The first and most important thing that I have to say to you is that, You are not alone. Even if our fantasies do not match, many of us know the feeling of shame and alienation attributed to having a desire that sets us apart from the "normal folk."
Second, Welcome to the group. I think you will find the experience to be mostly positive. We have good gatekeepers, but sometimes trolls sneak in, and other times we have regulars who are ware-trolls and transform into pissy temperamental bitches without notice, but that too is kept to a minimum.
Third, I encourage you to open up a bit and tell us a bit more about you. This site is not a fetish fap forum it is a place for people to come for support and get to know each other as people who happen to share a common experience or desire.