Why is it so hard for a straight AB/DL guy to find compatibly? I'll tell you my views

Status
Not open for further replies.

PeeJayTee

Straight AB/DL Switch
Est. Contributor
Messages
249
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Carer
Okay, I have loved diapers whether me wearing or a female ever since I can remember. I find a female in a diaper the sexiest thing ever. It is absolutely no different than a sexy pair of panties or a teddy. None. It is just part of who I am and that is how I am wired so why should there be anything wrong with that? There isn't.

Now I have dabbled in the online community for years only to not have success due to many reasons. A lot of these reasons were mentioned in this thread:

https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/114214-So-few-Females

In this thread it is mentioned that most of the woman are in the DDLG/CG/Little community and do not frequent the Diaper sites because they get hit on by guys who make it all about the diaper. Yeah, I know, I get hit on by guys too and it really pisses me off because I clearly state that I am straight.

Hint to these people....YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION WON'T CHANGE BECAUSE YOU LOVE WEARING DIAPERS!!!!

The fact is that there are asshole guys in the vanilla community and everywhere else you turn so why should it be any different in the fetish world. Let me tell you, there are asshole woman in the vanilla scene as well as the fetish community too.

I am just recently divorced and once again I am going to attempt to find a compatible partner, one who is diaper friendly. If I do not find this person I will be 100% happy being alone. I'm not going through that shit again so please no one tell me to use the vanilla avenues to find a partner. I've been there. I'm 56. It's too frikin' time consuming because people say it's cool but really, they do not get it unless they have kinks themselves.

I am just a regular nice guy who has a great job, great friends and many interests and hobbies. I do wear 24/7 but that is just my choice of underwear and absolutely no ones business but my own and who I choose to talk about it with. I just started attending events last year when my now ex and I first split up. After this first happened I became 100% accepting that I am simply a diaper lover and I am not ever going to hide this fact from anyone I am involved with again. Anyway, I do wet the bed often so I have to wear every night anyway.

Now, I also am a switch so I would welcome taking the daddy role and I am damn good at it. Just because I love to wear myself is totally separate from that. I honestly do not act like a little. I have little tendencies and do love to wear onsies and printed diapers but I do not act little at all. I am just me wearing that type of clothing. That's it. Oh, and I love the feeling of a wet and messy diaper.

If I were to meet a woman who has the same desires, she would have to be completely open minded. Not closed. I have met a few that are so strict that they do not want someone who also wears. This is the exact opposite of what the complaints are about men in the ab/dl community. I am very open minded and not very strict. My girl doesn't even need to wear herself, just let me be me....that's it!! But, again there is nothing sexier than a woman in a diaper, just like a sexy pair of panties or teddy. WTF is wrong with that? Nothing. There is no difference in my mind but it is acceptable for a guy to buy a sexy teddy for a woman and have her wear it but not a diaper? hmm....interesting.

So, being a guy who is 100% normal and likeable in the vanilla world but also an ab/dl I can tell you, it is hard to connect with a straight ab/dl woman because of the assholes. I cannot ever message a woman without her thinking I am a creeper right off the bat.

It is for this reason that I have come and gone in the online community throughout the many years of searching for my compatible female companion. Then, you have to hope that you hit it off with having similar interests outside of the ab/dl interest.

The online sites are terrible. Fetlife is okay to find events but not a partner. It seems this place frowns upon it, ABDL Match is a complete scam. I can't use any online dating site because there are people I know that will see if I post some subtle hint. Also, I have a business I am just starting and do not want it known somehow that I am an ab/dl or need to wear protection 24/7 because I pee the bed and may have overactive bladder now and have to wear pullups to work just in case.

I respect all people and that includes women so what does one do?

I am not giving up this time. I'll figure it out.
 
Everything sounds like you have some great plans and ambitions. I've never felt anyone here was inappropriate. I've talked to guys and just because I don't share all of their likes doesn't scare me off. Weren't we supposed to be talking? Did we ever get to know each other?

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
 
I think part of the problem is that most people have no idea that our community exists. Part of that is because we are a very small segment of society. There seems to be a lot more male AB/DL people than female. Finding a woman who is tolerant of us is difficult. Finding a woman who likes wearing diapers is an even smaller number, thus making your search very difficult.
 
DiaperedRider said:
Okay, I have loved diapers whether me wearing or a female ever since I can remember. I find a female in a diaper the sexiest thing ever. It is absolutely no different than a sexy pair of panties or a teddy. None. It is just part of who I am and that is how I am wired so why should there be anything wrong with that? There isn't.

Now I have dabbled in the online community for years only to not have success due to many reasons. A lot of these reasons were mentioned in this thread:

https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/114214-So-few-Females

In this thread it is mentioned that most of the woman are in the DDLG/CG/Little community and do not frequent the Diaper sites because they get hit on by guys who make it all about the diaper. Yeah, I know, I get hit on by guys too and it really pisses me off because I clearly state that I am straight.

Hint to these people....YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION WON'T CHANGE BECAUSE YOU LOVE WEARING DIAPERS!!!!

The fact is that there are asshole guys in the vanilla community and everywhere else you turn so why should it be any different in the fetish world. Let me tell you, there are asshole woman in the vanilla scene as well as the fetish community too.

I am just recently divorced and once again I am going to attempt to find a compatible partner, one who is diaper friendly. If I do not find this person I will be 100% happy being alone. I'm not going through that shit again so please no one tell me to use the vanilla avenues to find a partner. I've been there. I'm 56. It's too frikin' time consuming because people say it's cool but really, they do not get it unless they have kinks themselves.

I am just a regular nice guy who has a great job, great friends and many interests and hobbies. I do wear 24/7 but that is just my choice of underwear and absolutely no ones business but my own and who I choose to talk about it with. I just started attending events last year when my now ex and I first split up. After this first happened I became 100% accepting that I am simply a diaper lover and I am not ever going to hide this fact from anyone I am involved with again. Anyway, I do wet the bed often so I have to wear every night anyway.

Now, I also am a switch so I would welcome taking the daddy role and I am damn good at it. Just because I love to wear myself is totally separate from that. I honestly do not act like a little. I have little tendencies and do love to wear onsies and printed diapers but I do not act little at all. I am just me wearing that type of clothing. That's it. Oh, and I love the feeling of a wet and messy diaper.

If I were to meet a woman who has the same desires, she would have to be completely open minded. Not closed. I have met a few that are so strict that they do not want someone who also wears. This is the exact opposite of what the complaints are about men in the ab/dl community. I am very open minded and not very strict. My girl doesn't even need to wear herself, just let me be me....that's it!! But, again there is nothing sexier than a woman in a diaper, just like a sexy pair of panties or teddy. WTF is wrong with that? Nothing. There is no difference in my mind but it is acceptable for a guy to buy a sexy teddy for a woman and have her wear it but not a diaper? hmm....interesting.

So, being a guy who is 100% normal and likeable in the vanilla world but also an ab/dl I can tell you, it is hard to connect with a straight ab/dl woman because of the assholes. I cannot ever message a woman without her thinking I am a creeper right off the bat.

It is for this reason that I have come and gone in the online community throughout the many years of searching for my compatible female companion. Then, you have to hope that you hit it off with having similar interests outside of the ab/dl interest.

The online sites are terrible. Fetlife is okay to find events but not a partner. It seems this place frowns upon it, ABDL Match is a complete scam. I can't use any online dating site because there are people I know that will see if I post some subtle hint. Also, I have a business I am just starting and do not want it known somehow that I am an ab/dl or need to wear protection 24/7 because I pee the bed and may have overactive bladder now and have to wear pullups to work just in case.

I respect all people and that includes women so what does one do?

I am not giving up this time. I'll figure it out.

Yeah, fellow men have really ruined that for you. I mean, today on just my tumblr PM, I have 43 unsolicited dick pics.... which is honestly, pretty low for not having checked PMs in a week. Whenever a PM light goes off on any of my social media... I freak out a little bit because it is a crap shoot what is on the other side.

I hired an intern to manage my social media stuff as I am just getting too busy with my Channel to cover all of it, and I am so glad that I get to pass off the PM filtering to him. Half of his job is to filter out the abusive comments, the creeper comments, and the inappropriate photos, so all I see are critiques, both positive and negative, to help improve my channel.

He was crying after his first day, asking me how I handle this shit. All I could say was "Practice..."
 
Kinsy said:
Yeah, fellow men have really ruined that for you. I mean, today on just my tumblr PM, I have 43 unsolicited dick pics.... which is honestly, pretty low for not having checked PMs in a week. Whenever a PM light goes off on any of my social media... I freak out a little bit because it is a crap shoot what is on the other side.

I hired an intern to manage my social media stuff as I am just getting too busy with my Channel to cover all of it, and I am so glad that I get to pass off the PM filtering to him. Half of his job is to filter out the abusive comments, the creeper comments, and the inappropriate photos, so all I see are critiques, both positive and negative, to help improve my channel.

He was crying after his first day, asking me how I handle this shit. All I could say was "Practice..."


Why do you need an intern for social media? What is on your channel?
 
DiaperedRider said:
Why do you need an intern for social media? What is on your channel?

Because I have 4 weekly shows, one of which is an hour and half long podcast, plus two monthly shows, and then I still need to do a three hour stream twice a week, and on top of that, I need to edit, get canned content ready as we are approaching convention season. And I still need to have a life.

I employ an editor, 2 female content creators, and now an intern.

Making money off of YouTube is a lot more work than a lot of people think it is.
 
As a nonbinary switch who falls on the femme side of the spectrum, I came up with a few reasons:
* people are making the diaper the be all end all, ie objectification. We don't want to constantly hear how you think there is nothing hotter than a woman in a diaper, because that is easy to hear as ONLY a woman in a diaper (do you like anything else about us?)
* thirsty creepers who chase us into our various inboxes make us wary of any advances. When you've seen one dickpic you've seen them all.
* You knock CG/L, but the fact is that for some women and femmes this provides an intimacy they crave. You need to offer more than just diapers.
* You mention that it's hard to message someone without seeming like a creeper right off the bat? It sounds like you're doing something wrong and it's time to reevaluate your first hello techniques. There is a right way to message someone. Maybe don't start with the kinks or fetishes.
 
OmiOMy said:
As a nonbinary switch who falls on the femme side of the spectrum, I came up with a few reasons:
* people are making the diaper the be all end all, ie objectification. We don't want to constantly hear how you think there is nothing hotter than a woman in a diaper, because that is easy to hear as ONLY a woman in a diaper (do you like anything else about us?)
* thirsty creepers who chase us into our various inboxes make us wary of any advances. When you've seen one dickpic you've seen them all.
* You knock CG/L, but the fact is that for some women and femmes this provides an intimacy they crave. You need to offer more than just diapers.
* You mention that it's hard to message someone without seeming like a creeper right off the bat? It sounds like you're doing something wrong and it's time to reevaluate your first hello techniques. There is a right way to message someone. Maybe don't start with the kinks or fetishes.

It doesn't sound like you read my post very well.


1...where did I say there is nothing hotter than a woman in a diaper?

2...I've never sent a dickpic in my life so I'm not sure where that came from.

3....where did I knock CG/L's?

4....I do not start with messaging someone with the kinks or fetishes. Why did you assume that?


Do you see what happened here? You took my post and totally lumped me in to the creepers by default totally emphasizing my point.

- - - Updated - - -

Kinsy said:
Because I have 4 weekly shows, one of which is an hour and half long podcast, plus two monthly shows, and then I still need to do a three hour stream twice a week, and on top of that, I need to edit, get canned content ready as we are approaching convention season. And I still need to have a life.

I employ an editor, 2 female content creators, and now an intern.

Making money off of YouTube is a lot more work than a lot of people think it is.


What is the content of your channel?
 
Last edited:
DiaperedRider said:
It doesn't sound like you read my post very well.


1...where did I say there is nothing hotter than a woman in a diaper?

2...I've never sent a dickpic in my life so I'm not sure where that came from.

3....where did I knock CG/L's?

4....I do not start with messaging someone with the kinks or fetishes. Why did you assume that?


Do you see what happened here? You took my post and totally lumped me in to the creepers by default totally emphasizing my point.

1.
I find a female in a diaper the sexiest thing ever.
"sexiest thing ever" and "nothing hotter than" is pretty much synonymous. And you did state that twice.

2. They didn't say you did that, just that a lot of men do and that's why we are wary of any male attention, which is what you were lamenting.

3. Okay, I don't really know what they meant by that, but you do seem very focused on the diapers in your post.

4. Maybe because you state that you would search for someone who likes diapers first, and then hope you'd find some other common interests, instead of the other way around. They are right, if you start a conversation the right way, you won't come off as a creeper.

Now, for all I know you might be a perfectly nice man and just have rotten luck finding a partner, but you getting super defensive about OmiOMy's post does not help your image, I'm sorry to say. I do hope you find the woman of your dreams though!
 
I'm 100% behind you and realize you are a healthy male with no problems. My concern is that in another post you say your divorce will be final in February. So if you two haven't even been divorced long, where is all the negativity about not finding anyone coming from? These things take time. Friendship starts with positive encounters, increasing amounts of sharing and repeat with the same individual over time. When you find someone you like mention you are kinky and if that goes well then mentioning the specific kink not too long in the future is a great plan.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
 
Please, be fair. He tried not being up front, and honest, about what he was looking for, and, it cost him his marriage. He's not putting his business in the street, because he's a creeper. He's showing us his hand, like playing in teams in Uno, out of a desire to not have any cards in his back pocket, so to speak. I've messaged him. I asked a specific question, and, got a specific answer, and he seems, upon preliminary evaluation, to not be a creep. I do think, "Daddy? Wear diapers? Eeeeeeew!," shows that the women he's talking to, are, by and large, lacking a card that's important to him, not that I blame the women who hold that card. I totally understand that card. I just don't have that card in my hand. The card I do hold, that I think a lot of girls do, too, is that diapers help me get somewhere, that guys who are into it, don't seem to wanna go, maybe?

A hyper cute diaper helps me get to cute, and, seeing a woman, standing in a way that'd be sexy, if not for what she wore, with my comfort object in her mouth? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Friggin' ow, dude. It's not gross. It hurts. Now, when I'm not in headspace, fine, but if the potential suitor wants diaper kink, that's what he'd get, but, my Little side wouldn't even get an invitation to do anything sexy. It would hurt! Now, a regular adult diaper? Not my thing, but if it floated a future diaper guy companion's boat, fine. Now, I have had a very, "adult reaction," while wearing, but, that's only because the bladder pain was over. Maybe, if he was the wearer, I'd like it. I dunno.

I do understand, that him being that upfront, scares many, but, he did say, his companion didn't absolutely need to wear, even though, to him, it was hot, but just let him be him. That sounds reasonable, to me.

Something to consider, DiaperedRider, is that, maybe the guys you think are hitting on you, aren't? Maybe they don't want sex from you? Maybe it isn't about sexual orientation for them? I don't pretend to know, because, I haven't seen the messages, but, it's something to think about.
 
Last edited:
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Please, be fair. He tried not being up front, and honest, about what he was looking for, and, it cost him his marriage. He's not putting his business in the street, because he's a creeper. He's showing us his hand, like playing in teams in Uno, out of a desire to not have any cards in his back pocket, so to speak. I've messaged him. I asked a specific question, and, got a specific answer, and he seems, upon preliminary evaluation, to not be a creep. I do think, "Daddy? Wear diapers? Eeeeeeew!," shows that the women he's talking to, are, by and large, lacking a card that's important to him. I do understand, that him being that upfront, scares many, but, he did say, his companion didn't absolutely need to wear, even though, to him, it was hot, but just let him be him. That sounds reasonable, to me.

Okay, so I'm going to guess that was partly addressed to me, so I'm going to apologize since you are right as well. To be perfectly honest, I didn't take offense to the original post at all, it was mostly his reaction to OmiOMy's post that rubbed me the wrong way, because what they said wasn't all wrong like he said.

Here I typed out a long paragraph explaining my views, but then deleted it cause I don't feel educated enough about the matter, so I'll just say this: Diapers and lingere are not one and the same to everyone, people are into different things, and if you're into something very specific under very specific circumstances it might take time to find someone compatible.

Again, I didn't mean to offend, I just wanted to clear some things up and I know my tone in writing can be a bit harsh. Sorry about that^^
 
Schwanensee said:
Okay, so I'm going to guess that was partly addressed to me, so I'm going to apologize since you are right as well. To be perfectly honest, I didn't take offense to the original post at all, it was mostly his reaction to OmiOMy's post that rubbed me the wrong way, because what they said wasn't all wrong like he said.

Here I typed out a long paragraph explaining my views, but then deleted it cause I don't feel educated enough about the matter, so I'll just say this: Diapers and lingere are not one and the same to everyone, people are into different things, and if you're into something very specific under very specific circumstances it might take time to find someone compatible.

Again, I didn't mean to offend, I just wanted to clear some things up and I know my tone in writing can be a bit harsh. Sorry about that^^
Oh, no, sweets, you didn't. It wasn't you I was addressing. It was everyone. I'm so sorry. Here.:hug: I just knew he might have felt a bit ganged up on. I think his reaction to zis/zer post, may have been because he felt like, "Oh, no! Here we go, again! Point missed!"

I edited that post some, too.
 
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Oh, no, sweets, you didn't. It wasn't you I was addressing. It was everyone. I'm so sorry. Here.:hug: I just knew he might have felt a bit ganged up on. I think his reaction to zis/zer post, may have been because he felt like, "Oh, no! Here we go, again! Point missed!"

I edited that post some, too.

Hi hello I am awake again. And on a cloud seeing my pronouns gotten right :)

The thing that stuck with me from DiaperedRider's original post (which I did read in its entirety, twice, with raised eyebrow) was the two time assertion that a diapered woman is the sexiest thing ever and the best thing since a negligee. It was just so objectifying, and to have it repeated twice—it reminded me of this creepy guy who repeatedly slides into my DMs and demands pictures while going on and on about the same thing. It's all very ew-making.

And the whole leading with the dips? I wouldn't recommend that outside of a munch. And I know the options just got a hell of a lot smaller now that Craigslist closed the personals section. You're gonna have to be a little more patient. I am.

I would seriously reconsider how proudly-loudly you declare that diaper-negligee equivalency. It could be "turning off" potential mates who would prefer not to be so immediately sexualized.
 
OmiOMy said:
Hi hello I am awake again. And on a cloud seeing my pronouns gotten right :)

The thing that stuck with me from DiaperedRider's original post (which I did read in its entirety, twice, with raised eyebrow) was the two time assertion that a diapered woman is the sexiest thing ever and the best thing since a negligee. It was just so objectifying, and to have it repeated twice—it reminded me of this creepy guy who repeatedly slides into my DMs and demands pictures while going on and on about the same thing. It's all very ew-making.

And the whole leading with the dips? I wouldn't recommend that outside of a munch. And I know the options just got a hell of a lot smaller now that Craigslist closed the personals section. You're gonna have to be a little more patient. I am.

I would seriously reconsider how proudly-loudly you declare that diaper-negligee equivalency. It could be "turning off" potential mates who would prefer not to be so immediately sexualized.

Hey all,

Text is a real pain to get a point across the right way because it seems that some only see what they want to see. As far as the diaper/negligee metaphor I was simply trying to state that I think a diaper on a woman is sexier than a pair of Victoria's Secret panties and that is totally acceptable to women but a diaper is not? I have seen woman say the same about men and underwear or a diaper. Go look at a comment a woman made on one of my pics on Fetlife of me in a diaper. I'm not sure why someone would get uptight about that. I also tried to get across that a quality relationship cannot be totally based on kink.

Life should be fun!! Lighten up and have fun!!

- - - Updated - - -

Fascinating said:
I'm 100% behind you and realize you are a healthy male with no problems. My concern is that in another post you say your divorce will be final in February. So if you two haven't even been divorced long, where is all the negativity about not finding anyone coming from? These things take time. Friendship starts with positive encounters, increasing amounts of sharing and repeat with the same individual over time. When you find someone you like mention you are kinky and if that goes well then mentioning the specific kink not too long in the future is a great plan.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk

Hey Fascinating!

I meant in my lifetime, not just after this divorce. We've only been married for the last 4 1/2 years. I thought she was the right one that I could be totally upfront with but it was a bait and switch situation. Things changed after we married.

- - - Updated - - -

Schwanensee said:
Okay, so I'm going to guess that was partly addressed to me, so I'm going to apologize since you are right as well. To be perfectly honest, I didn't take offense to the original post at all, it was mostly his reaction to OmiOMy's post that rubbed me the wrong way, because what they said wasn't all wrong like he said.

Here I typed out a long paragraph explaining my views, but then deleted it cause I don't feel educated enough about the matter, so I'll just say this: Diapers and lingere are not one and the same to everyone, people are into different things, and if you're into something very specific under very specific circumstances it might take time to find someone compatible.

Again, I didn't mean to offend, I just wanted to clear some things up and I know my tone in writing can be a bit harsh. Sorry about that^^

You even said in your response to my response that OmiOMy's reply was inaccurate so I'm a bit confused why my reply to hers rubbed you the wrong way. I was simply pointing out the inaccuracies.
 
OP - perhaps join fetlife, and go to munches? once people have met you and can see you're not a dick, maybe some networking can happen?
 
Pete67 said:
OP - perhaps join fetlife, and go to munches? once people have met you and can see you're not a dick, maybe some networking can happen?

Yes I did start doing that Pete67 and I have met some cool people. As a matter of fact there is a Littles Invasion this Friday close to where I live and I'm looking forward to meeting even more new people. This will be my third. As far as our munches, the one close to me is mostly males but I am okay with that because at least you still get to meet likeminded people.
 
DiaperedRider, just so you know, I didn't put that part about what was painful to me, in headspace, in there to upset you. I just wonder if other women feel the same way, and that's why you're having so much trouble, if maybe you, and the women you're speaking to, are in it for different reasons, and, so, are headed in 2 different directions. Even if that's the case, common ground can be found, just give them time to feel adult enough to play the partner card, and, learn to spot the things that throw them into, "Holy Crap, so tiny right now!"

That's a 2-way street. They should be capable of adulting long enough to give you what you need, too.
 
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
DiaperedRider, just so you know, I didn't put that part about what was painful to me, in headspace, in there to upset you. I just wonder if other women feel the same way, and that's why you're having so much trouble, if maybe you, and the women you're speaking to, are in it for different reasons, and, so, are headed in 2 different directions. Even if that's the case, common ground can be found, just give them time to feel adult enough to play the partner card, and, learn to spot the things that throw them into, "Holy Crap, so tiny right now!"

That's a 2-way street. They should be capable of adulting long enough to give you what you need, too.


Oh I'm not upset at all. I think I gave the wrong impression somehow. My long term relationships were never centered around diapers at all. As a matter of fact I have never ever worn one with my recent ex but she did wear Always Discreets occasionally and also was a bit of a bedwetter and she knew that turned me on but there was a communication problem, not on my part but on hers. I was, and still am very open about everything and I never cheated and never drank so there was absolutely nothing to cloud up working on the relationship in any way. For some reason she felt that every relationship is not supposed to take work and it should be like a Hallmark movie every day. She just moved to another state last week and I am bummed about it but what can you do. I just wanted her to come to me and say that she is willing to do whatever it takes to be happy. I have many female friends who are just that, friends and many are lifelong and also friends of my ex. They agree with me that my ex is hard headed. Before she left I told her about me liking to wear diapers and she is totally fine with that and still loves me. Basically she has insecurity issues and needed more from me emotionally that wasn't very realistic so it was hard to keep her happy. She needs to make herself happy.

So I am just frustrated that's all. I would just like to find someone who I can be myself with and understands what being an ab/dl is. So I have it totally under control but I did suppress it for 6 years and tried my best to ease into telling her. That was my fault. I still felt a bit uncomfortable because I also have my masculine side. I was her knight in shining armour and didn't want her to think I had a weak side but I now know that liking to wear diapers is not weak at all and I accept that this will always be part of me.

I hope that helps you guys understand a little about what I was trying to say. I just want to find someone where I can be myself but at the same time we need to be compatible in the other important areas. That is very important for when those tough times in a relationship arise and they always do. I want someone that I can work with. That's all.
 
DiaperedRider said:
Oh I'm not upset at all. I think I gave the wrong impression somehow. My long term relationships were never centered around diapers at all. As a matter of fact I have never ever worn one with my recent ex but she did wear Always Discreets occasionally and also was a bit of a bedwetter and she knew that turned me on but there was a communication problem, not on my part but on hers. I was, and still am very open about everything and I never cheated and never drank so there was absolutely nothing to cloud up working on the relationship in any way. For some reason she felt that every relationship is not supposed to take work and it should be like a Hallmark movie every day. She just moved to another state last week and I am bummed about it but what can you do. I just wanted her to come to me and say that she is willing to do whatever it takes to be happy. I have many female friends who are just that, friends and many are lifelong and also friends of my ex. They agree with me that my ex is hard headed. Before she left I told her about me liking to wear diapers and she is totally fine with that and still loves me. Basically she has insecurity issues and needed more from me emotionally that wasn't very realistic so it was hard to keep her happy. She needs to make herself happy.

So I am just frustrated that's all. I would just like to find someone who I can be myself with and understands what being an ab/dl is. So I have it totally under control but I did suppress it for 6 years and tried my best to ease into telling her. That was my fault. I still felt a bit uncomfortable because I also have my masculine side. I was her knight in shining armour and didn't want her to think I had a weak side but I now know that liking to wear diapers is not weak at all and I accept that this will always be part of me.

I hope that helps you guys understand a little about what I was trying to say. I just want to find someone where I can be myself but at the same time we need to be compatible in the other important areas. That is very important for when those tough times in a relationship arise and they always do. I want someone that I can work with. That's all.

Well it it from this girl, you have taken the first step. You aint ever going to be comfortable with someone else if you aint comfortable with yourself.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top