Wanting to wear 24/7 ( possibly too much backstory)

Hello everyone.

In advance, I apologize for grammatical errors and misspelling. If I make anyone uncomfortable with my post, I apologize, but I need to get this out.

I have been seriously struggling with wanting to wear full time. I curse my self for being this way, but it seems like the more I fight it, the more problem I create for myself.

For me, wearing diapers started off as a fetish for me when I was 13. It was mainly managed by relieving myself sexually; the strange thing was once I did that, the desire to be around or want them disappear. Afterward I would think to my self how weird I was and feel so disgusted in myself for it. To this day I still have this to a certain degree but accept that it's just who I am. When this first started I thought okay I can manage these desires going on by just relieving myself. This worked well till I turn 20 or so.

I had a few occasions that afterwards I would still want to wear and now and then I indulge myself at home by myself. At that point I never considered my self more then a DL. I felt safe in them and I enjoyed the feeling of them used, but I started to look into more babyish thing such as bottles and pacifiers. Started to like to drink out of them occasionally and use the pacifier every night. At the time then I was struggling with a drug addiction and thought maybe the drugs where making these desires worst I could still manage them sexually but it was becoming pretty frequent and harder to maintain. I started to wet the bed pretty often and usually wore one to bed, I knew it had to of been a psychological and figured it would pass. My wife at the time shunned me for it, and hated me wetting the bed and then needing to wear at night. The bottle and pacifier I did in closed doors to try and not make her uncomfortable.

This continued until I was 24 and me and my wife separated. During this time I managed to quit drugs and magically quit wetting the bed. The desire for diaper became what it initially was and I was thinking ok deal with this like I have been. There was a few times that I would go back to the pacifier and bottle but not often.

However, about 3 years ago it went to a different level relieving myself was no longer working on killing the desire I started to use bottles and now with formula. I stated to wear them out side my house and have all kinds of ""accidents"" I even almost bought a adult size crib. I think at this point I had to consider my self an AB/DL. Mind you doing all these new development some how made me feel safe, accepted, it just felt right, I have no clue why. I started to wear full time for about 7 months until I got into some legal trouble and got scared people would find out and became super self conscious about it and myself. I definitely reduced my control overall but was able to regain most of it.

That brings us to the now, thank you for bearing with me. Here where I stand I'm now want to wear all the time agian. I have been wearing straight for almost a week and I think that if I continue I will not have a choice to get back out of them. My control is slipping faster then it did when I was in them for 7 months. I almost feel like I'm at the same awareness that I was when I left wearing them full time.

I keep having critical thinking on the realization of if I become incontinent. The struggles that one go through and some big changes for some one that usually has a pretty active life. At the same point I have been fighting it by not wearing but I been having periodic daytime accidents the more it seem I fight it. If I accept it and run with it I seem to be more and more fixated on baby stuff but now I sleep with a teddy and pacifier so I dont know if what else I find beside that. I guess my man concern will be work and relationships if I become more AB how am I ever going to find a relationship given my last one went a drift cause of it. What kind of struggle will I create at work if it becomes a need over a desire. I'm pretty lost on what I should do.

I just wanted to share my experience and see if I'm not alone on a lot of these things. In addition I'm looking for any advice of someone that's possibly been where I am. Thank you agin for your time guys.

There's nothing intrinsically harmful in being an ABDL. Despite that, it can cause complications and can be harmful to your life balance if it goes too far. It does sound as though you are out of balance.

Early on in your post you say that it seems like the more you fight it, the more problems you create for yourself. I also found this to be the case, although I would say that my problems were not on the same level as what you describe. I also think you can be accepting of yourself and your desires while understanding there is a time and place for indulgence and that life still must be managed.

If wearing 24/7 was going to make you happy and functional, I'd call it a relatively small price to pay. However, from what you're saying, it can add to your challenges as it addresses them. Have you seen anyone professionally? Are you sure the loss of bladder control isn't physical? My best advice is to talk to someone in the real world to help you get some perspective. I think that while ABDL activities can be used beneficially, you're probably in need of something more.

Yeah I feel that the balance is a little out with it tho at the same point it feel like I'm doing the right thing. Unfortunately I don't trust therapist nor do I have the cash to see one. When life gets too stressful the ab is so calming but its starting to become a norm when I'm at home. It feels right but wrong at the same time

I empathize with you, my friend. Thats a big #metoo. I wish i just felt comfortable being this way instead of hating myself and feeling so much shame afterward. If you want to talk more, Im only a click away.

Hello and welcome. I am going to be be brief. For what ever reason you wear diapers I'll accept you as a person. Personally, I wear diapers because they are comfortable just like any other underwear. Hope you enjoy this site.

Mickeymic said:

I am going to be brief.

Click to expand...

Ha! Unintentional diaper joke. But i am also in agreement with mickeymic, we're all here looking for people with similar feelings, and we all have each other here. Therr should be no judgments, we already have literally everyone else for that.