Anyone used to be this ignorant about ABDLs?

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Calico

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I remember before I started interacting with other ABDLs, I just thought they were dysfunctional and acted like children and had a mind of a child and as a real baby. But then I started to post on the old bravenet forum and it didn't take me long to realize they were real people and were actually normal because they still had an adult mind, went to college, are in college, drive a car, married and have kids, have a job, etc.

So when I met my ex who I call Jerry, he was this ignorant too about ABDL and I let it slide assuming he was just naive and he will change is mind once he learns they are normal people too and adults. So I tried to get him to join the old xsorbit forum ran by Winz and former Lil Vickie and Yuriek who is now Elizabeth. I also tried to show him other sources but he saw it as all shoving it in his face and would start cursing at m,e saying he didn't care and I started to realize how bigoted and hateful he is and this was not naivety, he was just hateful and a bigot because this was willful, not ignorance. This is one of the reasons why we are not together and now I don't give anyone a chance if they show any bigotry and prejudice towards ABDL because I have been there before and I will not deal with it again and get triggered about my ex because I am reliving my ex again when I see this. I will even block any ignore anyone who shows his attitude. My ex was pretty hateful about other things too not just ABDL. For one he would call homosexual faggots. Two, he said lot of special ed kids in my high school were just lazy, and three he said any kid I my high school who liked kid shows were in special ed even though I told him they were not and they were normal kids. No he was not innocent and naive because I tried to correct him and he was willful so I had already given him the benefit of the doubt and he proved me wrong. I was naive because I thought he was like me, someone who changes their mind when given more information and then they no longer have a prejudice view on something. Hateful people do not change their minds no matter what facts they are given. If someone hates Muslims, they will never change their minds about them and think they are all terrorists ignoring the fact not all of them do that and not all of them practice sharia or pick a partner for their child. That is what a bigot is. I am not saying it's impossible for someone to stop being a bigot.


But anyway the topic is having the wrong perception of ABDL despite being into it yourself and then learning how wrong you were about it.
 
It is sadly a classic attitude: "Don't confuse me with the facts--my mind is already made up!" I see it all to often.
 
The main reason for this is people generally do not like being told their beliefs are wrong. They have (incorrectly) formulated their idea of how the world should be, and is, around them. Often times based on a very narrow scope of information, or by misfed information. And when their beliefs are later challenged they would rather double down on insiting they are right, even when it's obvious they are not.
 
I'm pleasantly surprised you would give credit to the Bravenet forum with your awakening as to the personhood of ABDLs. It seemed more like a social experiment sometimes than a message board with its complete lack of moderation. I remember you from there and other old places before I started really interacting with people. I guess it goes to show that good things can come out of very mixed circumstances.

I do wonder about my own perceptions of the community way back when. It really seems to me like the online ABDL world was more rough and tumble and almost entirely (often overtly) sexual when I started poking around back in 1992. Even though my own interests were sexual, that didn't mean I was looking to get off with random people. It seems to me like it took a while for the community to change to the point where places like ADISC could exist. I overcame my dread of interacting when the people seemed more human. I know I've changed as well.
 
At one point, I was repulsed by just the idea. I thought there was something wrong with anyone who was into it.

But then I became diapercurious, partly because of my accidents, partly because I just wanted to know what it felt like to wear one and maybe use it. This meant I had a lot of conflicting feelings — is this normal, what if I like it, and if I have to do it AND end up liking it, what then.

When it turned out I DID like it I spent the next few months researching and finding out what it was really about. I saw there were all kinds of people into it, some like me who didn't have a sexual thing with it (I thought I was in a tiny tiny minority). Around this time I started wearing for the comfort it brought even though I was still a little lost.

In the span of a year I went from active derision, to "maybe once in a while at night" to having an active stash of my own and favorites.

That was quite a year.
 
My first contact with ABDL or Infantilism was probably as perfect as it could have been. I had no idea this even existed until I stumbled across a fanfiction where one of the characters introduced the other to Infantilism. Due to one of them not knowing anything about the subject, the basics were explained really well, and it also went a bit into the psychology of it, so much that it just all made sense to me.

Of course, as I got curious, I started doing my own research, but I think since I had such a positive first impression of it, I was never repulsed or weirded out by anything I found. Well, I'd rather not have anything to do with the sexual aspect, but that's something I can just ignore.

I never went through a binge/purge cycle, but that might be due to the fact that I only have a few items that are explicitly ABDL that I need to hide. No, my family doesn't know about me being a Little, but I am known for liking cute things and generally being pretty childish, so cute clothing/stuffies/even activity cubes can just be out in the open. What I need to hide are pacifiers and sippy cups/bottles, but I don't have that many of those and I bought them over a pretty long stretch of time instead of all at once.

Not many people I know actually know about the existence of ABDL, nevermind me being one. My two best friends know it exists, one is positive about it, the other one more negative. I actually told the first one that I am a Little just yesterday, but I think she might have suspected it way before. Her reaction was great, she's just a super accepting person^^ The other one I probably won't tell: Sure, I might change his mind about it, but I feel like I'd always have his negative statements about it in the back of my mind, and there wouldn't really be anything to gain from telling him.

Some part of my easy acceptance might also be due to me essentially having been a "blank slate" before my first (positive) introduction. Over here, ABDL isn't well known at all, doesn't get any media coverage, and people don't talk about it. I didn't have any prejudice about it, positive or negative, since I didn't know it existed. A lot of negative perception probably stems from half-truths or stereotypes that one might have been subjected to, even subconsciously. If you see someone get shamed for something, your subconscious will save that information and come back to bite you.
 
Schwanensee said:
My first contact with ABDL or Infantilism was probably as perfect as it could have been. I had no idea this even existed until I stumbled across a fanfiction where one of the characters introduced the other to Infantilism. Due to one of them not knowing anything about the subject, the basics were explained really well, and it also went a bit into the psychology of it, so much that it just all made sense to me.

Of course, as I got curious, I started doing my own research, but I think since I had such a positive first impression of it, I was never repulsed or weirded out by anything I found. Well, I'd rather not have anything to do with the sexual aspect, but that's something I can just ignore.

I never went through a binge/purge cycle, but that might be due to the fact that I only have a few items that are explicitly ABDL that I need to hide. No, my family doesn't know about me being a Little, but I am known for liking cute things and generally being pretty childish, so cute clothing/stuffies/even activity cubes can just be out in the open. What I need to hide are pacifiers and sippy cups/bottles, but I don't have that many of those and I bought them over a pretty long stretch of time instead of all at once.

Not many people I know actually know about the existence of ABDL, nevermind me being one. My two best friends know it exists, one is positive about it, the other one more negative. I actually told the first one that I am a Little just yesterday, but I think she might have suspected it way before. Her reaction was great, she's just a super accepting person^^ The other one I probably won't tell: Sure, I might change his mind about it, but I feel like I'd always have his negative statements about it in the back of my mind, and there wouldn't really be anything to gain from telling him.

Some part of my easy acceptance might also be due to me essentially having been a "blank slate" before my first (positive) introduction. Over here, ABDL isn't well known at all, doesn't get any media coverage, and people don't talk about it. I didn't have any prejudice about it, positive or negative, since I didn't know it existed. A lot of negative perception probably stems from half-truths or stereotypes that one might have been subjected to, even subconsciously. If you see someone get shamed for something, your subconscious will save that information and come back to bite you.

My ex was full of stereotypes. His beliefs were all based on stereotypes. He would have an experience and blame it on skin color or hair color, etc. than just seeing that person as a person and it was just their personality. I wonder how he was raised because culture and upbringing also has something to do with it too.

For example my thinking is like this:

I am on a train going home and I was pregnant and my legs were sore. Then all of a sudden someone sits down next to me shoving me with their body and crowding me in my seat and that person didn't even care or have any respect. She just shoves me with her body as if she is entitled to sit and crowd you in your seat pushing herself against you. I just thought she was an asshole and very rude so when I got off the train, I just shoved by her without even being polite or letting her move before she got the chance. I was that pissed I returned her rudeness.

Another bigot would just have thought, "Oh fat people are rude, I hate fat people, they are so disgusting" and use that incident to justify their hate.
 
I can't remember the site at all. I was randomly poking around on Yahoo! back when it was a human-compiled list, wandering around on it and seeing "Adult Baby" as a category. That made me go "How can one be an adult AND a baby?" So I clicked a link and I found a website with photos of a fellow dressed up in shortalls and such. I was like "Whaaaat?"

So I read what he was saying. All I can recall now was that he loved Tommy from Rugrats and my determination that, although far from what people thought was normal, he was OK in my book. Just a guy doing his own thing and being happy about it. At first, yeah, I was kind of alarmed by it, but turning it over as I checked out the site, I changed my mind.

Years later after I got hurt and was forced to wear so I wouldn't leave puddles all over, I thought back to that and started looking again. I found this place and realized that maybe all along I'd been little inside.

Also, I've never been a really hard and fast judgemental person. Yes, I form initial opinions quickly, but with more information, my opinions are very fluid. I've told people about it and usually leave them pondering the idea. XD Like "Hey, did you know there are people who like to be babied? Like with pacifiers and diapers and stuff?" "No, they don't all use the diapers." "Yeah, they dress up too sometimes." "No, they don't hurt anybody."
 
even though i have been an abdl almost my whole life, ihave found my own prejudice against it. for insance, i heard a certain well known movie star might be abdl. this altered my view of that person. that was totally ignorent on my part. i don't know that person. only the image that is put up on the screen. it's no fun finding out you can be that guy.
 
Tommy's site, Diaper Pail Friends, started out as a monthly newsletter in San Francisco, at first it was all guys and was Diaper Pail Fraternity. I actually got hold of a copy of it in a work-study job at a college library. In TEXAS. Which still has a law against "sodomy". They usually don't enforce it but they can. You wouldn't believe it if you went to Dallas or Houston or best of all Austin. When the internet got to a useful commodity within my budget. I found DPF at the Fort Worth Library. On their internet, the Bill and Linda Endowment put Internet in every library and schools and even subsidized the electric. Their operating system suxalot. But it got me into computing, and DPF. That's a long opening. There were offers from Jerry Springer and Maury and that sort wanting ABDL to basically add us to their freak-shows

it was probably a ploy to mock us. It backfired. There's still lots of obstacles ahead, but hey, being gay or religious of any sort or skin color are still a struggle.
 
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