The acceptance. Method to help beat anxiety in public

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makena43

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  1. Diaper Lover
Now I look this up. In this site and I am wanting to know if this is right.


The. First stage is diapers are not wrong or make it that I am gross or bad person. No it doesn't. Next stage. Confuse me some. Which is wearing diaper is unusual. And lastly every has different. Interest. So that is why people. Are against diapers plus don't what others say. Did I miss anything
 
First of all, sorry if I'm understanding you wrong. Feel free to correct me. Yes, there is nothing wrong with liking diapers. No, it doesn't mean you're a gross or bad person. As for the last part, you're asking why people think we're strange? We're what you would call a 'misunderstood' people. People don't know much about us so when they find out this stuff they don't understand it, and they can't relate. It makes some people uneasy and sometimes that translates into insults and rejection. You have to remember that not everyone wants to bother learning what this interest is all about, and any sort of insult or rejection isn't something you should take to heart. There's no wisdom or truth behind that sort of response. It's just how some people react to something they don't understand.
 
The way to beat anxiety is the title of book on it: "feel the fear and do it anyway" put your diaper on put your pants on and go do whatever it is your going to do ,you are going to feel anxious for as long as you keep the idea in your head that your doing something bad or wrong , when your not there is no law or enforcement of anything because diapers are completely unregulated,and more importantly no one cares what underwear you have on except you, it's you making yourself anxious by making a big issue out of wearing a diaper .
You either decide there's nothing wrong with what your doing and get over it , or your going to keep searching for a key to a lock that is not yours, you can continue to hold yourself back or you can go out and live your life .its entirely within your control.i admit I wear diapers and use diapers because I don't have control , but reserve the right to enjoy them , give yourself Permission and then do it,and even enjoy it.

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Thank you guys . so I am on the right track. I need to study this and do it.
 
Makena. We have already told you all of this soooo many times. I get you're having a hard, hard time overcoming your fear and understanding what acceptance means. And I feel for you, really.

But seriosly, there are only so many different ways to say the same thing, and we're only going to repeat ourselves so many times. Could you please consider not starting more threads to ask what we have already answered. Instead, please just look back at our previous replies and try to understand them. The answers you are seeking are already there.
 
So I basicly got to get my brain to say its okay and. Just wear every day. Sounds almost easy to do. Probably will take 3 weeks at least

I talked to my tharpist. About diapers today. She ask if I use the pull up. I said. No the full-on diaper. And if I wore under my clothes. I go yes. Us diaper lovers. Are discrete. And I think I said we have. Alot of anxiety. And finally. Question is. Do you think I am judgmental? No. I said. So what questions should I be asking. Next time.
 
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Please. Take a look at my last message above
 
Not sure why you think you'll be able to have diapers fully accepted in just three weeks. You've already been at this for more than three months. For some here, it took 10+ years too. So yeah, that's a bit....optimistic.

Your next question to your therapist soud be: can she help you to accept you need and wear diapers, and to get past your fear of what other guys "might" think IF they find out.
 
Oh I didn't. Know it could be that long. I will put the question in my notebook for next Time what about the masturbating?
 
makena43 said:
So I basicly got to get my brain to say its okay and. Just wear every day. Sounds almost easy to do. Probably will take 3 weeks at least

I talked to my tharpist. About diapers today. She ask if I use the pull up. I said. No the full-on diaper. And if I wore under my clothes. I go yes. Us diaper lovers. Are discrete. And I think I said we have. Alot of anxiety. And finally. Question is. Do you think I am judgmental? No. I said. So what questions should I be asking. Next time.

Oh I didn't. Know it could be that long. I will put the question in my notebook for next Time what about the masturbating?

I think the truth is the questions you should be asking are in your heart, and we can't answer that for you. Though Slomo's suggestion isn't the worst idea either, I think you should try come up with your own as well. Sometimes the questions we really don't want to ask are the one's we should be asking about.

Acceptance can come and go unfortunately. There will likely be struggling times in your life when your self-acceptance wavers, and that's okay. Try avoid self-destructive behaviour during these times and see if you can get back on track.
 
My first 8 or 10 years in diapers, i always wore onesies and certain pants and made sure my diaper couldn't be accidently seen , then one day it dawned on me , i dont give a rats ass who sees it , at home dometimes allni wear is my diaper and PP's, big switch from the early days when my arm and hand were paralyzed and my aide shouldnt and couldnt see me in diapers they had to pretape my "invisible" diapers so they didn't seen me struggle to get it on , talk about imature ! These days if i need to BE changed and not up to doing it, thats what inhave an aide for, and if i want to wear my alpine tights to remember my able bodied days people are going to known i am in diaper so what they will either get over it or they will scratch there eyes out, you control the diaper , the diaper doesnt control you , it may take years to accept yourself on the level i do , but every day is fresh start .


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Yeah, I agree the questions should come from my heart. Those questions will be the ones that makes any diaper lover too scared to write ,let alone face to face. I thought when you finally have acceptance it's there forever. I am working on my wrecking problem by using a rubberband and snapping it. Oh on the appantance. I got to say,,"I don't care if my Co workers and other people can tell I am wearing a diaper" Is that too soon?
 
makena43 said:
Yeah, I agree the questions should come from my heart. Those questions will be the ones that makes any diaper lover too scared to write ,let alone face to face. I thought when you finally have acceptance it's there forever. I am working on my wrecking problem by using a rubberband and snapping it. Oh on the appantance. I got to say,,"I don't care if my Co workers and other people can tell I am wearing a diaper" Is that too soon?

I think it's okay to want to keep it private from people without a need to know, like your co-workers. There's a distinction we've talked about with some frequency on the site between what's private and what's secret. Private is for things you keep to yourself or to those with a need to know. If they are found out after you've made a reasonable effort, it's not the end of the world. In contrast, a secret is something you definitely don't want to get out. We take considerable effort to maintain a secret for ourselves and those few who we might share it with. If it gets out, it's going to be upsetting and embarrassing.

I would say if you're going to make an effort to wear in public with any frequency, you need to be thinking of this as private rather than secret. It's like showing your underwear: you'll want to avoid that if possible but if it happens, you pull up your pants and get on with your life.

In any event, comfort with this isn't going to happen quickly but it should get better over time.
 
Okay, I will start to believe that wearing a diaper as private and not a secret also everything I am working here and my tharpist will take alot of time and work
 
makena43 said:
Yeah, I agree the questions should come from my heart. Those questions will be the ones that makes any diaper lover too scared to write ,let alone face to face. I thought when you finally have acceptance it's there forever. I am working on my wrecking problem by using a rubberband and snapping it. Oh on the appantance. I got to say,,"I don't care if my Co workers and other people can tell I am wearing a diaper" Is that too soon?

You can say it all you want, but that doesn't make it instantly true. Although, saying it out loud is one tool to actually help make it true in time. It's sort of a psychological tool where by saying it you're trying to convince yourself it's true. And eventually it just might be, so by all means keep telling yourself you don't care until your really don't.
 
I will do that and see what happens in whatever time it takes.
 
So recap here is i need to work on my acceptance by getting more time then once or twice a week being in a diaper.at work I need to do some self talk of there is nothing wrong with wearing diaper. And keep saying its all in mind. No one cares . and just allow my self to enjoy it plus if some ask I say its for my hernia. And leave it at that.
 
makena43 said:
Okay, I will start to believe that wearing a diaper as private and not a secret also everything I am working here and my tharpist will take alot of time and work

It's perfectly ok of course to wear diapers, you are not hurting anyone and doing something that helps you emotionally, but I kinda get the feeling that you are experiencing other issues in your life, and are externalising these feelings that you don't know how to deal with, into anxiety about diapers. And yes "private not secret" is the perfect way of putting it!
 
So how do i solve the external issues in the last post. Everything else is spot on about me
 
makena43 said:
So how do i solve the external issues in the last post. Everything else is spot on about me

just do it. seriously, just do it. there's no real way to just make yourself accept it and magically get rid of all the anxiety related to it. it's not a matter of acceptance, it's a matter of getting used to it. same as it is with everything else. the more you do it, the more you get used to it, which in its own way means you start to accept it. so again, it if you wanna make progress, you're gonna have to do it. making countless threads asking the same question won't be of any help to you. this community has already given you all the advice it could give you. from here on it's up to you to make any progress.
 
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