BedWetting Husband

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BrittanyJ

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Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.

So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.

I love him more than anything in this world and would never look at him any differently for wearing protection. I’ve noticed it appears to be more of a common trend than people may think.

That being said, since he started wearing his pull-up diapers to bed, I noticed that he appears to sleep better and even admitted that he actually likes how comfortable they are to wear. The only issue I have is that I have noticed they leak more often then not.

Should I suggest that he start wearing the tabbed diapers? Everything I read on the internet has said they are much more absorbent and less likely to leak. Just looking for your thoughts.

I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.
 
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First, you are an amazing woman for being so understanding and supportive. This is truly the most important part. This is a tough issue for anyone, but that support will help in ways many can't imagine.
Next, has he been to the doctor about it. I know you identified when it tends to happen, but he should be communicating with a doctor to see if there is another underlying issue. Last thing you want is something serious to go undetected until it's too late.
Lastly...My wife was also very supportive and had the same concerns when I decided to start wearing diapers. I quickly switched to the tabbed style and they are much better. At this point it is better with assistance and she helps me get them on with a snug fit to prevent leaks. You Amy not be ready for that, but it definitely was a night and day difference switching regardless.

Good luck!!!
 
Archerstanley is correct your husband see an urologist and should also switch to a taped diaper like Better Dry or dry 24/7 I prefer the Better dry diaper as it seems to be more absorbant and has taller gatherers to help prevent leaks.

Pullups do not work well in most cases due to the fact they need to fit a wide range of sizes and are not adjustable like tape diapers. I would also recommend getting some washable bed protectors
 
If a doctor says everything is ok (probably recommend a drug like Flomax) then companies like Depends, XP Medical and my fav, Northshore, will send free samples upon request. Send them an email or call them. Good luck and keep us posted.

Also, this looks like your first post. Welcome to the community! We are a support group and as you see above, we're a very friendly and helpful bunch. Maybe you'd like to stick around? Maybe you would like to try diapers with your husband to give him support and make him not feel so out of place? You don't have to use them. :)
 
Welcome to the site.
Dr is good idea, GP first though. Might be sleep apnea behind issue disrupting his deepest sleep.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Your husband is a lucky man, I hope he truly appreciates you. I also started wetting the bed after drinking and long days at work early in our marriage, I also had wet out of laziness more then a few times.
My wife is not nearly as supporting as you appear to be , I now have been diapered every night for the last 5 or 6 years and she has nothing good to say about it. Again I hope your husband appreciates you as it seems you do him.
 
Betterdry and Confidry 24/7 are excellent brands, for many, but not all, people. Don't forget, this is gonna be his first time wearing something tabbed in years, unless there's something he's not telling you, so, to him, plastic backing might be evil.

For me, it's, "I'll kill you, you bastard! I'll shove your nose into your brain," evil.

I like clothlike backing. If he'd prefer it, too, try Seni Quatro, or Super Plus, North Shore Air Supreme, which also has a light version, or, if I dare suggest it, ABU Preschool. Be careful with those. The print might hurt his feelings. It actually helps mine, because I don't feel old or sick, and if he wants something that feels nice, and plastic is too much, though the landing zone is plastic, but softer than most, that's it.

Less leaky pull-ups, if that's where he wants to go, would be Seni Active Super Plus, and North Shore Go Supreme.
 
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I want one! Oh, sorry about the inconvenience you are going through. I would either put down a reusable bed pad or upgrade to better protection.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk
 
Pullups are I tended only for light stress leakage. He will need a tabbed diaper. Northshore, Confidry24/7, and Betterdry are all good overnight diapers.

And yes, he should follow up with a urogist. Though bedwetting is common after heavy drinking or with too much daily stress. There may not be a "cure" for him.
 
I'll weigh in. Confidry is my current favorite, and very reasonably priced. Once you figure out how to tape it correctly, they have NEVER leaked on me. They hold a lot, and have a fairly high rise, which helps for bedwetting
 
BrittanyJ said:
Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.

So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.

I love him more than anything in this world and would never look at him any differently for wearing protection. I’ve noticed it appears to be more of a common trend than people may think.

That being said, since he started wearing his pull-up diapers to bed, I noticed that he appears to sleep better and even admitted that he actually likes how comfortable they are to wear. The only issue I have is that I have noticed they leak more often then not.

Should I suggest that he start wearing the tabbed diapers? Everything I read on the internet has said they are much more absorbent and less likely to leak. Just looking for your thoughts.

I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.
I would get him to try Tena Maxi Slips and wear some mylesta nylon pants over them as I do. This will help keep the bed dry apart from on really heavy wetting nights.Get you husband to see the doc. though. My bedwetting and incontinence is caused by diabetes. I would not have found out if I hadn't seen the doc about my bedwetting.
 
Fascinating said:
I want one! Oh, sorry about the inconvenience you are going through. I would either put down a reusable bed pad or upgrade to better protection.

Sent from my LGL31L using Tapatalk

Diapers and rubber pants for me, every night and even in the day. Bed protectors, too!
 
I wet every night and wear Northshore Supremes with a pair of plastic pants under my pajamas. I am very comfortable and wake up with my pajamas and bed dry most nights. Some I may get a bit damp if I wet while sleeping on my side but it's really nothing.
 
BrittanyJ said:
Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.

So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.

I love him more than anything in this world and would never look at him any differently for wearing protection. I’ve noticed it appears to be more of a common trend than people may think.

That being said, since he started wearing his pull-up diapers to bed, I noticed that he appears to sleep better and even admitted that he actually likes how comfortable they are to wear. The only issue I have is that I have noticed they leak more often then not.

Should I suggest that he start wearing the tabbed diapers? Everything I read on the internet has said they are much more absorbent and less likely to leak. Just looking for your thoughts.

I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.

Brittany, no one here is going to suggest that you are crazy for suggesting he wear diapers.

This social media community is for individuals who are adult babies, diaper lovers, incontinent persons, and so forth.... but by in large the community consists of individuals who for various reasons do enjoy wearing diapers.

I am not sure how you stumbled here to find the ADISC site, but if you are truthful in your post and not just trolling (please forgive me for suggesting this, but it does seem odd that one such as yourself comes to a site where the bulk of the community are individuals who like wearing diapers and you are someone who is asking about whether it is okay for your incontinent husband to wear diapers) then, I think you will certainly find a majority of support that it is okay to wear diapers, even the tabbed ones that are more suggestive of a baby diaper.

If you and your husband find this an acceptable solution to the problem of incontinence, then perhaps you might be able to make the situation less "heavy" or "disconcerting" by finding some enjoyment in the actual acceptance of wearing them. To many here on ADISC, including those who are truly incontinent, finding a release from the fears and embarrassment of this, to allowing oneself to actually have a bit of fun as a couple in the situation seems to be a healthy and positive response. You suggested the he looks cute in them and that it has brought you closer together as a couple. Well, that indeed is a good thing. There are many things that perhaps you can explore and become closer still if you are both desiring to do so.

So, if you are being truthful (and again, I apologize, but the odds of a wife coming to this site and seeking advice for an incontinent husband and asking if it is okay to suggest he wear diapers.... well... those odds are quite rare), then I certainly have no hesitation in suggesting to you that it is okay to continue to pursue having him wear diapers, for both the practicality of the situation, as well as something that may bring you further together as a couple if you both accept and enjoy this aspect in your relationship.

In any case, I wish you well in your situation.

Thanks for your post.

:detective3

Teddy Bear Cowboy
 
Your husband is really lucky to have you and i hope he knows your worth and treats you well also . I am looking forward to meeting someone new and exploring the possible opportunities that can be. I am a Care taker, mommy, my rules are pretty strict and i like to clean up my babyboy, i don't mind cleaning up myself as long as he is happy i am too.
 
As a 37 year old bed-wetter and now mostly daytime incontinent individual the best thing he can do is especially if he's a side sleeper is go to a Tana Molly care type cab diaper that has good protection for a side sleeper or for the way he sleeps otherwise all you're going to do is damage the furniture mattresses don't like getting wet and they're really expensive so get a waterproof cover and upgrade your product and most of all make it fun give him it will give him a confidence boost and bring your relationship closer so have fun with it turn it into something that's not stigma

- - - Updated - - -

And just for the record I can wear a pull up during the day if I have the ability to change once maybe twice in that day if I do not I will wear a tab diaper daily with a booster and that will go all day long without having to change so if I'm traveling or anyplace I can't readily get to a convenient changing spot
 
Thanks for all the responses! It’s much appreciated.

To answer a few questions, yes we have seeked help from an Urologist and other specialists. They have all said that it does not appear that he has any serious health issues. I just learned that he has had some bed wetting issues steming back from when he was a kid.

It was suggested that he try some medications but after having a long talk about it, he decided he will just continue to wear protection at night since it doesn’t happen that often. He told me that he actually finds his protective pants to be comfortable. Not to mention, he’s not a big fan of taking medication for anything at all.

I agreed with him since I really don’t seem the harm in him wearing protection at night.

As for being a “troll”, I promise I’m not. This is just one of the sites I stumbled upon while googling when researching and looking for support. I posted on a marriage advise site but most of the responses were very negative and made me feel like I was in the wrong for even suggesting diapers as a solution, so I thought this site would be more appropriate?

Thanks again for the responses!
 
Good decisions on both of your parts - particularly about the medication avoidance.

As you experienced, society is not accepting of diapers as a solution to bed wetting, which is ridiculous. We wish that all could be as logical, understanding and compassionate as you.
 
I won't take meds for my bedwetting either , side effect for all meds , I would rather put up with the side effect from protection
 
BrittanyJ said:
Thanks for all the responses! It’s much appreciated.

To answer a few questions, yes we have seeked help from an Urologist and other specialists. They have all said that it does not appear that he has any serious health issues. I just learned that he has had some bed wetting issues steming back from when he was a kid.

It was suggested that he try some medications but after having a long talk about it, he decided he will just continue to wear protection at night since it doesn’t happen that often. He told me that he actually finds his protective pants to be comfortable. Not to mention, he’s not a big fan of taking medication for anything at all.

I agreed with him since I really don’t seem the harm in him wearing protection at night.

As for being a “troll”, I promise I’m not. This is just one of the sites I stumbled upon while googling when researching and looking for support. I posted on a marriage advise site but most of the responses were very negative and made me feel like I was in the wrong for even suggesting diapers as a solution, so I thought this site would be more appropriate?

Thanks again for the responses!

Hey Brittany!

Saw your post earlier and didn’t have a chance to respond, but I know where you’re coming from. I’m the bedwetting husband in his 30’s in my relationship. First of all - YOU ARE AN AWESOME SPOUSE AND DO NOT FORGET THAT! I struggled for a long time dealing with my bedwetting issues, to the point where it seriously interferes with my dating life. There’s being a little nervous going to someone’s place for the first time, and then there’s never wanting to sleep with someone because you’re absolutely mortified about wetting the bed the first time and having the other person think you’re some weird, damaged person.

Being supportive of him is so huge I can’t even begin to describe its importance. When you’re the wetter in the relationship having someone that has your back is just phenomenal. We’re guys, were taught that being ‘manly’ is of utmost importance, and to have to deal with possibly being branded a ‘child’ or a ‘weirdo that’s wets his pants’ is mortifying. I’ve gotten over it, but it wasn’t easy, took time and struggled with self doubt for a while.

On the medical side- I decided that due to a couple of factors and a GREAT Family doctor that diapers were the best course of action. Now obviously everyone is different and yes, I did become a DL as well. But he (and you) should be pursuing the best route, and if that’s diapers that’s cool.

As to the diapers. I quit wearing the pull up style diapers a long time ago because I found they were pretty useless. I generally wear either Abena M4s, Confidrys or Tykables (previously the PLeathers and now the Overnights). I’d HIGHLY encourage him to try LOTS of different diapers and styles, as what fits me might be a terrible fit for him and vice versus. I’d also encourage you to be open with him. My SO has been vocal which are considered to be “cute” and which really kill the mood if you know what I mean. Everyone is different.

Finally, the less of a deal it becomes the better he will likely feel. Give him support and encouragement and you’ll be amazed how he’ll respond. When I knew my SO had my back it made me so much happier.

I’m glad you’re here, by all means ask whatever is on your mind. If we can help you both then it’s mission accomplished!

Peace,
PPB
 
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