How Should I Feel?!?

So I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post this, but I feel as though I need to vent or else I'm going to explode. I want to preface this post by saying I don't want pity or anyone to think this is a woe is me tale, I'm just ranting because I literally have no one close to talk to and it hurts.

So this weekend, unfortunately, marked the end of one of the most amazing, accepting, and dare I say perfect relationships of my adult life. I thought I had found the one, the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She was even accepting of my little side. Admittedly she was a little weirded out, but she never made me feel less as a person. The flip side to what appears to be a rather smooth and amazing relationship is my family. Long story short my family hated her. They were jealous and hated that I turned to her instead of them for my comfort. My mother was especially problematic, wouldn't engage my now EX, blamed her for me and my brother's bad relationship, and hated the fact I talked to her every night. Amongst that hatred, my brother decided to get jealous as well. He, having had a brief 2-week fling with my now EX couldn't stand the fact we were together. The upsetting part is I asked him before me and my EX dated if he was ok with it. He said yes. I guess I shouldn't have trusted my brother. He constantly harassed my EX, spread stuff about me being a little on campus so to cause my EX turmoil and ridicule, and even told people I know and still talk to he was, on orders from my parents, doing what he could to break me and my EX apart.

As you can tell by the start of this post, that is exactly what happened this Sunday. She couldn't take the hate any longer. She felt as though she was the problem and as though she was tearing me from my family. So she left me. She left me still telling me she cared and that's why she had to leave. I don't know how to feel. I hurt, it burns, and dare I say it, I feel as though I want to die. 1 1/2 years down the drain due to my family. Of course, they won't admit fault. I just don't know what to feel or how to solve this problem. I fear I have lost her for good. I fear as though there is no rebound. I fear that I can never trust my family again. I don't know what to do and I'm lost.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant and tale of woe. I just felt that I needed to write and get this off my chest. I hope everyone is going to have a good Thanksgiving, I know I won't be. Thanks yall, goodnight.

We all experience loss in our life. I lost my wife October 19th due to complications from diabetes. Loss is loss and it's always painful. Some loss is permanent such as mine. Some loss is temporary and some losses are eased by replacement or substitution. Relationships often end and typically, after some recovery time, people move on.

Your case is somewhat different in that your family sounds toxic. I have to wonder if your ex was waiting for you to leave your family and choose her over them? Is that still possible? From what you have said, and that's all any of us have to go by, it would seem that your family might dislike/hate anyone you might be with. If that's the case, you need to distance yourself from them or your only relationship will be with them.

I dated a girl in high school that my mom didn't like, and when we eventually broke up, I started dating guys. My mom liked that even less! So the question remains, can you get back together with your ex if you break up with your family, or is it too late, especially with your brother playing blame and shame at college. Regardless, you need to distance yourself from your family because it sounds like they will sabotage any future relationship you might have.

I'm sorry for your loss *hugs* No, I don't believe she is waiting for me to leave my family. I offered to do as such. She feels that she is the problem, that she was the one that caused my family to fracture. She told me she broke up with me so I could go and make amends with my family. Problem is I don't, I want her back, I'm miserable and feel broken. They didn't like the last few GF I have had and have whined to me about my brothers. That's another problem when my mother has a problem with me she whines to my brother when she has a problem with my brother she whines to me. That probably why my brother did what he did. But I wouldn't be surprised if it was a planned action. She has made statements today that make me think she was behind it.

May I make a suggestion? If you love her that much, and your family so little; wouldn't it be worth it to break off ties with your family and go back to her?

Years ago, my wife did exactly that for me. Her family was actively and openly manipulating her to break it off with me. At one point it just couldn't take it anymore and had to make the choice of never seeing or talking to her family ever again. AND that, unfortunately, my wife had to make the decision to be with either me or her family, not both.

At first she chose her family, and we unoffically became seperated (I even moved out). After about a week of listening to just her family, she realized that was a mistake. She severed all ties with them, and has been more happy with just me.