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Thread: Soon-to be-parent, conflicted with ABDL desires

  1. #11

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    I'm not a parent but I've been reading here for years. The upshot I see from the occasional threads on this topic is that having children doesn't trigger the same kinds of feelings we know so well.

    Even without being a parent, I have had some time caring for kids and although I'm aware of little ironies along the way, my ABDL feelings didn't surface during those times. As much as they might seem the same, I don't think those feelings come from the same place and there's no conflict.

  2. #12

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    I'll chime in here as well, having been a parent to little ones. I found that once our son arrived and had to have his diaper changed, that the desire to wear diapers faded into almost non-existence. There was something about having to deal with the real thing that had a negative affect. At the same time, I was trying to not give into the feelings of wanting to wear diapers, etc. It was only by the time our kids were going to school that the desires came flooding back. There's something about it being your child. Parents tend to be very protective of their children. There should be a natural barrier between their needs and your desires. I think you'll be surprised.

  3. #13

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    My personal opinion is that this train should have been backed up a long time ago.

    I don't know what kind of discussions you had with your wife after getting caught for the second time, but it essentially sounds you just put a Band-Aid on the issue. (No offense.) You just tried to do what would make her happy... but forgot about your own happiness in the process. No relationship is a one-way street. It's a compromise, a give-and-take. I don't see any partnership where one half is forced to lock away part of themselves as being happy or healthy in the long term. It's something that should have been resolved before the bigger steps of marriage and parenthood, but that doesn't have to mean all hope is lost.

    You're not going to get anywhere without sitting down for another honest conversation with your wife. Be frank: explain that you're simply not going to be at peace until you can work out some sort of solution to allow yourself some opportunity for your interests. I think a caring, compassionate partner should eventually understand. Perhaps consider couples' counselling if you haven't already.

    Of course, during this process you may have to really step back and re-exam the core of this relationship - that is, if your wife truly is the right partner for you. I'm not saying that to scare or discourage you. It's just my personal code that I would never stay with someone who showed such a negative reaction to my being ab/dl. You gotta love me, scars and all.

    If you can't be yourself - who can you be?

  4. #14

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    My personal experience was that while I was pregnant with my first child I bought my first pack of baby diapers and put one in my underwear and headed off to work and wet it at work until it leaked. I didn't get caught, but it was an awkward enough experience as the diaper swelled up and made me waddle and my boss asked me what was wrong. I don't remember being nervous and I guess they just assumed it was a pregnancy related thing. That was a one time thing that I didn't try again.

    When my son was born I was so busy caring for him and loving him and spending lots of money on him that it never even crossed my mind to use one of his diapers. I had five children in 8 years and they kept me quite busy. However, I was so unaware of my desires for diapers anyway that I never really thought about it. I never knew I was DL until all my children were out of diapers and in school. I saved the last few pull-ups that didn't get used and probably had them in my closet 2-5 years before my desires came back and I used them up. That was around the time I became aware that these desires were a part of me and closely knit to my needs.



    Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I'll chime in here as well, having been a parent to little ones. I found that once our son arrived and had to have his diaper changed, that the desire to wear diapers faded into almost non-existence. There was something about having to deal with the real thing that had a negative affect. At the same time, I was trying to not give into the feelings of wanting to wear diapers, etc. It was only by the time our kids were going to school that the desires came flooding back. There's something about it being your child. Parents tend to be very protective of their children. There should be a natural barrier between their needs and your desires. I think you'll be surprised.
    What dogboy and others said, they nailed it. When the reality of a real littleone sets in....

  6. #16

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    To the OP: I think you have been given some really good advice so far here. As you can see from the general responses, in most all cases, there is a big separation between wanting to wear diapers as an ABDL and actual parenthood.

    I was really worried about this myself when I was first married, and I have responded in other threads (which I would recommend you do a site search for, as there is great information from many others as well). But what I experienced over the course of having three children, which are now getting close to being adults themselves, is that in all of the years of raising children through their diaper years, I not even once thought about the needs and caring for them in diapers in association with my own interest. It seemed that during that time that they we wearing, my own desires faded. The changing of diapers was something that was certainly more of a chore and something I was more than grateful when their potty training was successful for many reasons.

    During that time they were in diapers, which spread across around seven or eight years of my life, I was never attracted to their diapers or honestly never even gave it a second thought. Any time that I found myself in an ABDL state or interest, this had no connection whatsoever and was completely separate.

    The others who have been parents here seem to have expressed the same thing, so I believe my case is not unique. I would suggest that you embrace fatherhood and (in my experience) you will find it is the greatest thing that one can experience in your life. Get out of the concerns of being ABDL and get into the fact that you are about to have a miracle that will change your life forever. It is a roller coaster ride to be sure, with ups and downs, but experiencing life through seeing yourself in your children and what they are is something that just cannot be described. So please, put off your ABDL concerns and enjoy being a father and parent.

    As for the relationship with your significant other about being ABDL, I think honesty is certainly best. But you need to realize that she may never truly understand or accept this part of you. Ideally, it would have been worked out before you started a life together and a family, but I recognize that doesn't always happen. Sometimes it is because one may think that after they are with someone, that these urges go away, and hence they put them aside only later to have them resurface.

    I encourage you to see to your GFs needs and care for her as best as you can in all ways. Realize your own interests are not the only ones. But also, she needs to understand yours. Right now you are going to have a baby and significant change in your life. I do not recommend that this is the time to seek out resolve of your interests. Trust me, the female body and its hormones and the changes going on through pregnancy are not something to be messed with or a good time to try to seek resolve of these things.

    So, my advice is to just move forward with being a father. Look toward this time not with fear, but with excitement and support your GF as she will be going through her own roller-coaster of emotions both prior to and after the pregnancy. But it is something beautiful and can bring you both closer together if you work together through it.

    Best of luck you you and God Bless.

    Teddy Bear Cowboy


  7. #17

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    Wow thatís a tough spot to be in...

    Iíve always told my partners about my fetishes early on. Iíve yet to have someone give a negative reaction.

    I told my current girlfriend, and hopefully wife someday everything kinky about myself within the first two months. Sheís always been supportive and doesnít object to me wearing diapers even when we go out.

    Honestly this wouldíve been a break moment for me the second she didnít accept you for who you are.

  8. #18

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    Thank you, and everyone for your response, I agree there seems to be a common theme at play with fatherhood instincts overpowering it all. Right now I don't have the reality of a child completely in grasp, so these things are just a worry in the back of my mind, but when she's finally here, I hope I experience this feeling like the rest of you, and try to embrace those instincts to the best of my ability.

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