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Thread: Confession: I used to be a homophobe/transphobe/kinkphobe

  1. #21

    Default Coming from the diametrically opposite perspective…



    Quote Originally Posted by LostInSpace View Post
    Well... what the title says. I used to be the epitome of a bad person and I'm pretty sure that my ABDL side had a little bit to do with it. Let's talk about that! *Cue the Good Mythical Morning intro*.

    So... My theory is that it all started with a mix of my ABDL side and my asexuality.

    You see, after a few years of indulging in my ABDL side I started questioning what I was doing and how "degenerate" I was behaving. What was the logical reason for a human being to regress into babyhood and wear diapers? On top of that I was an 18 year old virgin with no experiences of a relationship at all. I loathed myself for it. That's not what a strong, independent macho man would do, is it?!

    I took to the Internet in the search of an answer to this question (the wrong sides of the Internet) and concluded to myself that it was the western society's fault... I told myself that I had become this way due to living in a "feminized" society, where the end goal was to eradicate masculinity and turn men into what the alt-right likes to call "cucks" and "soyboys".

    And it all went downhill from there, because as a wise Master Yoda once said "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate... leads to suffering."

    I went on to read and watch a lot of extreme right-wing propaganda and concluded to myself that anything deviating from the hetero-normative standards was deranged. Such as homosexuality, transsexuality, asexuality, ABDL, BDSM, you name it. Although I never showed my hate IRL I took to the Internet to channel my hate in different ways. I simply believed that I stood up to a twisted society and did the right thing.

    But deep down I was just miserable. I hated myself for being a virgin and I hated myself for my suppressed ABDL side. The ironic part of all this was obviously that deep down I wasn't even heterosexual, as I would find out later, and it wasn't society's fault that I was an ABDL.

    My recovery from all this hate started about a year ago with me realizing my asexuality. I came to realize that during my whole life I had never actually taken the initiative to hit on girls, and the only reason I desperately wanted to lose my virginity was due to how society portrays virgins and lone men as losers. Not that I actually would be happier if I hooked up with someone. I once again took to the Internet to research this (fortunately the right parts this time around) and found out about asexuality. It all clicked instantly. This is me.

    I started understanding that all deviations from "pure" kink-free heterosexuality were completely valid and natural, and that this was just how I was born. This also relates to my ABDL side of course, which I once again opened up to and embraced for what it is. This is simply who I am, and that's okay. I have to give partial credit to ContraPoints on YouTube for this enlightenment though. She just tore my toxic world view apart with great arguments wrapped in comedy!

    Today I am happier than I've been for a long time. I love myself for who I am and the same goes for other people. I'm not looking for any praise or pats on the back for changing my ways with this post. I just needed to get this off my chest and I figured that it might be interesting for some people to understand the thought process of the kind of person that I was.

    Feel free to ask any questions or tell your stories if you've been in this position as well. Peace!
    This has been very interesting for me to read. Historically, I've had a fairly unforgiving view of those who espouse homophobic / transphobic beliefs or other forms of (what looks to me as) intolerance just for its own sake. You see, I grew up with emotionally abusive parents, and so I am well-accustomed to being lured into "debates" or "discussions" that are entirely insincere and calculated to hurt… which is to say, juvenile verbal sparring matches masquerading as actual conversations. She who walks away the most butthurt loses the match. It wasn't until the Internet that I learned a concise word for this behavior — trolling. Given my experience, I am very quick to conclude that someone is merely trolling rather than sincerely engaging in discussion (and on the net, often enough, I'm quite right).

    I suppose by way of illustration, I generally throw the BS flag on those who oppose homosexuality on religious grounds. BS as in, I entirely doubt their sincerity. It looks to me like such individuals are just bullies who have realized they can target a particular group for victimization whilst hiding behind their declared religion (by cherry-picking passages from some translations of their religious text). I feel quite confident that whenever gay-bashing falls out of fashion they will simply turn their attention to another group; what's important to them is that they have to pick on somebody. Who that somebody is can change with the times, and is basically a function of social convenience. I have a t-shirt that reads, "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public." It goes for bullies as much as the rest.

    Pretty jaded view, huh? I realize, intellectually, that there are those like yourself out there who genuinely believe in what they are saying, and think that they are doing something positive. But I have one hell of a hard time extending the benefit of the doubt. It's all too easy to start feeling like I'm raising my blood pressure for nothing more than some loser's personal entertainment. Had I encountered you on the net in the past, I would have written you off as a mere noisemaker very quickly, and no meaningful dialog between our differing views would have taken place.

    And I'm not sure how to change that, really. o.o;

    Thank you for sharing this.

  2. #22

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