Busted by parents - again!

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SorcerorElf

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  1. Diaper Lover
I had thought that I had evaded an otherwise difficult busted situation a couple months ago. Well, I was wrong. The wrath of the parents has now blown into full force, and they are demanding that I see a doctor about my "bedwetting" and that they have to buy me depends in the meantime. Not only that, but they threw out my mattress, claiming that I had ruined it by using vinegar to dissolve any remaing per that may have soaked in. (For the record, vinegar is in fact recommended by mattress sites to dissolve bedwetting leaks, and I talked to them about it beforehand and they seemed fine about that until I actually used it, causing them to blow up at me) I am now left with no bed, a "free" pack of diapers that are worse than goodnites, and more parental bs. Does anyone know how to handle a situation like this? Anything would be appreciated at this point.
 
This sounds like a tough situation but I would probably just come clean to them. Try and explain that it’s a personal comfort thing and that you would rather not talk about it... it might be super awkward at first but from my understanding is that you are a dl and since dl is usually sexual you can pass it off as something that is personal... just like how you wouldn’t go into detail and talk about the porn you watch, you don’t want to go into detail about why you like them.
 
I suppose. But then again, explaining why I have a whole box of diapers in my room would probably be like explaining why I would have a whole box of porn magazines. Only if the latter were the case, it would be "less strange". Knowing my parents, though, they are going to insist that I have a medical problem of some sort, even after explaining abdl to them. They are generally pretty accepting, but seem to have a way of screwing up facts so that their opinion is justified, and it's this twisting of facts that has me concerned, not a lack of understanding.
 
It sounds to me as though it’s time for you to move out of your parents’ house and get a place of your own. I realize that it might be financially difficult to do that, but you need to work toward reaching that goal as quickly as possible. You’re an adult and need to be able to live your own life without undue interference.
 
Seconded on the moving out part. It IS good your parents are actually trying to help you. It may be in their own way, which isn't really helping you after all, but at least they are trying.

And getting caught in your type of situation is always to be expected, no matter how well anyone believes it may be hidden. The best course of action is to head off their catching on and just tell them beforehand and in a controlled manner. Unfortunately, even with your last near catch you didn't do that. So at this point all you can really do is focus on damage control.

You can actually use your situation to your advantage though, and slowly turn your current lying to your parents into the truth. Start off by following their advice and go see a doctor. With patient confidentiality you can tell the doc you are happy managing periodic bedwetting with diapers, but want to rule out any condition that could be harmful to you. Maybe even decline any pills, but see if you can get a prescription for better diapers than just depends.

Go back to your parents and show them the prescription. Use the depends they got you for now though (double diaper them at least). Also, go get a mattress protector for your new mattress I'm sure you will be getting. Tell your parents it's for just in case, because you don't want to risk "ruining" another mattress (at least in their eyes). Also iterate your current wetting has only been periodic, maybe linked to stress more than any amount you do or don't drink.

After 2-3 days, tell your parents the depends keep leaking really bad. Say you've already looked into getting better diapers, and have ordered some to try out (which as long as they aren't with prints you should order a bag of the same kind you're using).

In the end, your parents will be almost forced by the doctors note/prescription into accepting diapers are what you need. And the kind you need are what you're already having delivered to their house. They will be under the impression you need them, which is true to a degree. Only they won't realize your need is a mental one, not physical. This will also leave it open for you to not use every diaper, and possibly even open to not wearing them when you don't feel like it.
 
Slomo said:
Seconded on the moving out part. It IS good your parents are actually trying to help you. It may be in their own way, which isn't really helping you after all, but at least they are trying.

And getting caught in your type of situation is always to be expected, no matter how well anyone believes it may be hidden. The best course of action is to head off their catching on and just tell them beforehand and in a controlled manner. Unfortunately, even with your last near catch you didn't do that. So at this point all you can really do is focus on damage control.

You can actually use your situation to your advantage though, and slowly turn your current lying to your parents into the truth. Start off by following their advice and go see a doctor. With patient confidentiality you can tell the doc you are happy managing periodic bedwetting with diapers, but want to rule out any condition that could be harmful to you. Maybe even decline any pills, but see if you can get a prescription for better diapers than just depends.

Go back to your parents and show them the prescription. Use the depends they got you for now though (double diaper them at least). Also, go get a mattress protector for your new mattress I'm sure you will be getting. Tell your parents it's for just in case, because you don't want to risk "ruining" another mattress (at least in their eyes). Also iterate your current wetting has only been periodic, maybe linked to stress more than any amount you do or don't drink.

After 2-3 days, tell your parents the depends keep leaking really bad. Say you've already looked into getting better diapers, and have ordered some to try out (which as long as they aren't with prints you should order a bag of the same kind you're using).

In the end, your parents will be almost forced by the doctors note/prescription into accepting diapers are what you need. And the kind you need are what you're already having delivered to their house. They will be under the impression you need them, which is true to a degree. Only they won't realize your need is a mental one, not physical. This will also leave it open for you to not use every diaper, and possibly even open to not wearing them when you don't feel like it.

I agree that it is time to move out. However, the average rent where I live is quite expensive ($650+ per month for a 1 bedroom or studio apartment), and I am limited in how much I can make until I finish my degree. I do have an emergency fund in case I have to abandon ship, but it would only last a month or so, and I would prefer not to use it if possible. There's a govenment program to help people in my situation that I applied for, but of course government beurocracy is taking forever. Until one of those is finally done (gov't program and/or my degree), I do not think moving out would be a financially wise decision. That being said, I am open to other ideas.[/I]
 
I see you are a DL.
So this looks like an OK/positive situation from here...

You live with your parents, they provide room and board, they buy you diapers (maybe even order better ones for you, or you purchase yourself) and they know that you have to wear them to bed (solves hiding and disposal issues) and all you have to do is go to the doctor and answer some embarassing questions about wetting the bed because you do not wake up. They will want you to modify your fluid intake and start a journal. If he prescribes pills, you don't have to take them (but reduce by one daily) and try to refuse additional invasive tests. Parents will be faced with few options but to to know about and 'allow' diapers to prevent wet bed and eventual daytime leaks. Voila, diaper acceptance!
 
LittleICme said:
I see you are a DL.
So this looks like an OK/positive situation from here...

You live with your parents, they provide room and board, they buy you diapers (maybe even order better ones for you, or you purchase yourself) and they know that you have to wear them to bed (solves hiding and disposal issues) and all you have to do is go to the doctor and answer some embarassing questions about wetting the bed because you do not wake up. They will want you to modify your fluid intake and start a journal. If he prescribes pills, you don't have to take them (but reduce by one daily) and try to refuse additional invasive tests. Parents will be faced with few options but to to know about and 'allow' diapers to prevent wet bed and eventual daytime leaks. Voila, diaper acceptance!

I see what you're saying, but that seems a little dishonest to me. They will probably be very pissed if and when they find out that I wear for pleasure instead of a medical need (not to mention possible insurance issues if they use it to pay for diapers and bedwetting medicine). So, I don't think that will work. Good idea though, if my situation were different.
 
SorcerorElf said:
I see what you're saying, but that seems a little dishonest to me. They will probably be very pissed if and when they find out that I wear for pleasure instead of a medical need (not to mention possible insurance issues if they use it to pay for diapers and bedwetting medicine). So, I don't think that will work. Good idea though, if my situation were different.

It is very dishonest, and I am glad that you recognize that. You would be manipulating your parents through lies to have them financially fund something that they are unaware of. It is almost akin to stealing. Your situation is rough, and I can't begin to recommend any sort of solution as I am unfamiliar with you and your parents relationship. They are your parents, and I am sure they care a great deal about you. Don't try and solve any of these issues with underhanded dealings and lies. If anything simply think of the time, money, and resources that they would be wasting on you, then think of the pain that would follow if it were discovered. I know it would be easy for some to take another route, but it's always easier when the money isn't yours. Don't give them any reason to mistrust you, that's something that you may never be able to undo.
 
With parents it does not matter your age they will always try to help you in the best way they can, always be honest and never invent medical issues. If you feel like you need to wear diapers due to feeling like you will not make the bathroom in time is a valid reason if you really feel that way and some times don't make it.
if thats the case you should see a doctor, if you are just wearing for fun then stop wearing and using diapers while you are living at home most parents will not accept a 19 year old back in diapers for fun.

If you decide to proceed wearing 24/7 and go to the doctor as your parents have asked to keep the lie going you will always need to be diapered that means no pool parties, no waterparks since you will need to be in a diaper. When you meet a girl you like and decide to take the relationship to the next level how will you explain the diapers.

its your life and choice but for now might be best to forget the diapers
 
SorcerorElf said:
I agree that it is time to move out. However, the average rent where I live is quite expensive ($650+ per month for a 1 bedroom or studio apartment), and I am limited in how much I can make until I finish my degree. I do have an emergency fund in case I have to abandon ship, but it would only last a month or so, and I would prefer not to use it if possible. There's a govenment program to help people in my situation that I applied for, but of course government beurocracy is taking forever. Until one of those is finally done (gov't program and/or my degree), I do not think moving out would be a financially wise decision. That being said, I am open to other ideas.[/I]

That's why having someone to share an apartment is increasingly common. You get a two bedroom apartment and split all of the costs 50/50. Alternatively, if you have good credit you can look into buying a very small house or condo. The mortgage can easily come to much less than even the smallest apartment. And again you can rent out a spare room to cut your costs even further.

The point is where there's a will there's a way. If there's no will for that independence then all you'll ever have are excuses not to move out.
 
I had the same problem when I was in college. My mom found my makeshift diapers, etc. I didn't get my bed wet though, as I would us a large kitchen garbage bag to lie on when I was doing my thing. You might still be able to do your thing without them being aware, but it involves a lot of stealth.

When I was caught, I did confess that I enjoyed wearing diapers and wetting them, etc. My mom sent me to a psychiatrist, but I was having some other serious problems at the time, so it was involved. Once I graduated from college, I got a job and moved out. Until that time happens, you have to be a lot more careful so they don't find out. Sometimes telling the truth clears the air and at least everyone knows what's happening. They may not be happy with it, however.
 
Slomo said:
That's why having someone to share an apartment is increasingly common. You get a two bedroom apartment and split all of the costs 50/50. Alternatively, if you have good credit you can look into buying a very small house or condo. The mortgage can easily come to much less than even the smallest apartment. And again you can rent out a spare room to cut your costs even further.

The point is where there's a will there's a way. If there's no will for that independence then all you'll ever have are excuses not to move out.

Splitting the costs is a typical roommate agreement and I was planning on doing so anyway. However, once you factor in groceries, utilities, and transportation costs, my share would be back up to $650/month if not more. That is doable within my current income, but there is still the logistical nightmare of finding a new place to live, moving all of my stuff there, and setting up shop there. Not to mention with a new roommate. I would hate going through all that only to find out a week later that I was elgible for a better living situation and reduced rent somewhere else.
 
Rob110 said:
With parents it does not matter your age they will always try to help you in the best way they can,

Unfortunately not everyone has ideal parents. Im not saying mine were bad, but we've heard quite a few bad experiences here.
 
bambinod said:
Unfortunately not everyone has ideal parents. Im not saying mine were bad, but we've heard quite a few bad experiences here.

Speaking of which... just a few hours ago, my parents demanded that I see a doctor about my "bedwetting" by thursday, and if I don't, then they will set up an appointment for me. About that:

First of all, I don't think they are even legally allowed to do that since I'm over 18 now.

Second, I will probably need to come clean to them about my abdl at this point and would appreciate any advice you all have about that.

Third, knowing my parents, they are going to demand to know how long I've been a DL, and if I've been keeping any other secrets from them. Like most people on this site, the answer is many years and nothing they need to be concerned about. If I tell them that, they're just going to blow up at me, but if I lie, that probably won't be good either. What do I do?
 
SorcerorElf said:
Third, knowing my parents, they are going to demand to know how long I've been a DL, and if I've been keeping any other secrets from them. Like most people on this site, the answer is many years and nothing they need to be concerned about. If I tell them that, they're just going to blow up at me, but if I lie, that probably won't be good either. What do I do?

They don't have the right to make an appointment for you. You are an adult so they can't force you to go.

Although I think telling the truth might be the only option. If I were you I'd hate to start spindling a complicated lie with Doctors and tests that lead to a seemingly pointless waste of money from your parents if they are paying for it. And If so and they find out the truth it will just make them madder that they didn't have to spend that money because you lied. Tell them that it is just a personal thing, not medical, that you have no issues wetting the bed or anything, it's just personal and that they needn't be concerned.

Tell them you'll pay them back any money on diapers if they wish and they will respect your privacy towards it. You want them to have no leverage on you so if they do come nosing around trying to get more off you they have nothing held against you.
You don't want them saying "I demand you tell us why you are wearing diapers as WE bought them for you!". Leverage it off, pay them back and politely tell them to respect your privacy. There's nothing legally they can do then. Well even if they bought them for you there's nothing legally they can do but still it squares it off and nothing they can use in a argument against you.
 
SweetPrincess said:
They don't have the right to make an appointment for you. You are an adult so they can't force you to go.

While morally you might be right, try to remember that not everyone has as much ability to be independent as you do. People that are dependent on others for physical and financial support can be anywhere from heavily influenced to completely at the mercy of demands made by their support providers. And "why don't you just move out?" just isn't an option for a lot of them, so they have to figure out solutions that will work within their limitations.

More often people asking for help here are looking for short term solutions rather than long term solutions, so lets try to help on that front.
 
bambinod said:
While morally you might be right, try to remember that not everyone has as much ability to be independent as you do. People that are dependent on others for physical and financial support can be anywhere from heavily influenced to completely at the mercy of demands made by their support providers. And "why don't you just move out?" just isn't an option for a lot of them, so they have to figure out solutions that will work within their limitations.

More often people asking for help here are looking for short term solutions rather than long term solutions, so lets try to help on that front.

I never said "why don't you just move out?" so don't know where you're getting that from. I also understand that people can be dependent on others for financial support, I myself still live with my parents and are dependent on them still for certain things. So I can relate on that sense and what I told him was what I did. I told my parents that it's personal and they asked if it was illegal, I said no and while they asked a few more times what I was ordering they eventually got the message and don't ask anymore. So I would appreciate it that you wouldn't talk to me like I have no idea what I'm talking about.

As for the short term solutions, I still stand by that the lies while providing a short-term excuse will not enable his independence but stifle it. Showing ones independence and acting that way towards others shows maturity. He's already gotten himself into a pickle and there are really only three options:
1. Lie (which is a lot of money wasted and effort for what? A degrading relationship with your parents so you can guiltily enjoy diapers?)
2. Tell the Truth that he likes it for fun (unnecessary and could lead to a trip to psychiatrist or other unnecessary tensions)
3. Show maturity by politely explaining to the parents that the diapers are actually a personal thing and they needn't be worried about any medical issues, paying back any of their expenses and request they leave it be and allow him to have his privacy. (Seems like the most appropriate response to me)

And yes I know not all parents will act in the same way but based on the information that is what I would do. SorcerorElf should ask himself how they would react and whether he would be kicked out for making a stand of for privacy.
 
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