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Thread: Friendship?

  1. #1

    Question Friendship?

    Seeing as I have virtually no recent experience in the subject. I have been curious about this for a while.

    Merriam Webster defines friend as one attached to another by affection or esteem. Using this definition I'd have to say I have only had one true friend my entire life. And that was only for a year when I was 9yrs old. That person moved away and we lost contact. I grew up in the same town my entire life and people were always 'nice' to me but I could tell it was just out of pity for being a loner. Ever since my Aspergers diagnoses a few years ago I have wondered if I have ever understood what it is to really be a friend.

    So what does it mean to be a true friend to you?
    Last edited by Maxicoon; 16-May-2009 at 19:22.

  2. #2


    So no one has anything to say.

  3. #3


    I don't like to define friendship. The people I consider friends are just the people I talk to lot I guess, I don't know D:

    Quote Originally Posted by stonemask55 View Post
    So no one has anything to say.
    Give people more than 3 hours to answer...

  4. #4
    Butterfly Mage


    It's kind of hard to put into words. For me, true friendship seems to sort of have a spiritual component to it as well as an emotional component. There's also the aspect of non-sexual love that I have for my friends.

    I don't have a *lot* of friends either. Having a dissociative disorder is not as socially limiting as Aspergers, but it does have its unique limitations. So I have three *very close* friends and that's about it.

    People with dissociative disorders have very intense personalities and the average person just can't take that kind of intensity on a regular basis.

    Another aspect of friendship is that the well-being of my friends is very important to me. I do what I can to help them always be happy and fulfulled. (I can't always accomplish this, of course, but that doesn't stop me from trying!)

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by stonemask55 View Post
    Merriam Webster defines friend as one attached to another by affection or esteem.

    So what does it mean to be a true friend to you?
    A true friend I don't know. That defination is too vague for me, sorry. But in my opinion a true friend is someone you can depend on and trust, but is also someone who'll tell you when you're wrong. Though that might just be a teenage idealistic view on friends.

  6. #6


    A friend is somebody that I see fairly often, see for the sake of seeing them, and enjoy spending time with or talking with.

    A good friend is somebody who:
    -I trust.
    -I can respect and who can respect me.
    -Doesn't bore me nor get bored by me.
    -Is loyal to the friendship.

  7. #7


    Friendship and its definition tends to change as you get older. When I was very young, I had friends but they were immature friendships. When I was in 3rd grade my family moved about 5 miles away. There was only one boy in the new neighborhood about my age, and so we became friends for 3 years until my parents moved again. We did everything together, sports, summer camp, rowing a boat on the creek where I lived, swimming, ice skating, etc. He was a year older than me, and so he was the first person I explored sex with, all at his bidding, not mine.

    I moved 50 miles and made friends with the boy who lived across the street from me. Again, we did everything together. He played clarinet and I keyboards, so we would sometimes play together. We had an interest in music and rock n' role. He got me interested in cars (we were in 6th grade) and we both built model cars. We would go to a junk yard we knew and steal emblems, lights, mirrors off of very old cars. Anything that normal kids did we did together. We talked about girls, even though we were a bit young for all of that. He was my best friend and when my parents had to move a year and a half later, I had a nervous breakdown.

    In high school I had another very close friend. He literally rehabilitated me after I was hit by a car doing 40 mph. Again, we did everything together, and I guess the important thing to say here, is that with each of my best friends, we shared our lives together, in some ways like a husband and wife share their lives. We would tell our inner most secrets to each other, secrets that we would tell no one else. We had fun being together even if there was nothing to do. Friendship is sort of like a spiritual bond. It was for me at least.

    Once I graduated from college and got married, that friend became my wife, and I never had a close male friends again. I guess that's the way of nature, but I believe there is nothing like when you were a kid, and had that best friends.

    I teach at a junior high school, and we have two Asbergers students, and I know they don't bond with others. In fact, the one boy is somewhat extreme in his Asbergers. I always see him sitting alone. I always say hello to him and talk to him. But of course, I'm not nor can I be that friend he needs. I feel for you. All I can say is don't give up on friendship. At your age, it's a very special bonding and a part of life. You will have to find the courage to initiate conversations with people. Some people in school are jerks, but others will be open to you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so give living a chance. You can always pm me and talk.

  8. #8


    Thanks to everyone for responding. It has given me some real insight into how other people view friendship. This kind of hyper emotional abstract issue has always been a challenge for me. And this kind of input really helps.

    And especially dogboy you are a very wise person thank you so much.

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