Is it possible to get a non-ABDL to like wearing?

My boyfriend of 5 years now told me about his abdl side less than 2 years ago.At first im not gonna lie I was in shock and very upset about the fact that I was lied to and I felt like I didn't even know him..We didn't speak for about 6 months.I hated him every single day I couldn't stand to look at him I was being really closed minded and mean.I guess I was scared of what it would do to the relationship. I didn't want to argue with him he was my best friend of 5 years before we had even got together. I sat thinking everyday for a month and forgave him because I went on this site a did some digging and realized it wasn't as bad as I was making it seem.I realized that it wasn't so easy for him to tell me in the first place and I just made it harder for him to accept himself.I forgave him and apologized for being mean and not accepting him for who he was.After that for like another 3-4 months we talked about him being an abdl and what it was like and what he enjoyed about it,How it made him feel.Apparently he would wear in front of me and I had no idea.Eventually I accepted him for what he enjoyed doing I mean he wasn't hurting anyone and it was making him happy.My heart filled with joy knowing that he could be himself in front of me without being judged.I saw how happy it made him that I actually tried one on and enjoyed it even though months ago I was actually bothered by the subject.I wear diapers with him on occasion but im more into being the role of his mommy.But from coming from a person that was very close minded before I guess the answer to your question all depends on the person..I was willing to try it and at first I wanted nothing to do with diapers now im all for it,It was a good experience it actually brought us closer as friends and a couple.

I read quite a bit trying to understand this desire. I'm sure everyone here has, but I found an article that was done in London where the psychologist explained as a miss imprint during early formation years. It's going to sound odd, but it's akin to a hatching an egg and the chick assumes your their parent. Somehow during our development we associate diapers/diaper changing with affection, love and nurture. By having a wet diaper, it meant that mother was going to love and dote on us. I think it happens to babies when they are left alone for long periods of time. This can happen if there is another sibling younger or older that takes more of the parents time. I guess this is what made the most sense to me. I'm not a shrink, just a DL all my life. Anyone agree?

jay22250 said:

I read quite a bit trying to understand this desire. I'm sure everyone here has, but I found an article that was done in London where the psychologist explained as a miss imprint during early formation years. It's going to sound odd, but it's akin to a hatching an egg and the chick assumes your their parent. Somehow during our development we associate diapers/diaper changing with affection, love and nurture. By having a wet diaper, it meant that mother was going to love and dote on us. I think it happens to babies when they are left alone for long periods of time. This can happen if there is another sibling younger or older that takes more of the parents time. I guess this is what made the most sense to me. I'm not a shrink, just a DL all my life. Anyone agree?

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I think that makes sense, but how would that explain the sexual side of ABDL? I'm sure some of us were into that long before we knew anything about sexuality.

Honeywell6180 said:

I am very adamant that "liking" a diaper has more to do with a neurological condition, and may be linked to autism. You cannot expect someone who does not have a developmental disability to actually like something that is geared towards babies and people with disabilities. I just don't see how it can be made possible.

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I'm Aspergers and think you have a point, for me personally, I like regularity and wearing the same style diaper every day gives me some reassurance and comfort, I wear 24/7 btw. I also believe NTs are more inhibited about social interactions, we don't cope as well, so kinda withdraw into our own world sometimes, in which we don't embrace social norms as much. The social norm being not a DL lol. I don't think it's possible to get someone to like diapers if they're not inclined to do so, sure it's poss to persuade them to try it, they might even continue to please another, even if they aren't really into it,,, also imho, Aspergians can have a rigid view of what's good or not, eg I love wearing, this makes it a good thing, so everyone else should be DL as well lol. Eg2 - I don't like loud music so music should never be loud lol. Unless it's a song that I like of course!!!!

Pete67 said:

I'm Aspergers and think you have a point, for me personally, I like regularity and wearing the same style diaper every day gives me some reassurance and comfort, I wear 24/7 btw. I also believe NTs are more inhibited about social interactions, we don't cope as well, so kinda withdraw into our own world sometimes, in which we don't embrace social norms as much. The social norm being not a DL lol. I don't think it's possible to get someone to like diapers if they're not inclined to do so, sure it's poss to persuade them to try it, they might even continue to please another, even if they aren't really into it,,, also imho, Aspergians can have a rigid view of what's good or not, eg I love wearing, this makes it a good thing, so everyone else should be DL as well lol. Eg2 - I don't like loud music so music should never be loud lol. Unless it's a song that I like of course!!!!

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Loud, sudden noises or incompatible music are sensory components of an autism-spectrum diagnosis. I don't have Asperger's. I was properly diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified). It contains the lack of natural ability to read and respond in a social setting, and most of my interactions with others comes from rote memory, through trial and error. Plus, some coaching from friends. And then, of course, there are the sensory issues associated with my condition. I can't say I would blame an ABDL for not wanting a diagnosis. I am sure it would affect their pride and maybe their careers in some cases if test results turned up positive.

Yes this has happened. I have seen posts at fetlife by ABDLs who said their partners started out as vanilla and then they introduced them to diapers and they decided to try it. I also knew someone in real life and his ex wife was vanilla and she also got into diapers too from him. I don't know if she still does it.

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Honeywell6180 said:

I don't know if you are familiar with the autism spectrum. But, there is one neurological component that has to do with sensory processing. Not everybody on the autism spectrum is exactly alike. I have been reading so much on the so-called "neurodiversity" movement, that one would think of autism as a gift, or something desirable to have. I am on the autism spectrum, and I'm afraid I don't see it that way. I am sorry to admit I have a sensory processing disorder coupled with the autism I'm afflicted with.

Like anybody else on the spectrum, I am not normal. Normal means the ability to have a close relationship, please someone else, have and wear garments that fit the social norms, and build a family with someone who is considered "significant". But I can't even touch human skin without feeling offended, so for me, that's off limits. Hate on me all you want, but I do believe that a sensory processing disorder would have more to do with the "desire" to wear diapers because of the pressure and heat they apply, which blocks off some environmental stimuli. I am betting that this is why I read so many stories here, about how people "are more calm and function better" in a diaper than not. People want to be "normal" and honestly don't want to be linked with autism, because they feel insulted. I understand. I really do.

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Well I was diagnosed as having a SPD as a kid and I enjoy the feeling of a diaper and I consider myself as liking them. I remember I enjoyed it very much as a toddler too and then I decided to quit wearing them and I was easy to toilet train all of a sudden.

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Honeywell6180 said:

Loud, sudden noises or incompatible music are sensory components of an autism-spectrum diagnosis. I don't have Asperger's. I was properly diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified). It contains the lack of natural ability to read and respond in a social setting, and most of my interactions with others comes from rote memory, through trial and error. Plus, some coaching from friends. And then, of course, there are the sensory issues associated with my condition. I can't say I would blame an ABDL for not wanting a diagnosis. I am sure it would affect their pride and maybe their careers in some cases if test results turned up positive.

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My husband won't even get tested for it because he is afraid he will have something else wrong with him. To him a label means having another thing wrong with him but another part of him says he doesn't have it so it would be a waste of time to get tested to have it ruled out but he is afraid what if it turned out positive. Plus he doesn't need another diagnoses because what would it do? He already has enough disorders and medical issues and he already gets disability so what other support would he need? He is doing fine.

Jerry Springer and his ilk did a spectacular job of advertisement for diapers by being (or his fans being) obnoxious haters who want to ridicule anybody, and the AB guys, mostly, but some ladies, did an even better job of explaining. People who started out hating got a light bulb over the head moment and thought "gee, that looks like fun!"

Treating diapers as a perversion helped people to question the assumptions, especially if they came from the haters. A boomerang effect.

jay22250 said:

I found an article that was done in London where the psychologist explained as a miss imprint during early formation years.

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Definitely agree with this part.

jay22250 said:

I think it happens to babies when they are left alone for long periods of time. This can happen if there is another sibling younger or older that takes more of the parents time.

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Don't agree with this part. I can't say for sure what made me a DL originally (before I became IC), but I was an only child and given all the attention I could ever have. I was told though that I was potty trained early, but had to go to the hospital for respiratory problems and was put in a diaper, despite being told I was potty trained. As a result, I had a diaper fetish AND a medical fetish borne of that occurrence I'd guess.

As far as the original post, though... introducing someone to something they may not initially like, but do end up enjoying is nothing nefarious. One might even say it's beneficial to enjoy more things in life! That said, you just introduce someone to all the things you like about whatever it is you want to introduce, and don't cram it down their throat, let them try it on their own. Of course, they have to be open to the idea of trying new things obviously. I introduced a girlfriend to whiskey this way, she didn't like it originally, now she loves it!