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Thread: The opposite of pedophilia

  1. #1

    Default The opposite of pedophilia

    Pedophile means sexual attraction to children.

    But what about people who have no sexual desires, they do not get sexually attracted to people, they only get emotionally attracted but it happens to be at children. What would you call these people who get emotionally attracted to minors but have no sexual attraction to them so that means they do not have sexual fantasies about them nor do they get turned on by them. They are asexual.

    Someone else even brought up the same question too about if a pedophile can be asexual:

    https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/...ophiles-exist/



    But if there is no sexual attraction, then it can't be pedophilia right, so what would you call it if someone gets emotionally attracted to kids and prefer kids more than adults? They would have the same characteristics of a pedophile and only lack the sexual desire because they are asexual. Would it still be harmful to the child even if there is no abuse? I wouldn't think so. I know lot of people would find it creepy to see an adult playing with kids when they are not working with them or nor a family member or not baby sitting them or their caretaker. It would be inappropriate for me to just go to someone's house to hang out with their kid. It doesn't matter if it's because I feel very much young inside and feel at the same level of a teenager and could connect better than I would with an adult.

  2. #2

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    I think the level of 'creep' would be determined by the child's parents. IE: They've met you and know you act like a big kid yourself, but you're ultimately harmless and the kids like being around you because you know how to play -their- games. So the parents are OK with you watching the kids/taking them out to the park, etc. Because it frees up mom and dad (or mom and mom or dad and dad) to get some stuff done.

    But that hinges upon the parents knowing you well enough to trust that you aren't just trying to get close enough to actually molest their kids. :P

    I'm sure it exists, because the odds of it NOT existing are smaller than the odds that it does. But in the end, there's nothing to really be done about such a thing because how in the heck are you going to figure out who just likes kids and who is a 'pedo-asexual'? If you just slap that label on, then MOST people are 'pedo-asexuals' because they like children but don't want to have sex with them. (And therefore I make my own opinion known that I think it's a stupid sounding label. LOL)

    As an asexual myself, I wouldn't see the harm in it. People might even think that I would put that label on because I do go out and run around at playgrounds and let kids ride with me at amusement parks and such. The thing is, I wouldn't put that on myself. :P I don't mind being AROUND children, and will even help a kid out by being their 'grown up' so they can ride a ride (with their parents consent because they don't want to), but I wouldn't want to be around them ALL THE TIME.

    [edit]

    Also just thinking, the title is misleading. This wouldn't be the 'opposite' of pedophilia, it would be the non-sexual variant. Two branches of the same tree, perhaps. But not opposite each other. The opposite, in my mind, would be Gerontophilia, which is sexual attraction to the elderly.

  3. #3

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    There are some people who are interested in romantic but not sexual relationships. I would tend to reserve the description "emotionally but not sexually attracted" for them. I think it would be weird and wrong for an adult to be emotionally attracted in that sense to children, but that is not what you're talking about here.

    To me the problem of preferring to spend time with children shouldn't really arise. There's no problem with an adult who likes spending time with children going into a childcare profession, for instance, or having children. But taking too keen an interest in children you don't have an appropriately close relation to is and should be suspicious. That is how pedophiles operate; they "groom" children by playing with them and confiding in them, so that they are more comfortable and trusting and less likely to say anything. That is behavior that people are trained to watch out for in pedophile prevention programs. The world would probably be a better place if it didn't have to be that way, but it has to be that way.

    I do also think it would be weird and wrong to want to have friendships with children akin to the friendships children have with each other (or to the friendships adults have with each other). I am not sure where exactly my judgment here comes from. I think it's that I think adult relationships with children, while they can obviously be unproblematically very fun, are for the sake of children, whereas friendship properly speaking is something that is for the sake of both parties. To treat a child in such a way seems to me to use the child to satisfy some adult's desires which the child can't understand. I don't think it has anything to do with harm to the child.

  4. #4

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    Asexuality is not "the opposite of pedophilia " and trying to conflate the two does nothing but vilify people who happen to be on the Ace spectrum--which is the last thing they need. There's enough misunderstanding about it as it is.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by OmiOMy View Post
    Asexuality is not "the opposite of pedophilia " and trying to conflate the two does nothing but vilify people who happen to be on the Ace spectrum--which is the last thing they need. There's enough misunderstanding about it as it is.
    I'm taking it as she means a specific THING in addition to the asexuality. The asexual bit is in addition to the already present attraction to children. (And sometimes Calico has a bit of trouble with getting meaning across well...I do it, too. I know in my brain what I want to say but only like...half comes out. So instead of asking about how hippos have big teeth and cartoon characters play them as xylophones you just get 'HAHA. HIPPO XYLOPHONE, YEAH!?')

    That's what they were trying to suss out in the other forum, how to describe it because "Pedo-romantic" sounds odd if they don't have a romantic attraction to kids. :P

    IE: Being homosexual AND asexual? You really can't be because the two words clash over meaning. You can class yourself as an 'asexual homoromantic', meaning that you prefer to fall for the same gender.

    (Me, I would class up as an asexual aromantic, I'm not sexual and not attracted to anybody.)

    So following the already established method, it -should- be 'pedoromantic', but no one is going to buy that. Because 'asexual pedoromantic' will essentially mean the same to any parent as 'pedophile')

    Could you imagine the conversation? "Hello ma'am, I'd like to hang out with your child. I'm a pedoromantic. Oh, but it's OK! I'm asexual! I won't actually DO anything, I just want to use your kid to fulfill my romantic drive. It's not the same thing!" They'd be sitting in jail probably.

    And before you start with the "THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" It's called 'importuning'...it's a crime whether the person physically does anything or not, and because 99.9% of people are going to be going "Pedoromantic!? WHAT KIND OF LIE IS THAT? You're nothing but a dirty child molester!" that's what our theoretical asexual is likely going to get slammed with.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeverKnow View Post

    I do also think it would be weird and wrong to want to have friendships with children akin to the friendships children have with each other (or to the friendships adults have with each other). I am not sure where exactly my judgment here comes from. I think it's that I think adult relationships with children, while they can obviously be unproblematically very fun, are for the sake of children, whereas friendship properly speaking is something that is for the sake of both parties. To treat a child in such a way seems to me to use the child to satisfy some adult's desires which the child can't understand. I don't think it has anything to do with harm to the child.
    I think people with developmental disorders would be more prone to this but the high functioning ones know how creepy this would appear to other adults. So we stay away from kids and don't try to seek them out. We also wouldn't roam playgrounds and play areas to be with the kids or try to join clubs that are for kids only and claim we are trans age or that we identify as a 9 year old or try to use our disability to get in. We are aware how inappropriate this would be.

    It would make sense though why people with developmental disorders would be more prone to is, people with autism spectrum disorders or those with intellectual impairments have immature emotions and social skills and feel very much like a child on the inside and can relate to kids more because of where their social developmental level is at. That could get us mistaken as creeps and pedophile. People would get the wrong idea we are trying to groom them and then have sex with them when that isn't even the case.

    But yet I knew someone with autism who was very much like a 4 year old emotionally and had no social skills but yet he always hung out with kids and preferred them more than adults. He also preferred elderlies too. He has been branded as a pedophile by others on the spectrum and been kicked out of chat room because others simply didn't feel comfortable around him. A former chat room mod sent me a PM about it to tell me the real reason why he was kicked out. But yet if I were to try to explain all this to him (why it's inappropriate to just hang out with kids), he would act like I was being judgmental and prejudiced. He is also asexual and has no sexual desires and he very much gets upset when he hears about kids dying or being killed or abused and harmed.

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