Going to live in a nursing home?

Hi!

I just joined this site and posted an introduction and thought I could also try asking for your advice/opinions.

My problem is that I have pacifiers, pacifier clips, a huge bottle, a pillowcase full of toys, bodies, a few diapers, puzzles... And I don’t know how to save them.

I might have to move to a mentally ill people’s nursing home for some time. It’s not sure, it’ll be decided next week. My stuff would be stored in my parents’ house. It’s not a problem, except the little things. I don’t want to throw them away!

Should I pack the little stuff in a huge rubbish bag and tell it’s my very very secret bag my parents are not allowed to open? Or should I try to smuggle everything into the nursing home? Or maybe I should smuggle some things?

It would be nice to have some little things with me in the nursing home. Maybe they would understand bodies if I say they are pajamas which make you sleep like a baby, as if it were kind of a joke? And a paci might be easy to hide amongst clothes. But one thing’s for sure: I will take my best friend, my loyal plushie with whom I sleep every night. I can’t live without him.

I don’t know how my parents would react if they opened the bag. But definitely not well. Most likely they’d think I’m a pedophile or something.

Does anyone have experience about living in a nursing home and having little items there? What happens if they are found?

-Lumi

I"m not sure what a nursing home would do, but I'm sure you're aloud to bring a number of personal item. Space would be a problem. If you have a doctor or a social worker, you might ask them.

Although not an AB, my dad was in a care facility for four months. He shared a room with another guy and everything he owned had to be marked with his name. We found this out the hard way when his walker disappeared the first night! He used a wheel chair from then on.

Anyway, the point is, you will not have much privacy. You are not allowed back in your room during the day while they change your sheets and clean your room. I'm guessing you will be sharing a room? Is there a common area? Might be similar.

The residents were allowed to decorate their room any way they wanted with pictures, knickknacks, etc. Their night stand was private but the Alzheimer's patients were know to go through each other's stuff.

As for leaving things at home, do your parents go through your things? Try and hide it best you can. Without getting too personal, can you tell them that you need to take those things with you because of whatever conditions you have? Like to make you feel better or give you security?

I hopefully wouldn’t have to share a room. Most nursing homes here seem to have own room for everyone. Then there would be common areas too. But indeed, they might want to go through my stuff to make sure I don’t bring knives etc which could be used for self-harming. Maybe I shouldn’t take pacifiers etc ”very weird”.

I don’t know about my parents... Probably they’d respect my wishes and not look what’s in the bag. If I say they’re ”nonsexual fetish things”, that should make them stay away from it. Or would it make them more curious?

I think I should put an explaining note in the bag just in case my parents get too curious. It’d explain what ABDL is, that this isn’t sexual for me and that I’m not interested in real kids in any way.

Maybe I should first check what kind of system the nursing home has and then smuggle something from a holiday at my parents’.

At least my favourite plushie can be explained by telling he’s my best friend and he gives me feelings of security and comfort so I don’t have to worry about that. Autistic traits and mental illnesses give me permission to be a bit ”odd”. One of the good things about being ill.

Don't take anything you would miss if it was stolen. It's likely your bag would be searched for items that might harm you or others, drugs, bladed articles etc, maybe they'll help with your plushie though, as it's that special, keeping him in a locked room with the staff for example. Please try and be open with your parents, they may well look through your stuff out of concern for you if nothing else, wish we were nearer I would have been happy to store stuff for you,,,

Difficult situation. I can think of a few options:

- do you have a car? You could hide your stuff in the trunk.
- you could hire a locker somewhere if you have the money.
- is there a way to smuggle a bag in your parents' home and hide it there, before you store your other things with them?
- you could hide your stuff in a box beneath/below other, very uninteresting, items.
- taking your bodies with you to the nursing home shouldn't be a problem. I don't think someone will notice the peculiar nature of the clothing when they search your bag.
- definitely bring your plushie, you will need him. I don't think the staff will think it's weird. Approximately one third of adults still have a plushie (at least in the Netherlands that is).

Good luck!

I don’t have a car, so no hiding there. I don’t think we have any lockers nearby. I can’t travel alone by bus, my parents take me from place to place so smuggling in advance is not possible, they’d notice the extra bag/box. Hiding the stuff below uninteresting things might work.

Hi Lumi,
If you don't mind me asking.
Why might you have to go to a nursing home? I understand that you're a bit autistic, and have other issues, but that shouldn't be the only reason for it. There are a lot of people with such disabilities that get by ok.

Lumi said:

Hi!

I just joined this site and posted an introduction and thought I could also try asking for your advice/opinions.

My problem is that I have pacifiers, pacifier clips, a huge bottle, a pillowcase full of toys, bodies, a few diapers, puzzles... And I don’t know how to save them.

I might have to move to a mentally ill people’s nursing home for some time. It’s not sure, it’ll be decided next week. My stuff would be stored in my parents’ house. It’s not a problem, except the little things. I don’t want to throw them away!

Should I pack the little stuff in a huge rubbish bag and tell it’s my very very secret bag my parents are not allowed to open? Or should I try to smuggle everything into the nursing home? Or maybe I should smuggle some things?

It would be nice to have some little things with me in the nursing home. Maybe they would understand bodies if I say they are pajamas which make you sleep like a baby, as if it were kind of a joke? And a paci might be easy to hide amongst clothes. But one thing’s for sure: I will take my best friend, my loyal plushie with whom I sleep every night. I can’t live without him.

I don’t know how my parents would react if they opened the bag. But definitely not well. Most likely they’d think I’m a pedophile or something.

Does anyone have experience about living in a nursing home and having little items there? What happens if they are found?

-Lumi

Click to expand...

I myself have Adult Baby/Littles items.
Yes, I myself am Autistic and I also have Cerebral Palsy.
I have never been in a Group Care Home.
I am on my own, with my younger non-disabled brother who watches over me at my age of 60.
My brother lets me have all my own stuff here in my bedroom, my living space and comfort zone.
He knows and understands why I am an Adult Baby/Little.
He lets me quietly play when I need to.
Of course, I have my adult responsibilities, which I perform independently.

Why not just be somewhat open about being abdl? Bring those few things you really want with you, and keep them in your room. Store the rest with your parents. When someone asks, just be honest, open, and frank about it. As long as you don't make a big secretive deal of it, then it won't be.

Though it sounds lile you might want to do a little personal research first. You already confused nonsexual with fetish (all fetishes are sexual in nature, and abdl is most certainly not a fetish).

Slomo said:

Why not just be somewhat open about being abdl? Bring those few things you really want with you, and keep them in your room. Store the rest with your parents. When someone asks, just be honest, open, and frank about it. As long as you don't make a big secretive deal of it, then it won't be.

Though it sounds lile you might want to do a little personal research first. You already confused nonsexual with fetish (all fetishes are sexual in nature, and abdl is most certainly not a fetish).

Click to expand...

I guess I’ll do as you suggest. Nurses have surely seen weirder stuff, it’s a place for mentally ill people after all.

Wikipedia says paraphilic infantilism is a fetish and that adult babies are part of that, that’s why I got confused when I looked for definitions. So ABDL is not a fetish, it’s just a... What should I call it? Hobby? It’s definitely not about sex in my case, true.

Lumi said:

I guess I’ll do as you suggest. Nurses have surely seen weirder stuff, it’s a place for mentally ill people after all.

Wikipedia says paraphilic infantilism is a fetish and that adult babies are part of that, that’s why I got confused when I looked for definitions. So ABDL is not a fetish, it’s just a... What should I call it? Hobby? It’s definitely not about sex in my case, true.

Click to expand...

Yes, and 20 years ago the medical community referred to abdl as a sexual deviation which needed to be cured. 50 years ago, and it was a disease which needed to be cured by lobotomy. For true clarity, all you need to do is look at a few definitions.

While the definition of being a paraphilia is closer, the medical community (and wiki/society) obviously has further to go before understanding what abdl even really is. That of which I blame our own community for not understanding it either. Case in point, paraphilias are sexual in nature.

As to that, AB is an adult who wishes to pursue the experiences and feelings a baby feels, often as a means to relax or sestress, nithing sexual about that. DL is someone who quite literally loves to wear diapers. In this regard, it is a type of compulsion just as any other type of love is. And while love most certainly can/does include sex, it isn't based on sex.

Take note that neither of these have anything to do with a basis of sexuality. It is a part of who we are somewhat similar to how being gay isn't based on sex, but based on being who that person is. Paraphilia doesn't apply to gays any mire than it applies to abdl- by simple definiton.

Though of course, there is also where diapers are based on sexuality. This sexual diaper fetish (SD for short) is where people wear solely for sexual release, and is often required to even achieve that release in the first place. It can be part of a very health sex life, but is a paraphilkia best left to themselves (and significant others) and kept behind closed doors.

KawaiiBabyjenni said:

Hi Lumi,
If you don't mind me asking.
Why might you have to go to a nursing home? I understand that you're a bit autistic, and have other issues, but that shouldn't be the only reason for it. There are a lot of people with such disabilities that get by ok.

Click to expand...

Sorry for not answering sooner, I forgot:wallbash:

I have troubles with starting things and I’m too depressed to do much. I’m not able to cook or clean the house without help. I take the rubbish out once a week because I’m too tired to leave the flat. I get self harming/suicidal urges. I’m scared of being alone because I fear I get a bad moment and kill myself on purpose or by accident. I get restless and anxious. I forget to take my meds sometimes and thus sleep poorly. And my moods don’t like forgetting meds either... I have stopped going to day activity centre, I just have no energy anymore. I don’t leave home unless I absolutely must. I don’t do anything besides lying on my bed with a plushie or doing stuff with my tablet. I can barely take care of hygiene. I am absolutely hopeless and tired of everything. I have kind of given up, I don’t have energy to pretend to be somewhat happy/healthy anymore.

I haven’t properly played with my toys for months, I only cuddle a plushie, wear a diaper&body and suck a paci. I do miss my playtimes. I haven’t even drank a bottle for a month since I should wash it afterwards and I’m too tired to do that.

I hope being in a nursing home will help me feel better. At least they will take care of my basic needs like eating and keeping my room tidy, make sure I don’t hurt myself and force me into some activity every day. And whenever I need to talk someone will be there to help.