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Thread: So You Want to Become Incontinent?

  1. #41

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    I find small cubicles hard to change in even after four years I much prefer the disabled loos, Id rather lie down to change if I could I'm loosing my left hip to something or another (clearly neurological docs think early onset of something but not sure what) so I struggle when standing. Plus as I have to catheterisation I need to wash my self down to prevent infection.

  2. #42

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    I understand we al have to find the way that works best for us.

  3. #43

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    Yeah we do, we all learn to cope in different ways as we progress learning new tricks each day

  4. #44

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    I honestly don't know what I want, regarding my IC issues at the moment. I don't see my urologist now until March, so I don't know whether they'll tell me I need urethral reconstruction or not, and whether that will improve my continence, or cause more IC.

    My immediate family (sisters & a niece) know of my IC issues, and are cool with knowing I wear nappies, but haven't actually seen them yet. The niece is actually exhibiting signs of being a bit AB herself, but anyway. Extended family may know, but haven't said anything. Elder sister introduced me to a friend of hers the other day as "meet my baby sister ... " (I don't know whether elder sis knows my AB tendencies...)

    I've seen benefits of going 24/7 - much better sleep quality, no binge/purges, being emotionally closer with my immediate family, we talk more often, I can open up to my sisters more about my feelings, rather than bottle them up. I'm also far more aware of what I've been drinking (water, coffee, alcohol). I'm quite ok with and have fun wearing my nappies at home, going out shopping and visiting friends family, social activities etc. I'm having fun exploring my AB side too, with pacifiers and bottles - have had some _wonderfully relaxing_ sleeps lately because of these.

    But at the same time, I've have had at least one UTI, have had a bit of nappy rash, am seeing gradual loss of what continence I do have, including increasing fecal IC. I went through periods late last year and over the Christmas break where I was having large floods into nappies. Now I'm seeing more frequent and lower volume releases, with no clamping sensations, and increasing frequency of gravity-assisted wees. Some of my night nappies have been thoroughly soaked, with no recollection of waking up to releases of large volume wees.

    I'm worried about the effects my IC will have on my work and career, which would have flow on effects regarding repaying the house mortgage, loans etc.

    I'm yet to wear nappies to work (I wear pullups), because of the intricacies of changing at work. Though we have disabled/accessible toilets, there's nowhere to dispose of used nappies. I'd have to hide the used nappy in my bag until I can dispose of it in a street bin, or carry it into the train station or even home. Or make a case to HR to get covered bins, black garbage bags, or larger-opening sanitary pad bins in the accessible toilets. My pullups are occasionally wet, but never saturated, as I can get to the toilet every hour or so.

    So yeah, I don't know what I want to have happen. I'm of a mindset and conviction that I'd accept wearing nappies 24/7 as part of my IC, but for the moment, I can remain sitting on the proverbial fence, and see what happens over time.

  5. #45

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    I started off with overflow incontinence due to lack of sensation this gradually got worse hence why I had no option but to turn to nappies I find them far more leak resistant than pads, your work shouldn't be a problem as by law they aren't allowed to discriminate against you and have to actually put in place effective steps to help you deal with your continence problem. I've had three jobs (career hunting) since i began suffering with incontinence and all of my employers were and are more than helpful, my current boss is more than happy to allow me time off to go to the urologist and to allow me to find a loo when I need one, I had two weeks off work when I got septicemia and he was helpful obviously I lost earnings at that point.

    I find that once you overcome the barriers of telling people you suffer from incontinence people are actually quite accepting of it and don't think twice, some ask more questions than others but sometimes it's nice to get it off your chest, makes life a lot easier once you get over the hill.

  6. #46

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    Quote Originally Posted by ozziebee View Post
    I honestly don't know what I want, regarding my IC issues at the moment. I don't see my urologist now until March, so I don't know whether they'll tell me I need urethral reconstruction or not, and whether that will improve my continence, or cause more IC.

    My immediate family (sisters & a niece) know of my IC issues, and are cool with knowing I wear nappies, but haven't actually seen them yet. The niece is actually exhibiting signs of being a bit AB herself, but anyway. Extended family may know, but haven't said anything. Elder sister introduced me to a friend of hers the other day as "meet my baby sister ... " (I don't know whether elder sis knows my AB tendencies...)

    I've seen benefits of going 24/7 - much better sleep quality, no binge/purges, being emotionally closer with my immediate family, we talk more often, I can open up to my sisters more about my feelings, rather than bottle them up. I'm also far more aware of what I've been drinking (water, coffee, alcohol). I'm quite ok with and have fun wearing my nappies at home, going out shopping and visiting friends family, social activities etc. I'm having fun exploring my AB side too, with pacifiers and bottles - have had some _wonderfully relaxing_ sleeps lately because of these.

    But at the same time, I've have had at least one UTI, have had a bit of nappy rash, am seeing gradual loss of what continence I do have, including increasing fecal IC. I went through periods late last year and over the Christmas break where I was having large floods into nappies. Now I'm seeing more frequent and lower volume releases, with no clamping sensations, and increasing frequency of gravity-assisted wees. Some of my night nappies have been thoroughly soaked, with no recollection of waking up to releases of large volume wees.

    I'm worried about the effects my IC will have on my work and career, which would have flow on effects regarding repaying the house mortgage, loans etc.

    I'm yet to wear nappies to work (I wear pullups), because of the intricacies of changing at work. Though we have disabled/accessible toilets, there's nowhere to dispose of used nappies. I'd have to hide the used nappy in my bag until I can dispose of it in a street bin, or carry it into the train station or even home. Or make a case to HR to get covered bins, black garbage bags, or larger-opening sanitary pad bins in the accessible toilets. My pullups are occasionally wet, but never saturated, as I can get to the toilet every hour or so.

    So yeah, I don't know what I want to have happen. I'm of a mindset and conviction that I'd accept wearing nappies 24/7 as part of my IC, but for the moment, I can remain sitting on the proverbial fence, and see what happens over time.
    I've been exactly where you are now. I really struggled with all the hateful feeling of loosing continence in spite of being a dl. After being forced to deal with it all, i finally realized that trying to make it to the bathroom every single hour was just stupid. Not to mention the pills with their side effects, and the constant leaks from using inferio diapers.

    After finally accepting my incontinence, and using premium diapers, my mood improved drastically. So did my work since diapers were less interfering than the constant bathroom trips.

    In the end, wanting and wishing to become incontinent comes down to how accepting you can be with actually being incontinent. For someone who is still fighting it, of couse they would never wish for it. But once you finally give in to already existing problems you already know won't get better, you then wonder why you hadn't wished for it sooner.

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    I really struggled with all the hateful feeling of loosing continence in spite of being a dl.
    This! I had these exact feelings myself. There's such a small percentage of people who are incontinent (roughly 2% who have it bad enough to require protection, I'd read somewhere) and much smaller amount who are AB/DL, the overlapping part must be incredibly tiny... but there's a surprisingly decent amount of people on ADISC who faced the same thing. I never really WANTED to be IC (although, like all DLs, thought that having an easy excuse to wear would be nice), when you're forced into it against your will, it's no longer something that's fun.

    That said, it's been about a year and a half of 24/7 wear for me and I've come to accept it as normal everyday life, although I do get tired of waking up to the smell of pee every day some times.

  8. #48

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    I'm glad to see a lot of incontinent people on this thread. I don't mean to disparage all the ABDLs who really want to wet and mess like a baby. However, when you have a family, kids, work, leisure activities, travel, etc., incontinence can be a pain. I will say though after decades of dealing with it, and wearing diapers off and on my while life, it gets easier. There are plenty of times when I'm thankful I'm okay with wearing diapers. It took a long time for me to say that.

    Update on me. I recently had updated urodynamic and cystoscope tests. Well...no surprise...my bladder and other parts are not falling apart, but my detrusor muscle just goes completely nuts after very little in my bladder. This has been going on for decades. My new urologist wants me to try mirabegron (no luck over the years with anticholinergics), but I'd rather not deal with the side effects some of which are extreme for this drug. Anybody else try mirabegron? I don't want possible problems with botox or interstim either. I want to stick with diapers, but doctors have a hard time hearing their patients want this. In addition, US health care companies typically don't cover them (mine doesn't anyway). They would rather cut you open or give you drugs.

  9. #49

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spaz View Post
    I'm glad to see a lot of incontinent people on this thread. I don't mean to disparage all the ABDLs who really want to wet and mess like a baby. However, when you have a family, kids, work, leisure activities, travel, etc., incontinence can be a pain. I will say though after decades of dealing with it, and wearing diapers off and on my while life, it gets easier. There are plenty of times when I'm thankful I'm okay with wearing diapers. It took a long time for me to say that.

    Update on me. I recently had updated urodynamic and cystoscope tests. Well...no surprise...my bladder and other parts are not falling apart, but my detrusor muscle just goes completely nuts after very little in my bladder. This has been going on for decades. My new urologist wants me to try mirabegron (no luck over the years with anticholinergics), but I'd rather not deal with the side effects some of which are extreme for this drug. Anybody else try mirabegron? I don't want possible problems with botox or interstim either. I want to stick with diapers, but doctors have a hard time hearing their patients want this. In addition, US health care companies typically don't cover them (mine doesn't anyway). They would rather cut you open or give you drugs.
    Been there done that. My doc put me on myrbetriq (mirabegron) for my detrusor and bladder sphincter dyssynergia. It did work to calm the highest intensity of my bladder spasms, but not the frequency. And only by about 20% of a reduction at that. It also gave me the side effects of an increased cough and severe drymouth.

    Ultimately I opted for the surgery, but since both my sphincters were screwed up, it took multiple surgeries to remove them enough to keep me open. For the short time I was fully open it was a huge relief for me, and eliminated nearly all the pain and discomfort I had.

    Unfortunately, the many sphincteritomies I had done also cause urethral scarring. Bad enough to cause a total blockage that set me back worse than how I started out.

    My advice, skip the meds. They DO help, but not enough to eliminate the spasms to where you don't need diapers. And they add in side effects.

    Go for the sphincterotomy surgery, but insist on the green light laser with emphasis on doing a radial cut and as deep as they can- with the primary intent to render you incontinent. This will minimize the need for repeat surgeries like I had.

    PM me if you want more detailed advice. I've been down this road before, and can guide you around the pot holes I hit.

  10. #50

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pongoandperdi15 View Post
    I started off with overflow incontinence due to lack of sensation this gradually got worse hence why I had no option but to turn to nappies I find them far more leak resistant than pads, your work shouldn't be a problem as by law they aren't allowed to discriminate against you and have to actually put in place effective steps to help you deal with your continence problem. I've had three jobs (career hunting) since i began suffering with incontinence and all of my employers were and are more than helpful, my current boss is more than happy to allow me time off to go to the urologist and to allow me to find a loo when I need one, I had two weeks off work when I got septicemia and he was helpful obviously I lost earnings at that point.

    I find that once you overcome the barriers of telling people you suffer from incontinence people are actually quite accepting of it and don't think twice, some ask more questions than others but sometimes it's nice to get it off your chest, makes life a lot easier once you get over the hill.
    I found that no one was really that bothered. Al my family and friends know I wear nappies and it hasn't been a problem.

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