Curious about crossdressing, seeking support

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Afterburner

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
I'm new to this community, but certainly not new to ABDL among other fantasies. I resisted posting here for a while, but I think now is a good time.

I'm in the beginning process of accepting my fetishes/fantasies, which I know takes time and has a lot of shame involved in it. I feel that the best way to reach that point is to start connecting with other people in the community.

The thought of wearing a ballerina outfit excites me to no end, among other women's apparel. I haven't tried it yet, but am very curious. For me I think it's something that just comes and goes, it's not with me 24/7. I don't feel any need to cross-dress in public, so I think that makes it easier.

On an intellectual level, I know there is nothing wrong with me. I'm aware that fetishes are not diseases and they are healthy to indulge in. On the other hand, there is still that underlying subconscious belief that I am somehow a freak and there is still a great deal of shame toward it. I am working on accepting myself and my fantasies.

The good news is, I know that these feelings of shame are very normal, and as I connect with other people, I will internalize the fact that I am not a freak and just another human being. Over time, I know that the shame will start to dissolve. It's just going to take time.

I think another thing is the fact that I have lots of different fantasies. I am single right now, but I have this fear that finding a girl who is going to accept diapers, bondage, and cross-dressing is going to be near impossible. I need to figure out what I need and what I am willing to live without.

Thanks for reading!
 
Hi Afterburner,
Thank you for your (extremely articulate!) openness and honesty here, hopefully it’ll help you get the responses you need.

I’m here because my (Male) partner (I’m female) is incontinent & sort of fell into DL, he’s just taken an interest in the more feminine diapers so going to be exploring that with him. I have my limits, he has his when it comes to my kinks/fantasies... so, yes, like you’ve said, knowing what you can do without is vital to any long term relationship.

I can completely see the appeal of a ballerina outfit, it’s incredibly well fitting and there’s such beauty to the shape, the shoes (the lace!). It’s such an elegant yet simple choice, I hope you manage to find one that does justice to the image in your head.

Good luck in your journey of exploration and I hope you find the shame as easy to overcome as possible!
 
You are not alone.

I don't have any suggestions for you as I don't think you really asked any questions.

I too am a cross-dresser and I have a plain pink ballerina outfit. Sometime this next year I will see if I can get something a bit more fancy.

Good luck!
 
Since this is a AB/DL forum perhaps you should consider CrossDressing 101 in BABY STEPS with little girls pink or pastel colored outfits diapers optional unless you can't control yourself
and get carried away. As you age or regress your outfits can change. You can start out with the basics for a modest cost and progress to more fancy frilly ruffled lacy embellished outfits
which may cause excitement in the nth degree. You of course will want to keep and do this in private at first. As you mature in your quest and graduate to panties and other lingerie pretties
perhaps skirts and or dresses may interest your development. With more adult items it maybe possible for you to wear pretty things under street clothes and pass in public as the
real life person you are. With a bit more practice and confidence wearing dresses skirts blouses as outer wear you may pass in public - but there is a whole lot more to this wearing
footwear heels boots flats and pantyhose tights leggings and adding sufficient volume in the front (think Bra) to balance the feminine look. Then there is make-up; nails; jewelry and hair-do
and you are only getting started down the yellow brick road. Put this all together and your next class in CrossDressing 102 begins.
Like the military slogan - "Be All You Can Be" !
 
You are in good company -
pobonline said:
Sir William Matthew Flinders Petrie is often called the "father of modern archaeology." He was the first surveyor to make accurate measurements of the pyramids on the Giza Plateau. He didn't carry a whip or wear a fedora while working on the plateau; instead he surveyed while wearing a ballerina's tutu!.
Click to expand...

I read that it was pink.
 
Amazon has a ton of stuff, but some of it is very cheap and undersized. Don't ask how I know this....sigh. Anyway, it's a big complicated world out there.
 
Thank you for the responses everyone! It is true that I didn't really ask any questions, I think it was just a matter of me opening up about my curiosities and getting something off my chest because I've never told anyone about this before.

I do want to ask though, can you guys list some of the steps you took to get over the shame and come to accept this part of you that has so much societal stigma attached to it? Was it just joining communities that made you realize you weren't alone? I know that a lot of people have the "who cares what other people think" attitude, but unless you're a sociopath, you're going to care to some degree.

I should mention too that I have no interest in going out in public cross-dressing. It's one of my less powerful kinks, if you will. It would just be a once in a while thing, strictly in the comfort of my own home.

One of the sites I found that I am liking so far is TheSissyStore.com. Any others that people would recommend? Thanks!
 
Afterburner said:
...I do want to ask though, can you guys list some of the steps you took to get over the shame and come to accept this part of you that has so much societal stigma attached to it? Was it just joining communities that made you realize you weren't alone? I know that a lot of people have the "who cares what other people think" attitude, but unless you're a sociopath, you're going to care to some degree.
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Hello Afterburner. You are quite right. I don't care what others think because I'm a sociopath. I became a sociopath at age thirty by spending a decade studying anthropology, sociology, psychology, philosophy, the history and philosophy of science, and, most importantly, mysticism and mental illness. I have been a highly moral sociopath for some thirty years now and I'm proud that I am because you have to be a sociopath in order to be free of your culture's socialisation (training).

I am not the slightest ashamed that I'm an asexual male lesbian, diaper loving, sissy, little because I'm 'twinky the magnificent'. You are 'Afterburner the magnificent' but you don't know that you are because you still believe the lies that your culture trained you to believe is the truth so that you would 'fit in' and, therefore, be understood.

My advice to you is to read 'William Blake the utterly Magnificent'.

I am here because this site if chock full of truly magnificent people who don't know just how magnificent they really are and it is my purpose in life to convince them of that fact. After all, why else would 'twinky the magnificent' be here?
 
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I really liked the honesty in this post, I found the best way of accepting my fetishes was to indulge in them, it was a really exciting journey of self-discovery,,,

Just a suggestion, but perhaps start exploring your feelings by wearing Lady Tena Discrete pull-ups? they look and feel like panties and are not obvious under pretty much any clothing, apart from microskirts,,,
 
Marka said:
Afterburner,

Well, some people are turned-on by the humiliation aspects of things, such-as cross-dressing... So, if that floats your boat or turns your crank - you're in business...

Your avatar floats my boat Marka Cupcake.

I suppose, that we all start out from a similar place - yes, finding communities of like-minded or at least very agreeable or, open-minded people, does help. I think that the key though, is to not compare yourself to others yet, glean from their experiences and perspectives - that you'll have a wider range of looking at things for yourself and; much like the tutus and heels... you just have to try some things out and, find what feels right, for you...

What felt so very right to me before I hit twenty was a navy blue tie-dyed peasant blouse and matching lightweight Summer skirt with black tights and pale blue Mary Janes.

Another thing too; you've got to be able to laugh and have a little fun with yourself - especially when experimenting. No-one is going to judge you, like you judge yourself. I think what sometimes (often?) happens is; in what or who, you thought, believed or, was told, that you were - comes this sort of step into the abyss sort of 'transition', while you're carrying the outdated instructions... Most of what you fear and feel; you do to yourself (unwittingly?)... particularly, when you're doing this by yourself, anyway...

That is some Marka gold right there.

This, is your gift... it's a new form of expression, for you now... don't be hasty or pressure yourself with should I-Shouldn't I... This is about you, first...

Hell, don't even worry about defining, what this is or isn't - explore and enjoy... If you do too much at once, back-off a bit next time... If you didn't quite get something out of it... bump it up a notch... Explore, discover and enjoy...

'Go for it like there is no tomorrow' Marka meant to say

Find a trinket or anything, really... that reminds you of this part of your personal exploration - carry it with you, wherever you go... a button or an earring, etc, that you can put in your pocket... take it out periodically throughout your day or, just feel it in your pocket - that's not shame, that's in that pocket... it's a symbol of your interpersonal growth...

Lots of people pay lots of $$$$ to lots of 'shrinks' for much crummier advice than that nugget of wisdom by 'Marka the Magificent'

Why not? -seriously-
My best, for now,
Marka
Click to expand...

Twinkle, twinkle, little star -
How I wonder what you are?
Like a diamond in the sky...
'Shine on you crazy diamond.'
 
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im 58 still looking for a girl that would accept cross dressing much less abdl. so that will be a problem I got divorced over it. crossdressing to transgender is a scale probably 1-10 as to where you go. I transitioned breast implants professional hair loved it. growing up male and I do mean clint eastwood type male im down the middle on both sides. I dressed nice very nice but most women now don't dress nice and crossdressers and tgs like to dress in nicer things which also makes you stand out. being male I could not take care of the hair as well either. doing nails pierced ears and some things you can do in both worlds. I defenatly want to have my breast implants back they deflated over time. but its bad enough going to the va and having a shaved body and at least some breasts. so there are consequences to each aspect. no one can really help you with your answser because you have to find it for yourself. even going out of the house dressed a neighbor might see then everyone knows. I taveled fully tansitioned to pa from Houston connection flights. rented a car enjoyed my stay and had an orchendectomy up there. came back as well dressed. no one noticed. no second looks or eye rolls no one noticed. not even tsa. and im not that passable. so it is possible.
 
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