Still struggling to go in public

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Jacko03

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Whenever I wear nappies in public I am struggling to use them and whenever I try to wet it's like I physically can't. I tried yesterday to wet my nappy whilst sat in a coffee shop that I had chosen because it's toilets are private and really easy to change in. I needed to go quite badly but I still couldn't let go. In the end I just went into the toilet and wet myself in there where no one could see and I found that easy. I have no idea why I'm struggling to go whilst in public.
 
Just takes time and practice. Don't expect it to be a quick process. Just keep trying. The more you try the closer you'll get. Eventually you'll be able to start a dribble even if you clench it off right away. Then it won't be long before you have to start thinking about if a flood is ok ;)
 
Seems like I’ve heard of many people who struggle to “go” in public (toilets). “Shy bladder” is it called? Where otherwise normal folks somehow cannot get their bodies to function like normal while using public facilities.

Maybe you’re experiencing a form of that?
 
It's probably just more the potty training. The OP has probably gone decades with the potty training being constantly reinforced. Reversing that training can be quite difficult and take time.

Hence why he was able to go in front of the toilet, but not while seated in the middle of a shop. Because mentally he has always reinforced holding it till he is in front of or on the toilet.

Another common problem is not being absolutely sure your diaper will not leak. There can be a subconscious mental block against just letting go when we might not be sure the diaper can handle it. For this reason it's always best to start off with more of a capable diaper than you think you need (rather than trying to start w
with a thinner, "discreet" one).
 
It just takes time. I never had much of a choice because of my urinary issues, but there were many timed where it was more convenient to flood my pull-up due to lack of any facilities. It can be scary to do on purpose, you kinda feel like everyone is watching you. You just have to realize that nobody will be paying attention unless you make a big show of it. Most people barely pay attention to anyone around them.
 
For me I think it is the combination of the shy bladder and being afraid the diaper can’t handle it. I have an extremely shy bladder and I have trouble getting started at a urinal if someone is next to me or behind me waiting. To wet my diaper in public I have to be able to stop what I’m doing and really concentrate on it. If I’m alone I can be doing somethkng else and just go. But it doesn’t seem as bad if I’m wearing a more absorbent diaper.
 
Although it's mostly down to practice and untraining, I'd second the idea that lack of confidence in the absorbency of the nappy is a major inhibiting factor. During my first year or so of full-time wear, although most wets happened freely there were still a few situations where I couldn't wet without concentration. The more absorbent the nappy, the less likely I was to have difficulty, and the breakthrough occurred when I started wearing premiums - ABDL brands or Maxis - all the time. Once I had the subconscious reassurance that there was always a good safety margin of absorbency, and lots of experience of leak-free wear, wets started happening effortlessly anytime, anywhere. Maybe put on something thick and thirsty and practice letting go of a full bladder in a safe environment, gradually working towards a more and more public setting. Each step will help build your confidence that it's OK and safe to do whatever you need in the nappy wherever you happen to be.
 
AAO said:
For me I think it is the combination of the shy bladder and being afraid the diaper can’t handle it. I have an extremely shy bladder and I have trouble getting started at a urinal if someone is next to me or behind me waiting. To wet my diaper in public I have to be able to stop what I’m doing and really concentrate on it. If I’m alone I can be doing somethkng else and just go. But it doesn’t seem as bad if I’m wearing a more absorbent diaper.

I've spent a lot of my life in that boat, having difficulty even using a stall if I could hear anyone even out in the hallway.

My "diaper therapy" has worked miracles on my shy bladder though, because I get so many more opportunities to try to 'take command" of my bladder. It's all a matter of practice, and the more practice you get, the better control you will have. Some of my first sold diaper wettings "in public" occurred as I was standing fully clothed alone in my back yard. But even those were preceded by wetting at home indoors. So just take it a step at a time. When you get to a step that is difficult but doable, repeat it until it's easy, then move on to something more challenging. Just keep moving on. You'll get it eventually.

As for me, now I can actually walk up to a urinal that's net to one that's already in use, unzip, and start going almost immediately. I'm not finished with my training just yet, but I'm at a point I didn't think was ever going to be possible a few years ago.
 
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