Yearn to be diapered again

I've suppressed my DL side through 20 years of marriage, but am wearing a diaper tonight (sort of - see thread in Introductions). I yearn to wear a diaper again (and wet and poo, which I'm trying to do this very moment). But I don't think my wife (or children) would understand, even though it's totally harmless that brought me a great feeling of peace. Has anyone had similar experiences? I think about wearing diapers in secret. The odd thing is, I fantasise about my wife finding out. Perhaps I could start peeing in my underwear and suggest I start wearing incontinence pants, if only lightweight ones? Has anyone else experienced wives being understanding, or not, when they discovered their husbands' DL preferences? I ought to add that if my wife enjoyed dressing or behaving in any special way, I'd do all I can to support her.

Unfortunately, your willingness to tolerate your wife's behavior is seldom reciprocated ... at least, not in my experience. My wife is a healthcare professional; she told me well before we were married that she would not tolerate my infantilism. The fact that it's harmless fun makes no difference – my wife doesn't want to care for other people all week and care for me at night or on the weekend. I certainly understand that, but her refusal to even allow me to wear means I've had to play 'in secret' when she's gone.

In my own situation, having 'accidents' in my underwear would do no good; my wife would pack me off to see one of her colleagues straightaway. I have certainly thought about it, but the thought of being poked and prodded as doctors try to understand why I'm suddenly incontinent is too unpleasant for me to tolerate. When they finally told my wife they could find nothing wrong, she'd be furious with me.

I know firsthand that other women understand and support – even participate – but my wife never will. If you want your wife to 'find out,' my best advice is to tell her. Who knows? Perhaps after 20 years of marriage, she'll have an accepting attitude. Just don't expect it, and don't be hopeful for a positive outcome. Those seem to be rare where spouses are concerned.

There is a HUGE difference between expecting your wife to change your messy diaper, versus her being ok enough with you wearing around the house and changing yourself.

I've been married 15 years, and the my wife knew about my diapers before even that. She "tried" changing me just once in all that time, and didn't care for it. She simply does not participate in my diapers. And that's ok because she at least understands how important they are to me (I wear 24/7), and as such gives me the lee-way to wear and use them as I need.


Yfront, it is not right for you to hide this part of who you are from your wife. She has every right to know the full you. Good and bad. My advice is to tell her- but also make it very clear you do not intend for her to participate in any way (even if you really wish she would). Take it slow, but at the very least move forward. Tell her you are ashamed to hid this from her and it has caused you great stress all these years. You are simply hoping she will understand enough that you can wear a diaper every now and then- without fear of her finding out this time.

I don't know how common acceptance is from spouses but at least I would like to share my experience to provide an example of a more or less positive outcome.

I have been AB/DL since I was a young child and have gone through many phases where I would indulge my AB/DL tendencies followed by purges and periods of denial. Similar to yfront I have been married for 20 years and I have kids.

Recently I came to acceptance that my AB/DL side was a part of me that wasn't going to go away or something that I should feel ashamed or bad about. It happened when I was going through a period of severe depression after breaking my leg and having a very slow recovery. I was feeling really scared at being so depressed for such a long time and decided to see a therapist. The therapist started asking some very personal questions about me. She wanted to know about my marriage, my sex life and what I did for release since these seem to be common triggers of depression for people. While these questions made me very uncomfortable and I didn't answer at that point, it pushed me to revaluating things. Eventually I told the therapist about my AB/DL side. It turned out she was very aware of different fetishes and provided some reassurance that it wasn't as uncommon as I might think among people to have those types of associations.

So one night several months ago I worked up the courage to tell my wife that I needed to talk to her about something. I sat down with her and told her about my AB/DL side and how I had kept it hidden from everyone since I was a child. That it was something that was a part of me that had always been there even though she didn't know about it. It was a terrifying conversation but, in the end, she was understanding and accepting. She's definitely not into it herself but doesn't mind if I indulge as long as it doesn't impact the kids. These days usually I may wear overnight under my pajamas. I think my wife thinks it is a little odd, but this is balanced by our long history together, the fact that outside of this behavior I'm not any different than the person she married, and so overall it hasn't affected our relationship in a negative way. I don't expect it is something we'll ever do together but after 40 some years of enjoying this behavior by myself I'm ok with that. I have to say I'm much happier and more at peace after letting my wife know. I don't feel like I'm keeping some deep, dark secret anymore - that feeling of relief was priceless to me.

Thanks for thoughtful replies. It's a bit difficult to think about talking to my wife about my DL thing, as we're all going through a crisis at the moment and I don't want to add to her burdens. I would never want her to do anything, just accept me sometimes wearing diapers instead of ordinary underwear, and looking the other way when I did occasional wetting or messing.