I told one of my best friends!!!

So recently I've been wanting to tell my closest friend about this side of me. We've grown up together, and gone to school together from when we were both toddlers, all the way through to even attending the same college, and now we're joining the same fraternity. So with all our history, and with the upcoming events we are gonna share as well, I didn't want to have this big secret kept from him anymore, so Monday night I called and arranged for him to come over after roller skating with some friends so we could have a "kinda serious and awkward talk". I probably shouldn't have called it that over the phone but I was nervous and it kinda just came out that way. I told him not to worry, and I'd explain the following night.

So fast forward to post-roller skating, and he actually asked if I could drive him between our apartments, to which I said yes, but it made me really nervous to think that should this conversation not go well, I'm now facing a VERY awkward drive to drop him back at his place.
To be honest, that was the first time I had been nervous all day. I'd read the posts on here about "coming out", thought of what I wanted to say, and bounced some ideas off a friend from here (shout-out to Shadow456!!), so I was feeling suprisingly confident, even through the nervousness of the car ride. That is until we both walked into my apartment. I immediately got antsy and my heart was kinda racing. I offered him some sweet tea, and we just sat around (well he sat, I stood haha) talking and eating for a bit.
After about an hour, I finally worked the nerve up to initiate the conversation, figuring that if I didn't then, I'd just blow off the opportunity and never try again.

So I started by saying that this was gonna be really awkward for me and asked him to just bear with me, and prefaced the conversation by saying this obviously had to stay between us, and the only reason I was telling him was because I trusted him so much. He was like "I doubt anything you say would shock me, so just say it" and then I said, "Just give me a minute and you'll understand why this is so nerve wracking"
Then to begin the actual "coming out" part of coming out I just said I had this side of myself I'd been keeping secret for years, and that I liked to kinda act like a kid in my free time. He didn't quite understand what I meant so I then went deeper and said that I like to also do "babyish" things to relax. He started to see where I was going with this, so I listed off a few things; I started light with saying I like to color, and use a sippy cup, and his reaction was fairly calm, so I proceeded to then mention a pacifier and sleeping with stuffed animals, again fairly calm, so then I was like "and I like djapers" and boom just like that it was out in the open.
It was quiet for a sec but he didn't freak out, I broke the silence by saying "Oh my gosh I just told another human being!" And harped on the awkwardness and apologized. I also thanked him immensely for not freaking out, and from there we kinda discussed a little more in depth what I meant.

I didn't tell him everything I do, but I said this is almost a meditative way for me to relax and is something I hated about myself for a long time, but that's changing. We talked about how it affected me in the past and how I'm trying to make it a "normal" part of my life that doesn't constantly drag me down or keep me from my friends. We talked a lot about how this played into my personal and faith life as well, and he said it explained a lot actually about why I usually am afraid to open up and reserve myself from talking about anything considered "emotional" or "deep". He also agreed it was a great idea to tell at least one person about this so it doesn't keep such a tight hold on my life, and was great ful that I trusted him enough to be that someone (he said he felt like he must be doing something right if that was the case, to which I agreed). He also said if I ever needed to talk about it again, he's open to listening. Obviously he won't join in and I'm not gonna do anything related to AB/DL around him, I made sure to stress this is a deeply private thing, but he's willing to help me make it just another part of my life.

So all in all it went so much better than I ever thought it could, we had some good laughs about it, I personally got a huge weight off my shoulders, and he is still one of my best friends, if not the best friend I have and I'm so grateful.
Thank everyone here as well, without this site I'd have never had the help, encouragement, and insight to ever make this possible. Thank you!

I'm glad it went so well for you!

I've been thinking about telling a friend myself, but I've been short on courage.

I'm kinda jealous.

Congrats for coming out! Looks like you have a great friend that didn't have any problems with it!

Congratulations dude! It's so liberating to have someone else who knows about it and with whom you can talk about it. I wish you two all the best in your frat.

well done. I know it is difficult to open up.

Hey, good for you! That was a very brave thing to do. And you did it with a close friend you trusted so it was a risk but a calculated "risk" which was very smart. I know what it's like to tell someone the first time - you've kept it secret to that point so it goes against all your self-programming to not say anything. This was probably one of the best, healthiest things you could have done.

Be well.

I told my best friend probably 10 years ago. Recently we were talking on the phone and he asked me how things were going on ADISC. He's just one of those wonderful persons.

That's really great to hear and a big step towards self-acceptance

I have told all of my closest friends and even some that aren't so close and they all understood and accepted this side of myself to some degree. Like you, I told them what this side of myself means to me and I tried to explain it in a well-thought out way without going into the nitty-gritty, this method often works best. Some of my close friends don't even mind if I wear around them. Accepting yourself is a great thing, but having people who know of this side of you and who accept you for you also helps in becoming more comfortable and happy as an AB.

I'm really glad you told and I am glad things worked out. With one friend down, you should have no trouble explaining this side of yourself to any other friends or even future partners.

Thank you guys so much for the kind responses and congratulations! Like I said, I couldn't have done it without yall.
I definitely feel like I'm in a new stage of life in some ways now, I almost can't believe it actually happened! I'm tempted to call my friend actually and ask if it really did haha.

Glad I could help, I'm happy that things turned out so well between you two!

RompingBulbasaur said:

Thank you guys so much for the kind responses and congratulations! Like I said, I couldn't have done it without yall.
I definitely feel like I'm in a new stage of life in some ways now, I almost can't believe it actually happened! I'm tempted to call my friend actually and ask if it really did haha.

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I am very happy for you RompingBulbasaur! The only one I have ever told was my (now ex) girlfriend whom I deeply trusted. But it was nerve wrecking, I remember almost every detail of that moment, despite that it happened more than ten years ago. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you.

So now you know how to do it: who's next?

Good stuff RompingBulbasaur, it's a particularly hard thing to divulge to people because you really don't know how they will react. But from this thread and others it seems people don't have the automatic revulsion the media seems to try and imply is normal.

I remember coming out as gay about 10 years ago and probably about half my friend group just straight up ghosted, it wasn't always the ones I would have guessed either. Your generation seem to really have a good handle on accepting peoples differences, which is great.

That said, your mate sounds like a really awesome dude. It takes a decent person to be so reassuring and positive when something like this is revealed, then again he might have thought you were going to try and sell him a timeshare and just been relieved that wasn't happening. Particularly because there is so little honest info out there in the public sphere you never know what misconceptions people may have. But by doing what you and others are doing, that will change. I remember just 10 years ago the concept of gay marriage was considered wacky, even in the gay community. But with enough people coming out that the silent majority could identify with, the shift in opinion happened in a way that left even most of us gay astounded. Obviously abdl is a bit different, but the same mechanism for acceptance is there.

If I could give you a little bit of advice, well two little bits take it or leave it. There are some aspects of diaper play that people who aren't into it are always gonna find a bit distasteful, I wouldn't go into too much detail unless he asks. That's probably a good idea in general anyway, no one wants to hear the detail of their friends sex life, it's usually at best boring and at worst terrifying. I have a friend who used to launch into these detailed play-by-plays and it was terrifying, but that could just be me, i find straight sex pretty - well unnatural, let's leave it at that.

The other thing is try and repay the favor, like actively. I had a conservative friend who was completely ok with me coming out. It was only years later that it clicked that I had pretty much trashed this guys opinions for years just because I didn't agree with them and they weren't progressive. In hindsight I should have been supportive of his point of view. It was so cringy when I realised that, luckily he's a christian so he had to forgive me or he'd go to hell.

Anyway, in closing, I'm still trying to replace the people that left on the homophobe squad so DM me your buddies number, he sounds exactly what I'm after and you've already done the hard work with that, might be a good fit.

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oh, also, so you kids go roller skating? There are roller skating rinks again? It's not some hoverboard based thing with VR and holographic Prince?

We're talking about the same thing, where you put on roller skates, 4 wheels attached to a boot and go around and around a venue in time with cheesy 80's tunes.

Of all the things that could come back and be enjoyed by millenials, roller skating was pretty low on my prediction list.

That's a really terrifying moment.
Congratulations on your bravery!

It took years but I finally told my mom and all my friends. I even told my doctor.

Hey Mickeymic

I'm genuinely curious here, not being snarky. Why did you tell your Doc? Like was there a related health issue? What was the benefit in disclosing to a GP?