Fecal Incontinence Help in School

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TransNate

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
  3. Incontinent
Hi all! I would really like some advice. I have been bladder incontinent for years due to my autism, and have recently developed fecal incontinence as well. However, I am in a special needs program at my college, which puts me in one classroom for most of my classes. The aides are used to helping me clean urine, but I am alwqys embarrassed to ask for help when i mess my diaper in class. Should I continue to hide it until I am confronted? If not, what should I do?
 
its better to be honest, the aides are there to help you with that sort of issue, you definetly don't want to be stuck an extended amount of time in a messy diaper.
 
Agreed. I would be embarrassed too but I think you need to get up the courage to tell the aides. It will beat seating in a messy diaper for too long.
 
TransNate said:
Hi all! I would really like some advice. I have been bladder incontinent for years due to my autism, and have recently developed fecal incontinence as well. However, I am in a special needs program at my college, which puts me in one classroom for most of my classes. The aides are used to helping me clean urine, but I am alwqys embarrassed to ask for help when i mess my diaper in class. Should I continue to hide it until I am confronted? If not, what should I do?
No matter how embarassing it may seem to ask for help ,the consequences of not asking are infinately greater ,and unless your loaded up on nullo any large mess will announce itself to anyone with a nose.

I was born with two rare diseases ,and lived my life blissfully unaware of them until something in the enviroment triggered them ,i went from the carer to the cared for ,it was mortifying in the beginning, i will not sugar coat it ,however how we conduct ourselves ,not as children who hide shit and our parents have to figure it out and sort it and us out matters ,but as adults ourselves with a disability we can not default to our childish roots ,honestly your caregivers will have more respect for you asking for help when needed , than you trying to hide it until they figure it out ,and wonder if we/you know right from wrong ? Trust me the embarrassment will be them treating you like a child who needs to be taught ,instead of like an adult with a need that requires assistance ,nothing more basic as an adult asking for help appropriately .

As you get older your needs and abilities will change ,and chances are great you will have many carers come through your life ,establishing a rapport and "ground rules" with your aides now will greatly enhance the quality of your life in future years .

Even with the most intelligent,perceptive,compassionate aides on earth they cant read your mind( they can come close by being around you for long enough to anticipate what you may need and when,but that is not always a good thing ,it shifts the dynamics of power in the relationship to a almost parent/child and unless your completly into an AB lifestyle ,and humiliation, it will make your life miserable ) your care people need to respect you as an adult and there employer. Yes they should feel welcome in your home ,but also respect the fact that it is your home and your stuff ,and not that they can make your decisions without asking .Now is the time to work on establishing these healthy adult behaviours and testing them out in school , because they right now have to answer to someone else for your care needs ,but eventually it will be people that you employ in your home, i know tons of people with disabilities and some of them realy wished they had of known healthy "boundaries" and how to ask for help ,respect yourself and your care people by being adult and asking for help when and how you need it, be independent in every way you can be, but don't be afraid to ask for help how and when you do need it ,you didnt choose this life it chose you,Your care aides did choose this line of work (or they are hopelessly lazy and stupid and can't get another type of work ,unfortunately I am not kidding in anyway ,we have both types really good & really bad , you will become expert at spotting both ).

When you reach out people will reach back , with respect,understanding and the care assistance you need ,embarrassment can be managed and overcome ,your life and health demand you start now ,the sooner you start the sooner its done,the better you'll feel ,and the easier it will get and the better you will live .

I am a high function quad (or a guy so lazy he brings a comfortable chair everywhere he goes and won't get up! )I started my personal journey into being a card carrying member of the disabled community in 2003 .
If I can help you in anyway or answer anything do not be afraid to ask ,if I don't know my little brother will he's on the spectrum (he's not my brother by birth we met and adopted each other as adults)we inspire the best in other he lives in Illinois ,well I am a "left coaster" Pennsylvania (get it i am on wheels, so i coast)Now you know why I am not a stand up comic ,my jokes are lame and i cant stand up, but i have a kind heart !.

Welcome to the communnity!
Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
 
I agree with al of the above statements here its always better to be honest then trying to hide it and live in fear dear . perhaps not shouting it al out in class but maybe if you could find a way to discreetly signal youre teacher with a pre agreed sign so that sed teacher know and discreetly can come and help you

Also you have NOTHING to feel ashamed about dear this is sadly al to common for us with with some kind or multiple diagnosi (i have Severe ADHD & Mild ASD = Autism ( Autism spectrum disorder) and a whole other of the other usually combined with sed diagnoses ) This is a medical condition and you have no choice then to try to live and deal with this problems dear so there's really not any reason for you to have to feel ashamed about this dear. And i can assurre you youre teachers won't react that mush different from youre Bladder Incontinence

Bottom line here is you should try to talk to youre teachers about this problem so that you and youre teacher can try to find a solution to this issues,.So that you can stop stressing and worrying or feel ashamed al the time for when this happen. With fecal its vital to get cleaned and changed as soon as possible as it will definitely start to smell and draw more unwanted attention to you and also the risk of leaking is greatly increased as is the risk of nasty diaper rashes.So its always the best thing to after any kind of accident be it pee or poo to as soon as possible get cleaned up and changed youre diaper.
 
They usually go around and do a check on all the people with diapers. That's always really embarrassing.

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you so much. I don't like to go in my pants in public, but normally I get a 30 second warning before my pants are messy. Then eventually the aides smell something, so they go around and check everyone in a diaper. Being found out is very embarrassing and I don't like it! I'm just very embarrassed.

- - - Updated - - -

Do any of you guys have a suggestion of ways as to discreetly tell the aides that messed my diaper?
 
I can only agree with Heronimus here 100 %

I can definitely understand how embarrassing it must be for you dear but try to look at this as youre NOT the only one in there that have this problem so im more then shore that no one will look at you different for having the same incidents occur (i utliest get a 1-2 minutes warning before my self although sometimes no warning at al and as you i don't really enjoy having "accidents" in public but i had no choice than to try to find a way to accept that this is a part of my life from now on and deal with it as best i can (ie properly protected)
 
The Aides are there to help you, if you have a bowel movment just let them know and they will help you deal with the change its better to let them know then have them find out on thier own. Bowel incontinence is manageable if you are wearing the proper protection and you deal with it as soon as you can, just be open and honest with your Aides they are there to help you not to embarrass you.

I have had a few bowel movements out in public and yes its a pain to deal with and embarrassing id some one notices but I try not to stress what I can not change there are millions of us who have to deal with it, one good thing is you have the support of an Aide to help you clean up and get back to class.

Remember you are not alone in dealing with incontinence
 
Diaper in Public

I am a DL and also a Little. However, in my real life, I am both fecal and bladder incontinent. This makes life pretty difficult, especially since I live with special needs and have aides with me on my college campus more or less all the time. However, since fecal incontinence came more recently, I am not too used to it. I just woke up before class (my school year is longer due to me being in Special Education) and I have a plan to not wear a diaper. That is because as of late, I have been incredibly embarrassed about asking for diaper changes in class and in public with my aides, especially the BM. I will be working on a system to help me get changes faster without having to say anything, but for now, I will just take off my diaper when my aide isn't looking. Is this a good idea, or should I do something else to combat embarrassment?
 
I love all of your advice so much! However, due to a BM in my sleep, I woke up VERY embarrassed. I made the decision to go to class in underpants today, not a diaper like usual. If they figure it out, which I hope they won't, I will speak to them about my concerns then. If not, I'm in the clear and I can just use the potty!
 
If you cant help it, you shouldn't fight your need for diapers, I don't know what else to tell you.

Yeah I bet it is awkward and sucks, but you gotta deal with what life give you, acting like it isn't so isn't gonna help you.
 
If you're in special needs classes then there are rules you have to follow. You need to follow those rules and not our advice.
 
I`m so sorry to read about youre BM in youre sleep i also have those , im afraid that A they will find it out and B unfortunately it will be some kind of " accident" However im happy that you will now speak to them about youre concerns and problems so that they can with youre help find a way to get this takend care of the proper way.

Reg the feeling of embarrassment i can definitely understand you dear but again you SHOULDN'T have to feel embarrassed. this is a medical condition and so you really should try to find a way to accept that this is what it is and you are better of wearing youre protection (like me 24/ 7 ) now believe me i know its not that easy BUT nevertheless with our condition its the BEST solution to a nasty problem. Also it sounds like youre fecal IC is similar to mien which is its periodical & seasonal it can have its calm periods were you believe youre al in the clear BUT it WILL ALWAYS return to the not so calm and more active periods & the problem is you NEVER will get any notice or heads up when sed active period strikes again. Therefore its better to stay protected 24 / 7 .

You're NOT alone in this were al here to try help you as best as we can dear & again you have NOTHING to have to feel ashamed about Nate
 
So you plan to go out without a diaper because you’re embarrassed to ask you aids for help changing a diaper? Really? Won’t wet and/or poopy pants be more embarrassing than wearing a diaper and asking for help changing when you need it?
 
I did have a big messy and wet accident in class and it was very bad. Huge mess in my pants and the floor.
 
You need a high capacity diaper like a 24-7 or Abri Form X-Plus L or M 4. You should be able to go entire class day on one diaper with the ingesting of anti smell compounds you should be fine. also suggesting empty your bowels before you leave for school that day and you should be free and clear I believe at least I know if I do my 2 business in the morning I do not have to go the rest of the day till next morning. just my opinion though and my experiences only your results may vary however I believe that empty bowels to start the day is a good thing.
 
I had a really big accident in class. My undies and pants are both ruined and the floor all around me was super duper messy. I had to put on one of the class diapers and now I'm in class with no pants on, just a diaper. I just wanted to be independent that's all I wanted. But now I have a diaper and a shirt in my class and I have to be checked every thirty minutes to ensure no mess.
 
Oh dear me Nate im SO sorry :frown: i tried to tell you dear but what's done is done ,believe me Nate i do understand completely. Having to learn how to accept that we have to accept some cind of aid and restrictions in our lives due to our different diagnoses is probably one of the toughest things to have to deal with. I understand you must feel very sad and ashamed by now Nate but try to think of this as a learnt lesson were you now have learnt after testing that unfortunately due to youre (like mien ) Double Inc its better to try to accept that the best option from now on is A ) ALWAYS be honest and up straight to youre teachers and helpers in school reg this problems B ) accept wearing the protection needed rather then fighting against this and still lose with terrible results C) Try to find a way to ACCEPT youre current diagnoses as well as Incontinence issues

And above al DONT feel ashamed of either of youre diagnoses or Incontinence problems as Neither of them are something you could do anything about its al mother natures work & al we can do is to try to find a way to accept adapt to sed situation and move on dear

" MEGA HUG "
 
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