Etiquette for Sharing Space

Hi, I’m a DL with a history of adult nocturnal enuresis. It went away for several years but I just recently have had a few episodes where I woke up wet. I am traveling for business in the next couple of weeks, and have the opportunity to hang out and share a hotel room with an old friend from school. Money is tight for both of us, and we rarely get the chance to spend time together with family, kids, living in different parts of the country etc.
I already had my own place booked at a different hotel, but his is nicer and it would save both of us some coin if we paired up.

Anyways, I am wondering what the etiquette is regarding talking about these kinds of issues on a business trip or other roommate situation?

I don’t know if I will have any issue while on this trip, and of course I can’t think of a super tangible way that it would even affect him if I did! If I were staying alone, I would probably wear a diaper or for both protection and because I like them, without thinking about it. But in this case, it gives me pause. Notably, this friend is one of the few people in the world who knows about my ABDL side. He was and has been always very accepting of me.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on this? Or should I not say anything at all and just be super discrete, and prepare to be nonchalant and and dismissive if something were to come up? Should I call him up ahead of time and tell him about the issue and give him the opportunity to opt out of our plan? What language would you use for such a conversation? Is there another option that I am not seeing here? What do you all tend to do when you travel for business, Or even for pleasure and end up in close quarters.?

That can be a tough on. Most of it depends on how well you know him and how well you think he would react. My guess by what you have said is he will be understanding about it. I doubt you will be able to hide the fact you are in a diaper being in the same room with him, especially if it is plastic backed. If he already knows about your other side, it shouldn't be a shock to him. If I were you, I would call him or visit with him before and let him know before hand. That way if he does want to change his mind, you have time to make arrangements for another room. If he is ok with it, don't flaunt it in front of him. Try to keep it to yourself. Don't leave a diaper (clean or used)just laying around.
That's my thought.

Just try to hide the diaper under underwear, and if he says anything, just explain. most people will understand. just don't be blatant about wearing.

I've been in this situation, both them.

In either case, it's best to tell your bunk mate ahead of time. Be matter of fact about it, and just let thim know you will be discreete about it, but that you do need diapers. Trust me, it will feel awkward coming forward, but it will be way worse when (not if) that person figures it out. And when you're sleeping in the same room, they will find out.

Limit your diaper changes to in the bathroom only. And always wear something that will adequately cover your diaper. This is out of courtesy to them, but also alleviates you from worring about being accidentally exposed.

You are a DL and your friend knows. Personally I agree with the above opinions. Let him know you are having issues and will be wearing but will be discreet about it.

Thanks for your reactions, I’m eager to hear more.

How would you imagine bringing this up? What language would you use?
My natural tendency is to be overly serious about stuff, but it seems like in this case, being casual would be more useful...right?

cm90210 said:

1. How would you imagine bringing this up? What language would you use?

2. My natural tendency is to be overly serious about stuff, but it seems like in this case, being casual would be more useful...right?

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As for part 2 that's a little harder to recommend, because he's your friend you know him best. Be yourself.

Bow s for part 1. If it were me and you are my friend i imagine I would handle it like this.

In person privately. "CM9210, were going to be splitting a room on this coming trip. I feel I should let you know, just in case your not comfortable with it. I've been having problems at night holding my bladder and wetting the bed. I need to wear a diaper at night and I will be discreet. I just thought you should know, you still ok with it arrangement? Please don't share this with anyone."

That's just me taking to a friend who knew. You can re word this however you want but that's me. Now if it were a co-worker... I'd probably shell out for my own room because it's probably be mortified to say anything at this point because I'm still getting used to having to wear my self.

Been there, done that.

Don't mention it. Be discreet about it. Pack a back pack/bag with everything you need for bedtime (toothbrush, toothpaste, contacts case?, gym shorts and loose t-shirt, and diapers). Take the bag into the bathroom with you, shut the door, and emerge a few minutes later, ready for bed. Take trash bag for each diaper, and tie it shut before disposing of the diaper in the waste bin (be courteous to the maid).

IF something comes up, then talk about it. Chances are nothing will be said unless he discovers by accident (pun not intended) and he feels bad for you, or you screw up in a major way. And if something is said, just own it... I wet the bed. Then let him ask the questions. There comes a point when there is TMI. If he has questions, let him direct the conversation.

CheshireCat said:

Been there, done that.

Don't mention it. Be discreet about it. Pack a back pack/bag with everything you need for bedtime (toothbrush, toothpaste, contacts case?, gym shorts and loose t-shirt, and diapers). Take the bag into the bathroom with you, shut the door, and emerge a few minutes later, ready for bed. Take trash bag for each diaper, and tie it shut before disposing of the diaper in the waste bin (be courteous to the maid).

IF something comes up, then talk about it. Chances are nothing will be said unless he discovers by accident (pun not intended) and he feels bad for you, or you screw up in a major way. And if something is said, just own it... I wet the bed. Then let him ask the questions. There comes a point when there is TMI. If he has questions, let him direct the conversation.

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Thanks for your input and advice. I’m inclined, at least at first, to agree with you - it’s my default. I ask myself, “ok, how realistically could this affect my friend if we’re staying in the room together?”
And honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything...

I mean, right now, this isn’t a nightly issue for me...more episodic. It’ll happen once or twice in a row, and then not for several days, and then a few days in a row... When it was happening in my life before, however, it was nightly. This is why I plan on wearing a diaper on this trip no matter what; I dont’ want to wreck the bed at the hotel (and it doesn’t hurt that I like diapers either!)

Anyways, I can’t think of how it will affect my friend. We’ll have separate beds, we’re not sharing the same bed; we’re not like going to be snuggling or having sex lol, he’s my friend not my lover or whatever I would be very discrete, put them on in the bathroom, take them off in the bathroom, shower daily, etc. I’d wear clothing over them and only put it on when its time to go to bed, etc... I mean, I guess if I were to leave diapers in the room wet there could be an odor; but as far as I can tell, I dont stink, my stuff doesn’t stink, and I always put used diapers in plastic bags the same day, and dispose of them the same day. I mean, I suppose if I were to leak, there might be an odor that would affect him — in which case I’d have to come clean and tell him.

But if everything goes as normal, and as I expect it, he won’t know I’m wearing a diaper to bed anyways. So why tell him in the first place?

I guess it really hinges on common courtesy if the train were to come off the rails. If I have a major flood leak or my diaper were to fail, or if I were to have odor that I didn’t realize (*my wife is very sensitive to this and never complains btw) — then I could imagine him feeling trapped in a bad situation for the trip, coming back to me saying, “why the heck didn’t you tell me about it in the first place?” But even in that case, I could just get my own room.

Anyways, thanks for your continuing advice. I’m curious to hear anyone else weigh in.


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I guess aside from being naturally conscientious, I’m concerned because I’ve had a bad experience once - in a related scenario. Several years ago I shared a hotel room with a coworker I didn’t really know - as we traveled for a work assignment. We worked for a church so money was tight. When we got in the room, he told me about his IBS-D - and apologized for any inconvenience it might cause. And while I had compassion for his incontinence, it was profoundly unpleasant to spend a weekend cooped up in a small hotel room with him. He couldn’t help it, but the smell was horrendous. I wish I could have had the option to opt out ahead of time. I felt trapped.

In my situation, I can’t imagine creating similar discomforts. But I’d hate to do it inadvertently!!

Do what you can to prevent the train from coming off the rails. Don't over saturate yourself before bedtime, so you're less likely to wake up in a wet diaper. Don't purposely wet your diaper. Don't take ABDL print diapers. Simple, respectful steps.

I shared a room with mates before and worn a nappy to bed. Nothing was said. Good friends just won't care.

Maybe I miss read or didn't understand correctly. Didn't you say your friend knew you wore diapers already and was accepting of it? I understand wearing for fun is one thing, but for a need is another. ibs is different than urinary ic. Like dated above, stay hydrated and don't over soak, use the right one and everything should be fine wether you tell him or not.

Brsilva said:

Maybe I miss read or didn't understand correctly. Didn't you say your friend knew you wore diapers already and was accepting of it? I understand wearing for fun is one thing, but for a need is another. ibs is different than urinary ic. Like dated above, stay hydrated and don't over soak, use the right one and everything should be fine wether you tell him or not.

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Yes, my friend knows that I like to wear diapers -- and has been accepting. However, I have not worn diapers around him. I believe I may have told him years ago about my previous bout with bedwetting, but not about this current one... But even talking about it feels like a different thing than wearing diapers in the same small space!

I should say that this friend I will be staying with soon is different from the coworker with IBS I mentioned in my previous post.

cm90210 said:

Yes, my friend knows that I like to wear diapers -- and has been accepting. However, I have not worn diapers around him. I believe I may have told him years ago about my previous bout with bedwetting, but not about this current one... But even talking about it feels like a different thing than wearing diapers in the same small space!

I should say that this friend I will be staying with soon is different from the coworker with IBS I mentioned in my previous post.

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Oh, well that's different. If he already knows then there's no reason you need to bring it up again.

Still be discreete, change in the bathrooms, and always wear something over your diaper. Beyond that, don't worry about if he may or may not notice.

Hello again,
So I decided to just go ahead and talk to him about it. The more I thought about my prior negative experience with the coworker with IBS, the more I felt like it was the courteous thing to do. He took it in stride, was non-judgmental, and even curious about my thoughts regarding the cause. We ended up in a broader conversation about how health in the physical sense is impacted by our brains and mental health. Like I said before, we are close friends - close enough that he is one of the very few people in the world I have talked about my ABDL with - and he was accepting at the time. HIs reaction to this is not surprising, I just felt super awkward about it I think. I think we will wind up being closer friends for it.

Now all I have to worry about it is getting through airport security.


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Plenty of threads on air port security. Nothing to worry about, from what I understand dry diapers are darn near invisible on x-ray. You wouldn't be the first or the millionth to go through with diapers. Depending on your trip and what you wear you could buy locally.

@CM90210, thanks for the update! I've been watching this thread and was curious as to how things would turn out. Would love to see a follow up after the trip to see how it went.

I'm glad I came upon this thread, even though a few days late. I was actually just in a very similar situation a last night where I told an adult friend about my bedwetting and diapers. He didn't care at all and was respectful and non judgemental about it. He commended me for taking the steps to wear a diaper and keep my accidents as hygenic as possible.

The whole thing only came up because we both had quite a bit to drink and I ended up staying the night instead of trying to drive home. I was just like "so...since I'm staying here, there's something I need to tell you" and explained it all and that I was nervous about wetting his couch. Once he made it clear that it wasn't an issue I went to my car and got a diaper to put on. I did end up wetting...but at least not his couch! We had a brief conversation about it again this morning before I left and that was that. He has no reason to tell anybody so I know my secret is safe with him.

Bottom line is: true friends really couldn't care much about this kind of thing. Especially if you make an effort to keep it clean. And at least now I know I have a place I can stay if needed and not worry about wearing a diaper.

Boopa said:

I'm glad I came upon this thread, even though a few days late. I was actually just in a very similar situation a last night where I told an adult friend about my bedwetting and diapers. He didn't care at all and was respectful and non judgemental about it.

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Glad to hear and thanks for sharing. I sometimes have a difficult time predicting what “normal” is. I mean, I’m so accustomed to my own feelings around diapers (liking them)- and also the shame/embarrassment reaction to them that we teach little kids who are potty training, that its’ a challenge to know how normal, mature, kind, and thoughtful adults relate to needing them. In my experience so far, essentially every person I’ve had to tell about wearing diapers (either in regards to my DL side or in regards to my enuresis) has been discrete and empathetic about it. At some point, that reaction will cease to be surprising I’m guessing.

And for sure, to RedStripe, I’ll update you after I’m back from the trip.



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