dogboy said:
I think the use of shaming to facilitate potty training was typical to my generation. I can remember my mom telling me to stop acting like a baby, or diapers are for babies, etc. As children, it was not unusual to be bullied by older kids, being called a baby, a bed wetter and a sissy, etc.
You are right dogboy. I think for baby boomers, "shaming" was an Olympic event. At least it was for my parents. I was the last of 5 children, born in 1959, all of us were 4 to 5 years apart. So by the time I came along my mother had been raising babies/children for the last 16+ years. For her generation she was an older mother as well, 40. I think that getting me out of diapers was a priority on the order of "DEFCON 1".
I remember one very specific instance, based on where we lived I had to be at least 3 or older, where I was standing at the foot of the stairs of our living room. I was looking back across at the kitchen, and there stood my mother and father. They were looking at me and rubbing their 2 index fingers together and at me, saying " shame, shame on you".
I had an accident earlier that day. I still see this scene in my minds eye, I guess they were so effective it seared into my memory, although I doubt that it got me out of diapers any faster.
Later when I was 4/5/6, If I was crying my mother would say in an exasperated or angry tone, "I'm going to put diapers on you!" She would even do this to me in front of my friends. One time she actually grabbed me by the arm drug me back to her bedroom, pulled my pants off and pushed me back onto the bed telling me she she was going to put diapers on me. I laid there waiting and crying telling her "no". She had learned to "weaponize" diapers. But by that time she did not know that I would have gladly let her put me back in diapers, but a young boy in the early 60's would never let that be known, especially to his friends.
Another AB internet friend once told me that, back in the 40's/50's/60's there was allot of stay at home mom's. And the stigma of a child still wearing diapers was against the norm. It was, "HOW FAST" can you potty train your children, it was a badge of honor amoungst mothers to get your children out of diapers as fast as possible whether they were ready to be out of diapers or not. So I am guessing that is where the shaming came in, it was just another tool in the mom's tool box to accelerate the already premature process.
Looking back on it all, is it any wonder there are so many AB'S from those generations. I really think that he was right. At least in my case he was. I think that the hyper focus on diapers, whether positive or negative, by my mother played an intricate roll in my becoming an AB. That is why I know that the bonding experience that I have with my wife when she takes care of me is so special. She is giving me whole-heartedly what I probably did not get from my mom as I was being shamed out of diapers that is, unconditional love and attention... not shame and humiliation.
Sorry for the long response, but this topic dredged up allot of old memories.
