(I'm about to be pretty forward with my words so please forgive me for any abrasive tones, I absolutely do not mean to be aggressive and I only wish to get the point across and I'm not too fantastic with my words to begin with)
You're making a pretty big and unnecessary fuss over wearing the diaper that pretty much exists just to help you keep accidents from being more public and save you some embarrassment.
A mess in your pants and on the floor is way more of a hassle to deal with(for those who have to clean it, those who see/smell it and you with the soiled pants!) than just wearing a diaper and getting a change.
Taking such a big risk(since you say you're incontinent) and not wearing a diaper then having an accident, the aides then probably have to go through the procedure of:
bag and manage the soiled clothes, find you replacement clothes, if any mess made it to the floor or on things its technically a bio hazard and has to be cleaned and disinfected. Then there's probably going to be a lot of stink in the room after all is said and done which can't be pleasant
All of what you're doing is making more hard work for the aides that could have been avoided and more embarrassing for you than just wearing the diaper(doesn't matter how thick the diaper is!) and asking for a change.
If you say others are poop their pants in your class and the aides have to check who made a mess, then why are you so worried? You're not alone in the poopy pamps department.
And I do understand, it is embarrassing needing to ask for help, I get it. But again, all you're doing is just making the situation a little more difficult for yourself and the aides who are there to help you.
And another unnoticed effect your actions may have. How embarrassing would it be if you didn't make the mess and they still check you, think about maybe that's how some of your incontinent classmates may feel if you made the mess but they still need to get their diaper checked.
It feels to me like something I once did, not telling the doctor everything cause you didn't think it would matter or you were scared/embarrassed to.
The doctor is there to help, and all it does is make the whole situation harder to manage and take more time, and this is what children do.
"When I'm big and in class I want something small that people can barely see." Then please, you need to act big like you said you are in class and deal with the incontinence like other "big and in class" incontinent people do! If you need a change, then ask.
No one there is going to judge you, not the aides nor your classmates.
(Again I'm sorry if this came off as abrasive and aggressive, but please understand I wanted to get all this proper and said. But I promise there's some good words ahead though!)
All in all you'll be helping yourself, your classmates and the helpful aides a lot more if you wear your diaper, a proper diaper and being brave and speaking up about an accident.
And I bet you can be pretty brave, and you can be awesome. You just gotta be brave first, then being awesome is easy! You'll be too busy being brave and awesome to worry
_____Some other advice regarding diapers and communicating to your aides______
Sure there's plenty of thinner diapers out there than can help you stay stealthy.
But being very, very honest. Basically
no one is going to notice thicker diapers, they never do unless they are absolutely looking for it, which they never are.
Plus you're already in a class where they know you wear diapers, where others wear diapers too I bet. So no need to worry about that there
And if you are out and about out of class and they do see any bulk, they will most likely never say anything.
Remember, Leaks are more noticeable than a diaper bulge!
If I can go in a double boosted Rears to standard testing (back in high school, 2014 I think. Was fun though) totally unnoticed, then you can easily slip by with a decently thick diaper.
And if you don't want to use cards, you can use your fingers to tell the aides.
Tell them how the signals work privately so no one but them and you will know what it means: You raise your hand up and when called upon, you show one finger for wet change and hold up two fingers to tell them you made a #2
