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BoneSaw

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  1. Diaper Lover
Hello anyone and everyone. Call me BoneSaw. I have never written a post about this part of my life, and tonight i just
told the third person ever about it. I am still very closeted about it because it seems that people with this kind of
interest are highly reviled and regarded at pedophiles. We are most certainly not. Pedophiles are pedophiles, and they
might be into anything, but no one should regard the AB/DL community as such. I am strictly a DL, and have no interest in age play
or infantilism, although i do not fault those who are into those things. We are all wired differently. I tend to experience
my diaper fetish as somewhat of a dissociative state...i'm still me, but it's kind of like slipping into a different mode, in
which the volume is turned down on most other things, and there is an invisible haze separating me from the rest of reality.
Diaper Mode. Sometimes it can last for several days, and sometimes i go months without feeling it. Does anyone else experience
it these ways? I am very particular about my diapers/boosters and what i wear over them, but that can be for another discussion.

Other important things about me: I'm trans-masculine and not at home in a female body. I currently deal with chronic pain from
injuries and the kind of work i'm still doing, which is why my occupation is listed as "looking for a better job." A job that
doesn't hurt me and does let me use my intellect. I spent many years as a metalsmith and have worked on an odd range of metal things,
from large duct work to fine jewelry. I am so over all of that. I am working with a job developer, who is trying to help me find a
job that accommodates my special needs.

I have misophonia. Mouth sounds, like smacking, loud chewing, and also nose sniffing, cause me to feel rage. I cannot be around them.
I also can't be around most music without something getting stuck in my head and replaying on loop for hours to days. This is currently
happening with a pop Xmas sing. Ack. I've always had trouble with basic social norms, and i am often startled when someone says hi to
me unexpectedly. By the time i figure out how to respond the right way, the person has usually moved on. I tend to take things more
literally than...i guess...they were intended. I never know how to respond to "what's up?" or "how are ya?" unless i know the statement
is a sincere question. One of my classmates confused me for years by asking "What's up?" and continuing to walk past me. I can't wear
clothing that pulls or restricts in certain ways, and when i am not in Diaper Mode, i dare not wear tightly fitting pants, except for a
costume. I can't smile unless i really feel like it, and i can't really express happiness or pleasure, although i occasionally
experience them. This has made many past partners very unhappy.

I have not been properly tested, but my discussions with my job developer have led us to suspect that my various mental oddities
are signs of autism. It would be affecting me on a subtle level, but these things definitely affect my life and make many work places
difficult for me to be in.

I am trying to make clothing for people whose bodies do not easily fit into what the market currently offers. This is a pipe dream,
since it is almost impossible to start your own clothing line if you do not have massive wealth and the help of other laborers. But
i have a lot of people interested in it, and some of the other LGBTQIA+ services and products i am offering, so we shall see what
happens. Tell you more if you are curious.

I like to write and perform comedy, poetry, and songs. I started learning cello a while back, but the pain in my shoulder, arm,
and hand forced me to stop. I still have the cello, and want to start learning again if this pain if ever fixed. I used to lift
weights regularly, and can put on muscle easily, so not being able to do that has made me more dysphoric in my body.

I have been poking around online for years, looking at things other DLs post, IC blogs, product reviews, etc. A lot of what i have
found is fictional fantasy stories and dating sites. I'm not here for that. I have a partner who knows i'm a DL and is fine with it,
and i prefer the stories i read about diapers to be true or at least realistic. I am interested in communicating with other DLs about
what products they use and what they wear over them because i have never gotten to do that. But honest communication about anything
with such like-minded individuals would be great. I suspect i have gone on long enough, so i hope to hear from some of you soon.
 
Welcome to the site BoneSaw! That was a helluva intro. We're here for you and any questions you might have. See you in the comments!
 
Great to meet you, I may not be the best to ask about products as I'm a DL but also have some issues at night so that is my driving force for diapers thus I wear basically every night no matter if I'm in diaper mode or not. Today I decided to wear all day 24 hours so if I go out I will wear a Depends RealFit with simply jeans over it.
 
Hello and welcome, I'm Aspergers myself and so much of what you say resonates with being on the spectrum, there is an autistic/Aspergers section here actually,,,, it would be fab if you decided to join us,,,
 
Hello, Scaramouche. Is Zipperless your former nickname? Hehe, yes it was. I tend to be verbose. Sometimes too verbose. :p
I'm glad you read it.

Hey, DL1989. Good to hear from you. If i wore on a regular basis, my driving force would be that i have found that my bladder is hyper-sensitive to
stimulants and acids, like in coffee (even decaf) and alcohol, vinegar, citrus, and some herbal teas. My caffeine and alcohol tolerances are very low
overall. For years, i would observe how often other people went to the bathroom, because i suspected i went way more often. These substances basically
give me OAB. I had to gradually decrease caffeine, and in recent years, became sensitive to even decaf products because of, i assume, their acidity.
Decaf coffee also triggers acid reflux. I really miss being able to go out and get a cup of decaf and drink the whole thing. There have been times
when i had some coffee or an alcoholic drink and wished i had been wearing a diaper on the way back to my place simply because i had to pee so bad
and wasn't 100% sure i could hold it. So far, one of my favorite products is the Attends Shaped Pads Super. Great protection in the back, which most
"pads" don't offer, easy to change out, i can put a booster in it if i want, and it feels really substantial all over. I haven't been able to find them
in any of the stores lately, so i might have to order them online. I should really write a substantial post about my various health issues and how they
relate to my diaper interest.

- - - Updated - - -

Hey Pete67. Late last night i found an article on here about sensory issues, autism, Asbergers, and other neurological issues, and how common it is
for people who experience those things to also be DLs. I will join this section, if i can figure out how! Still trying to figure out the workings of
the site.
 
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