Hello it's so lovely to meet you all! I'm Rosewhisper I'm feeling very shy but I'll try my best to explain why I'm here.
I'm a trans woman who would love to be a mummy. I'm very soft and gentle and very very loving. I have hardly any experience any of this but I've had these feelings for quite a long time.
I'm here because I'm interested in socialising and learning more about the community. I'm interested in diapers, nurture and regression.
Outside of that I'm interested in science and technology. I love cooking and animals, I'm considering going to university one day to do mathematics but I'm quite nervous.
What I'm mostly hoping to get from this website is support and friendship. Unfortunately this is a side of my life that hasn't really made me very happy. I'm currently trying to handle it but it's not easy. I think I might have some deep rooted shame and I've been crying a lot lately.
My approach to being a caregiver has always been to be very tactile and loving. I fantasize about giving lots of love and cuddles, fussing over my baby, holding hands and reading stories, softly talking, having baby sat on my knee, very platonic, very heavy on nurture. I'm also quite aware that there probably isn't much in this world that's more relaxing than wearing a nappy a silky nightie, a pacifier and holding a teddy bear but I just can't accept myself in that role and being able to switch and try it would be nice and hopefully you'll be able to help me unpick the shame surrounding this.
When I knew that I absolutely had to transition I thought that I had to completely remove any sissy or abdl desires and be this generic vanilla woman, now I realise how tragic and unnecessary that was but I went through a lot of self inflicted hatred and bullying over that and I feel like I may have damaged myself in much the same way that conversion therapy does damage people and it's taking a lot of my emotional energy to admit that.
About 6 months ago I almost almost sorted it out. I was experimenting a little bit with my bedroom, some Disney Princess sheets and posters, it felt...it felt really nice but before I could enjoy it for too long my Dad one day let himself into my flat and he didn't say anything but I was so ashamed I had to throw it all out then and there, it was so tragic. I still feel ashamed about that although part of me does know that I didn't hurt anyone in any way and I'm being hard on myself but the shame is still there.
So recently I've been on a couple of dates with sissies who both said they liked the idea of my nurture. But when we've talked about what we could offer each other intimately it's always involved something quite rough which I don't feel I can do. (I'm not saying that makes them bad people or anyone else who likes roughness, I'm just not someone who's capable of hitting her babies). And this has been gaslighting my sexuality a little bit because it's making what I want to offer feel like it's not good enough. I think if just one person sincerely says that they would like what I do offer then I would feel that I shouldn't give up hope.
So I'm sorry that this is all a little bit sad. I promise I'll be more cheery in other posts and I'm sure you'll be able to support me. Bless you all you all seem so friendly and lovely. If this is a bit heavy for you though I'm also a big fan of Riley Kilo and we can talk about how sweet and lovely she is instead if you like.
Oh and this is what I look like if you are interested: https://imgur.com/Nmv6cfd
Thank you so much for reading I really appreciate it. Love and oodles of cuddles X X X
I'm a trans woman who would love to be a mummy. I'm very soft and gentle and very very loving. I have hardly any experience any of this but I've had these feelings for quite a long time.
I'm here because I'm interested in socialising and learning more about the community. I'm interested in diapers, nurture and regression.
Outside of that I'm interested in science and technology. I love cooking and animals, I'm considering going to university one day to do mathematics but I'm quite nervous.
What I'm mostly hoping to get from this website is support and friendship. Unfortunately this is a side of my life that hasn't really made me very happy. I'm currently trying to handle it but it's not easy. I think I might have some deep rooted shame and I've been crying a lot lately.
My approach to being a caregiver has always been to be very tactile and loving. I fantasize about giving lots of love and cuddles, fussing over my baby, holding hands and reading stories, softly talking, having baby sat on my knee, very platonic, very heavy on nurture. I'm also quite aware that there probably isn't much in this world that's more relaxing than wearing a nappy a silky nightie, a pacifier and holding a teddy bear but I just can't accept myself in that role and being able to switch and try it would be nice and hopefully you'll be able to help me unpick the shame surrounding this.
When I knew that I absolutely had to transition I thought that I had to completely remove any sissy or abdl desires and be this generic vanilla woman, now I realise how tragic and unnecessary that was but I went through a lot of self inflicted hatred and bullying over that and I feel like I may have damaged myself in much the same way that conversion therapy does damage people and it's taking a lot of my emotional energy to admit that.
About 6 months ago I almost almost sorted it out. I was experimenting a little bit with my bedroom, some Disney Princess sheets and posters, it felt...it felt really nice but before I could enjoy it for too long my Dad one day let himself into my flat and he didn't say anything but I was so ashamed I had to throw it all out then and there, it was so tragic. I still feel ashamed about that although part of me does know that I didn't hurt anyone in any way and I'm being hard on myself but the shame is still there.
So recently I've been on a couple of dates with sissies who both said they liked the idea of my nurture. But when we've talked about what we could offer each other intimately it's always involved something quite rough which I don't feel I can do. (I'm not saying that makes them bad people or anyone else who likes roughness, I'm just not someone who's capable of hitting her babies). And this has been gaslighting my sexuality a little bit because it's making what I want to offer feel like it's not good enough. I think if just one person sincerely says that they would like what I do offer then I would feel that I shouldn't give up hope.
So I'm sorry that this is all a little bit sad. I promise I'll be more cheery in other posts and I'm sure you'll be able to support me. Bless you all you all seem so friendly and lovely. If this is a bit heavy for you though I'm also a big fan of Riley Kilo and we can talk about how sweet and lovely she is instead if you like.
Oh and this is what I look like if you are interested: https://imgur.com/Nmv6cfd
Thank you so much for reading I really appreciate it. Love and oodles of cuddles X X X