but the diaper thing was the single irreconcilable factor that led her to file for a divorce to end our 30 year marriage, despite the fact that I had been keeping it pretty much hidden from her for the last 10 years of marriage. I don't blame her. She could not accept that part of me in any way, shape, or form, and I couldn't make it go away.
 
Drifter said:
My ex knew about my strange desires while we were dating and reluctantly participated even after we were married. But rather than becoming more acceptable she grew more sensitized to it. We had the typical marital problems, but the diaper thing was the single irreconcilable factor that led her to file for a divorce to end our 30 year marriage, despite the fact that I had been keeping it pretty much hidden from her for the last 10 years of marriage. I don't blame her. She could not accept that part of me in any way, shape, or form, and I couldn't make it go away.

Wow such a shame. To be married for 30 years and she knew going in, but finally couldn't put up with it, so sad. So glad my wife is a bit more understanding, and tolerates me in them but that's about it.
 
Drifter said:
My ex knew about my strange desires while we were dating and reluctantly participated even after we were married. But rather than becoming more acceptable she grew more sensitized to it. We had the typical marital problems, but the diaper thing was the single irreconcilable factor that led her to file for a divorce to end our 30 year marriage, despite the fact that I had been keeping it pretty much hidden from her for the last 10 years of marriage. I don't blame her. She could not accept that part of me in any way, shape, or form, and I couldn't make it go away.

Another possible explanation is there were other reasons she finally gave up on the relationship, but fell back on the diaper as the "official reason" because she didn't want to explain her reasoning or was having trouble justifying her decision.
 
I have been married just over a year now and when I was given a management position at work all the stress brought up the urges to wear again so I wore on secret for a month or two then I couldn't take it anymore and had to tell her she was very accepting and was kinda sad that I didn't tell her sooner she even sometimes participates and spoils me she even bought me 3 new coloring books today as a surprise
 
It seems to me that most of you have had very good luck with your wives, while only a few have experienced a total lack of acceptance. I'm somewhere in the middle.

When my wife and met about 26 years ago, my diaper "thing" was in the distant past. I hadn't even thought of wearing a diaper in years. But then I got a job traveling. While in a strange city, I got the urge to do something I could only do alone, and for some reason diapers reared their heads again. Well, I was now a newlywed and hooked on diapers.

It took me a while to come clean, and it did not go well. I'll skip all the ups and downs and just say that the wife and I have an uneasy peace about it. She knows I have them, and she knows I wear, but has never seen one (though she has stumbled upon a couple/few used pads over the years), and has CERTAINLY never seen me in a diaper. Ever.

So that's my DL life. It is the sole issue that divides us and pretty much the sole point of contention between me and the wife. We are still madly in love all these years later, but she's clearly never going to accept or participate in anything having to do with that side of me, and it makes me sad.

-RMS
 
I wore secretly while living with the woman who would eventually become my wife. She found out about it long before I actually proposed. In fact, it brought us closer together that she learned some of my "dark secrets."
 
RMS401 said:
It seems to me that most of you have had very good luck with your wives, while only a few have experienced a total lack of acceptance. I'm somewhere in the middle.

When my wife and met about 26 years ago, my diaper "thing" was in the distant past. I hadn't even thought of wearing a diaper in years. But then I got a job traveling. While in a strange city, I got the urge to do something I could only do alone, and for some reason diapers reared their heads again. Well, I was now a newlywed and hooked on diapers.

It took me a while to come clean, and it did not go well. I'll skip all the ups and downs and just say that the wife and I have an uneasy peace about it. She knows I have them, and she knows I wear, but has never seen one (though she has stumbled upon a couple/few used pads over the years), and has CERTAINLY never seen me in a diaper. Ever.

So that's my DL life. It is the sole issue that divides us and pretty much the sole point of contention between me and the wife. We are still madly in love all these years later, but she's clearly never going to accept or participate in anything having to do with that side of me, and it makes me sad.

-RMS

We share the same story. Our "other side" will either bring your relationship closer or invite a "big elephant in the room". How loong ago did you tell her?
 
I have been married 20 years and I went through a time where I said I needed diapers to cope with stress. She tolerated it but I have never come clean with her and I haven’t wore them in years at home (we have 2 teenage kids). I travel for work and wear often out of town. I have a friend that hides my stash she is amazing for me. But it really is an stress reliever and outlet for the daily demands of stressful life. I truly love wearing and like everyone above the urges come and go. It’s crzy but good to see we are not alone in our strange/odd fetish.
 
Agomma said:
We share the same story. Our "other side" will either bring your relationship closer or invite a "big elephant in the room". How long ago did you tell her?

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Agomma. I told her over 20 years ago and although it's a non-issue (or at least a non-spoken issue) most of the time, it's always just beneath the surface. Or maybe it just feels that way to me because I'm always thinking about diapers. If she had been accepting and even enthusiastic, as others here have experienced, I dare say my home life would likely be very different.

Again, I love this woman with all my heart. It's just this one thing … but it is a biggie.

-RMS
 
RMS401 said:
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Agomma. I told her over 20 years ago and although it's a non-issue (or at least a non-spoken issue) most of the time, it's always just beneath the surface. Or maybe it just feels that way to me because I'm always thinking about diapers. If she had been accepting and even enthusiastic, as others here have experienced, I dare say my home life would likely be very different.

Again, I love this woman with all my heart. It's just this one thing … but it is a biggie.

-RMS

Well.. We can agree that even if it's a biggie, it won't change your feelings for her :) I do however hope my wife will be more open for my DL side some time.

In my opinion, I was really concidering in going back to diapers secretly after years without wearing. The two biggest cons in doing that was that I would end up telling her anyways. I figuerd she would eventually find out sooner or later if she were to grab me by the... (Aka D. Trump), or find my stash. The other thing is that its better to be honest.. It's kind of even harder to explain why you were hiding it, than just telling her.. or am I wrong?
 
My wife knows I wear occasionally, like 2-4 times a month. As others have said, it can be stressful at times when I want to wear and she is around. I usually either hide it at night or wear briefly during the day when she is not around (rarely now that she has been out of work). I think it has affected our relationship a bit and pushed us apart physically, which I really feel bad about it. We have been together nearly 19 years and nothing turns me on more than her getting close to me when wearing. For awhile it worked, but then the more I wanted to wear, the less she wanted to get close to me. So we co-exhist, intimacy is rare these days and diaper hiding is the norm. As a DL , having diapers and intimacy combined almost never happens. So I do believe in an open relationship, but it got too difficult over time to be honest when wearing, so I just hide it. I think she knows occasionally, but doesn't make a big deal. But it definetly has brought us more apart and that is something I am always trying to work on changing.
 
When I had a medical issue and a reason to wear, my wife was fine with that, but did not want anything to do with it and explicitly stated "don't let the kids find any"; once the issue passed I kept buying and stashing in my trunk until she borrowed the car - I came home and she told me she had bagged up all the diapers I didn't need anymore and donated them to a shelter. So I pretty much know where she stands. She may well tolerate it if i wore "for anxiety", but I know she would not like it and I would be hiding it anyway. I have other interests that are more 'main stream 50 shades of gray -ish'; she tried early on but just does not understand fetishes and would rather they not exist...

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Nice! Trying to change your partner to like it is just the reverse of them trying to tell you to stop liking it... finding a good compromise is often the only option. And sharing with others who understand is, yes, a good thing. (Especially the great supportive group of people that are on this site!)

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Jx764 said:
I have been married 20 years and I went through a time where I said I needed diapers to cope with stress. She tolerated it but I have never come clean with her and I haven’t wore them in years at home (we have 2 teenage kids). I travel for work and wear often out of town. I have a friend that hides my stash she is amazing for me. But it really is an stress reliever and outlet for the daily demands of stressful life. I truly love wearing and like everyone above the urges come and go. It’s crzy but good to see we are not alone in our strange/odd fetish.

This is post I was referring to (still figuring out the system!)
 
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