TabulaRasa2017
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 174
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Little
Hello my little friends,
I wanted to post something because this week I became officially divorced. What follows is what I wish someone had said to me and is my opinion and “sage” advice. The great part about advice is it’s free and you can take it or leave it. Some of you know me – I’m a middle-aged guy who finally embraced his ABDL side. My divorce was not directly a result of ABDL, but as I’ve said before, it sure didn’t help.
I guess what I want to say to anyone out there who is not yet in a relationship or is just starting a relationship is to be brave and be honest about this side of you with whomever you end up seeing. I know some advice out there is to wait awhile before you reveal this part of who you are. Let me tell you, while you probably shouldn’t lead with “Hey, I’m ABDL, and how are you?”, do yourself and everyone else a favor and be honest about this part of you when it is appropriate, and not very long into the relationship. You want someone who will accept you, all of you, for who you really are.
In the relationship that just ended, I did let my now ex-wife know about this side of me pre-marriage, but she and I were both convinced in different ways that we could make it go away. Please listen to me – don’t do that to yourself. If you and your partner cannot indulge in ABDL in some way together, or if you have to hide ABDL from your partner, in my opinion you are not right for each other no matter what else you think is clicking. Sure, there is give and take in every relationship, and you can’t get everything. But, in my opinion, getting nothing is not acceptable either and will only lead to long term stress and strain on your relationship. I know it sometimes feels you’ve found someone and you don’t want this pesky ABDL stuff to ruin your relationship. But if that person really cares about you and wants to know the real you, then there is no substitute for them knowing and being involved with ABDL to some degree. Don’t starve the part you need to feed.
The people on this site really made me feel welcome and human at a time when I needed it most, and for that I’m forever grateful. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, be you, all of you. Know you are worthy and human and that it is okay if you are ABDL in whatever way that manifests itself in your life and possibly in your sex. If you’re struggling with self-acceptance, know you are not alone – look at all of us here! But I encourage you not to beat yourself up and be kind to yourself. Trust me – I beat myself up for decades over being ABDL … it’s not worth it. If you can find it within you to accept who you are and love yourself, you will set yourself free.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Be well,
Tab
I wanted to post something because this week I became officially divorced. What follows is what I wish someone had said to me and is my opinion and “sage” advice. The great part about advice is it’s free and you can take it or leave it. Some of you know me – I’m a middle-aged guy who finally embraced his ABDL side. My divorce was not directly a result of ABDL, but as I’ve said before, it sure didn’t help.
I guess what I want to say to anyone out there who is not yet in a relationship or is just starting a relationship is to be brave and be honest about this side of you with whomever you end up seeing. I know some advice out there is to wait awhile before you reveal this part of who you are. Let me tell you, while you probably shouldn’t lead with “Hey, I’m ABDL, and how are you?”, do yourself and everyone else a favor and be honest about this part of you when it is appropriate, and not very long into the relationship. You want someone who will accept you, all of you, for who you really are.
In the relationship that just ended, I did let my now ex-wife know about this side of me pre-marriage, but she and I were both convinced in different ways that we could make it go away. Please listen to me – don’t do that to yourself. If you and your partner cannot indulge in ABDL in some way together, or if you have to hide ABDL from your partner, in my opinion you are not right for each other no matter what else you think is clicking. Sure, there is give and take in every relationship, and you can’t get everything. But, in my opinion, getting nothing is not acceptable either and will only lead to long term stress and strain on your relationship. I know it sometimes feels you’ve found someone and you don’t want this pesky ABDL stuff to ruin your relationship. But if that person really cares about you and wants to know the real you, then there is no substitute for them knowing and being involved with ABDL to some degree. Don’t starve the part you need to feed.
The people on this site really made me feel welcome and human at a time when I needed it most, and for that I’m forever grateful. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, be you, all of you. Know you are worthy and human and that it is okay if you are ABDL in whatever way that manifests itself in your life and possibly in your sex. If you’re struggling with self-acceptance, know you are not alone – look at all of us here! But I encourage you not to beat yourself up and be kind to yourself. Trust me – I beat myself up for decades over being ABDL … it’s not worth it. If you can find it within you to accept who you are and love yourself, you will set yourself free.
I wish all of you the best on your journeys.
Be well,
Tab