So few Females

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I second (or is third or moreth by now?) the general notion that there is a lot more women involved in these communities than it seems. I too have been nudged towards CG/LG DDLG sites in the past, told that my tendency for regression and it being more about age stuff than diapers is more at home there, and it's true you'll find a much different scene. Very female heavy.

I'm still around mostly because I still feel out of place in both communities, honestly. The unfortunate aspect of stuff is that those sites even quicker fall into "dating site" problems for me, where I can't have chats without pushing away prospective daddies who don't understand my age-playing is a real sensitive, meaningful, impact thing to me and something that has to be approached like that. Not just this "oh you can turn me into Little Girl Bot Beep Boop" and objectify me.

Ultimately the site was made with a DL focus, people interested in fetishistic play with diapers, and that's the sort of community it encouraged. Sure there are people who are here because the stuff they like is adjacent to it, or maybe they dabbled in it a little, or maybe some of their friends are too. Obviously you have spaces open to others, and that's a start. But ADISC is what it is. That doesn't have to be a bad thing it just is what it is.

If the idea of this site being male focused bothers you, please listen to the female voices in this thread. You won't find a better source of information on what they are looking for.
 
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Someone fill me in on lingo. CG=cis-gendered? And, if so, what's that mean? Forgive me for not knowing? I'd hate to get a meaning like that wrong. Y"know?
 
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Someone fill me in on lingo. CG=cis-gendered? And, if so, what's that mean? Forgive me for not knowing? I'd hate to get a meaning like that wrong. Y"know?

Caregiver. Sorry. Just a gender neutral term instead of DD "Daddy-dom".
 
gigglemuffinz said:
Caregiver. Sorry. Just a gender neutral term instead of DD "Daddy-dom".
Ohhhhhhkay, well, now I feel silly. Of course, I am silly, so it's not a departure. Good to know.
 
dogboy said:
Also, a lot of women don't like getting sexually hit on my male creepers, often found on diaper sites, sadly.

This is huge.

Also, in the diaper communities I have been a part of, I have experienced a greater inclination to a lot of the things that I hate about "normal" communities. I multiple diaper communities, I often get beat down for speaking up, talking about my concerns.

I get told that my enjoyment doesn't matter, over and over. (Usually guys who did not read my profile, and do not realize that I have zero interest in men.) So often, I get messages saying, "Will you be my mommy? I have a doo doo in my diapee." Or some crap like that. I have always made it clear that I have zero interest in age play, etc...

However, when I have pushed back against that, I get shamed, I get told I should be more supportive of people, because in our world that is what women are supposed to do. Support men. Rarely do they use that language, but every women who reads this knows exactly what I am talking about.

To top it off, women are treated like objects... people don't try and talk to me because they want to talk to me. (A few do.) Most talk to me because they want to see pics of me in a diaper. A few justify it as saying they want to make sure they are actually talking to a girl, which is bull, as I aint going to have sex with a dude, ever... so the only reason for them to confirm if have lady bits is because they want to sexualize me. (I get enough crap like that on my YouTube channel and Twitch.)

So, I lurk, and keep my head low most places, and when I feel safe, I pop out of the shell. Every time I have popped out, I have come to regret it though. I probably wont post again here, but this thread gave me an opportunity to talk about some of these issues.

You want more women in these communities? Start respecting the women you already have.
 
It amazes me that in the recent age of MeToo, a good part of the internet just doesn't get it. There are too many people on social media and on line sites that have no understanding that other people have feelings and also, boundaries. They just go on like it's 1950 in the business office and worse. I suspect they're not very bright.
 
Kinsy said:
You want more women in these communities? Start respecting the women you already have.

Well said!
 
:educate:In Lakota, there are 4 different dialects in the same family. (Dakota, Nakota and Lakota are three nuanced phrases but in English it comes out only one, "we speak to each other as family") but within the family there are terms and nuances, 1) a man speaking to a man 2)a man speaking to a woman, 3) a woman speaking to a man and 4)a woman to a woman. And a "third" gender for men who live as women. This only sounds complex, English is a minefield by comparison. And within each culture I've encountered for more than a few days, there ARE some spectacular nuances in how each speaks to another. If a woman calls a man or a child of any gender "Sweetie" it's got a very maternal way to babytalk. If a woman calls another woman Sweetie it has an edge to it. A man who considers himself very masculine would probably never use it. It's Tabu.

He probably wouldn't want to be called Sweetie in public. Because either he is insecure or he has a real danger signal from other dudes who think it's "mushy" for a start and goes all the way to physical conflict. That just prepares us to the next course of this linguistic feast.

In physical, especially Neuro-Psychic terms, Males are more dominated to graphic portrayals, literally "draw me a picture". while women are more verbal and prosaic writing and the effect is as intense as graphic imagery is for males. Again, we'd have to say "most" males or females and as it gets more complex we'll probably have to figure a common nuance for both. I get this from the fringes of BioFeedback and hypnosis research. If it sounds weird it probably is. Then there's the tactile languages, feelings expressed by, well, feeling. These theories come up from decade to decade, but it's often noted that man-oriented porn is graphic, and why Playboy AND Playgirl magazines are really man-oriented. More Stephens than Stephanies reading either one. Anyhow, probably those who are physically female at birth will understand these poor paragraphs better and faster than bio-males. But if auditory and visual sensations are that weighted so differently, it's probably true that Tactile sensations will have different neuro-psycho differences on both major genders.

When women get together they talk about their babies and when men get together they talk about sports or other things other men are doing. That's a southern U.S. proverb. And they're right. My sisters say that boys don't do as well as girls with potty training. And are more clingy and cry more.

This might make a framework for a more congenial discussion.
 
As a very specific variant of gender queer, I find these discussions about nuances of address fascinating.
 
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LittleSissieJolie said:
:educate:In Lakota, there are 4 different dialects in the same family. (Dakota, Nakota and Lakota are three nuanced phrases but in English it comes out only one, "we speak to each other as family") but within the family there are terms and nuances, 1) a man speaking to a man 2)a man speaking to a woman, 3) a woman speaking to a man and 4)a woman to a woman. And a "third" gender for men who live as women. This only sounds complex, English is a minefield by comparison. And within each culture I've encountered for more than a few days, there ARE some spectacular nuances in how each speaks to another. If a woman calls a man or a child of any gender "Sweetie" it's got a very maternal way to babytalk. If a woman calls another woman Sweetie it has an edge to it. A man who considers himself very masculine would probably never use it. It's Tabu.

He probably wouldn't want to be called Sweetie in public. Because either he is insecure or he has a real danger signal from other dudes who think it's "mushy" for a start and goes all the way to physical conflict. That just prepares us to the next course of this linguistic feast.

In physical, especially Neuro-Psychic terms, Males are more dominated to graphic portrayals, literally "draw me a picture". while women are more verbal and prosaic writing and the effect is as intense as graphic imagery is for males. Again, we'd have to say "most" males or females and as it gets more complex we'll probably have to figure a common nuance for both. I get this from the fringes of BioFeedback and hypnosis research. If it sounds weird it probably is. Then there's the tactile languages, feelings expressed by, well, feeling. These theories come up from decade to decade, but it's often noted that man-oriented porn is graphic, and why Playboy AND Playgirl magazines are really man-oriented. More Stephens than Stephanies reading either one. Anyhow, probably those who are physically female at birth will understand these poor paragraphs better and faster than bio-males. But if auditory and visual sensations are that weighted so differently, it's probably true that Tactile sensations will have different neuro-psycho differences on both major genders.

When women get together they talk about their babies and when men get together they talk about sports or other things other men are doing. That's a southern U.S. proverb. And they're right. My sisters say that boys don't do as well as girls with potty training. And are more clingy and cry more.

This might make a framework for a more congenial discussion.

I have never been in a conversation with other women where we talked about babies, when we were having them, etc... (Aunts excluded.) My conversations with women have been about TV shows, sports, the games we like playing, etc...

Just food for thought....
 
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Kinsy said:
I have never been in a conversation with other women where we talked about babies, when we were having them, etc... (Aunts excluded.) My conversations with women have been about TV shows, sports, the games we like playing, etc...

Just food for thought....

Brings my understanding up. Thanx! and I never got into the conversations, M or F, beyond a sentence or two. Mostly none. Listening is easier than talking.
One thing somebody else said, girls/women might have a physical discomfort when using a diaper. (?) And there's definitely a tabu against women talking about their reproductive/potty parts, habits etc... at least in the presence of boy critters.

And there's the relative anonymity about chat rooms that spills into forum. As far as I can see, the forum approach to conversation has a few factors limiting rudeness that chat blow right through. Peer Moderation is a big one. And in chat essentially nobody is going to even remember something written a few hours or even minutes afterward.
The notion of what you write in forum being read ten years later in the Wayback Machine should slow down some of the ruder aspects of chat.
and as always there's a matter of mutual prior consent.
 
LittleSissieJolie said:
Brings my understanding up. Thanx! and I never got into the conversations, M or F, beyond a sentence or two. Mostly none. Listening is easier than talking.
One thing somebody else said, girls/women might have a physical discomfort when using a diaper. (?) And there's definitely a tabu against women talking about their reproductive/potty parts, habits etc... at least in the presence of boy critters.

And there's the relative anonymity about chat rooms that spills into forum. As far as I can see, the forum approach to conversation has a few factors limiting rudeness that chat blow right through. Peer Moderation is a big one. And in chat essentially nobody is going to even remember something written a few hours or even minutes afterward.
The notion of what you write in forum being read ten years later in the Wayback Machine should slow down some of the ruder aspects of chat.
and as always there's a matter of mutual prior consent.

This may be an age difference, but I have never felt that I could not talk about my vagina, or my period, etc... but do men go up to strangers and say, "Yeah, my Penis has a weird itch, you know how to get rid of it?"

If anything, I would put money down that women are more likely to talk about their own reproductive health then men are, but we do it with close friends who we trust... simply because a stranger does not want to hear about your flow, or dealing with some of the secondary issues... so on so forth. So I don't think there is a taboo here. I do think that a lot of men turn off when they hear one of these conversations, and will rarely be involved in one anyways, because they lack a va-jay-jay and thus lack the prerequisite knowledge to know what the hell we are talking about, or contribute to the conversation.
 
Kinsy said:
This may be an age difference, but I have never felt that I could not talk about my vagina, or my period, etc... but do men go up to strangers and say, "Yeah, my Penis has a weird itch, you know how to get rid of it?"

If anything, I would put money down that women are more likely to talk about their own reproductive health then men are, but we do it with close friends who we trust... simply because a stranger does not want to hear about your flow, or dealing with some of the secondary issues... so on so forth. So I don't think there is a taboo here. I do think that a lot of men turn off when they hear one of these conversations, and will rarely be involved in one anyways, because they lack a va-jay-jay and thus lack the prerequisite knowledge to know what the hell we are talking about, or contribute to the conversation.

Yeah, cis men would be lost in a conversation about things vajayjay. Very, very lost. In a group of trusted friends though that topic can and does come up, sometimes in weird situations. "That was a great game. Oh, by the way, I'm having this thing with my vagene..." and then straight into it, like nothing is at all up with that segue.

(and now my brain has tried to set "I've got this thing with my vagene" to music. Why, brain? Is it the PMS?)
 
OmiOMy said:
Yeah, cis men would be lost in a conversation about things vajayjay. Very, very lost. In a group of trusted friends though that topic can and does come up, sometimes in weird situations. "That was a great game. Oh, by the way, I'm having this thing with my vagene..." and then straight into it, like nothing is at all up with that segue.

(and now my brain has tried to set "I've got this thing with my vagene" to music. Why, brain? Is it the PMS?)

I actually took part in a collab video about a year ago. We had a battle of the genders, five women vs five men in Ranbow Six Siege, all Twitch Streamers for an ExtraLife thing. The guys were all serious in there conversations, planning shit, and trying to win.

Meanwhile, on our side of the conversations... actual quotes:

"F*** me, why did I have be on my period this weekend..."

"F*** F*** F***er." "What's wrong?" "F***ing nail got in the way and I threw a grenade instead of planted the defuser...."

"So, yesterday I went to the doctor... he had the coldest freaking hands ever... I wasn't sure if it was the spoon in me, or his hands..."

"Come on, come on, kill me... I need to pee!!!!!!"

Answering the chat: "Of course we wipe our ass away from our vagina.... what kind of monster would wipe towards!"

"I tried one of those Hitachi magic wands... pornos make it look like a lot more fun than it really is...."

"Damn it, I have boob sweat marks on my shirt...."

Guys Team Quotes:

"They have a Fuse... shit, I died."

"Smoke in the objective!"

"They are peaking from the window.... god damn it, she sniped me again!"

"How are we so bad guys?" a few moments later, "Seriously, how are we losing, I just watched them for a minute and they are freaking talking about tampons while they are crushing us."

(The context about the tampon conversation was me bitching about why I couldn't get Tampax or something similar to sponsor my channel, (Sponsors normally send you free products.) because I was tired of buying the damn things... which led to us discussing our preferences for pads or tampons.
 
Andrewgdfw said:
@Kinsy:

I've heard this from a number of women who shy away from posting here and at other ab/dl oriented forums.

I can't argue your point, because it is unfortunately true. So many male behaviors and contact attempts are so sadly pretictable in the manner your describe.

It's really difficult to convey the concept of 'respect'. Wish I could wave some magic wand to improve the situation, but I can't.

A number of we guys cringe at the behaviors seen by other males who chose to 'present' here -- crotch shots and all. Even when we guys push back, we get shamed, too! (fancy that)

Your concerns ARE noted, Kinsy. They are just too often drowned out by those incontinent of vile verbal output.

If this makes any sense, I know a few other of us feel the same way and are equally disgusted by ill-adjusted and crass attitudes of those males. And I do use the term 'male' vs. 'man' for
good reason. In fact, I probably should use the term 'boy' to describe their juvenile attempts at 'hitting' on you.

If that makes any sense, them's MY thoughts.

Andrew.

It is not your responsibility to defend your sex. Just be a decent human being, and you will get along fine with me and many other women. I never look at my inbox, see a male name, assume the worse. I brace myself for it if I do not recognize the name, or there are other flags (No Avatar/Profile Pic... no posts, etc...) but I don't prejudge before I see the content.

So just be you. If you are a terrible human being, it will show and I will avoid ya, if you aint... I don't promise friendship but I will notice you are a decent person.
 
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as Andrew said, I also noticed the term "hitting on" has a really bad Freudian uummm... flavor to it. Of actually hitting somebody. Guys who bed-hop with a lot of women (because they don't have the courage and other attributes to actually please ONE) are called swordsmen or have 'conquests'. sex as a weapon.
 
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