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chelsv11

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So my husband and I have started wearing diapers together. He was hiding this from me and I couldn't understand how or why he would ever want to wear one as an adult. Now I have been through a lot with this man that I love. He is a cross dresser which I do with him shop! Go out what have you. We have an interesting never boring sex life. He has struggled very much with being honest with me when it comes to talking with other people like him. So back to the original topic.....I wanted to understand my husband why would he want to do this? He said it was an escape and sense of security I didn't get it. So me being me the only way I could think to understand him was to try it. I now understand why he feels secure and it's an escape for him. We now either wear together or take turns and the other is in charge. It's a turning for the both of us and we have a lot of fun. We have both worn in public and just enjoy each other's company. He now has a profile on here and can freely express himself in a safe way. I hope things can improve for him emotionally and mentally.

Are there any other couples on here who do the Same? I'm just curious.
 
chelsv11 said:
So my husband and I have started wearing diapers together. He was hiding this from me and I couldn't understand how or why he would ever want to wear one as an adult. Now I have been through a lot with this man that I love. He is a cross dresser which I do with him shop! Go out what have you. We have an interesting never boring sex life. He has struggled very much with being honest with me when it comes to talking with other people like him. So back to the original topic.....I wanted to understand my husband why would he want to do this? He said it was an escape and sense of security I didn't get it. So me being me the only way I could think to understand him was to try it. I now understand why he feels secure and it's an escape for him. We now either wear together or take turns and the other is in charge. It's a turning for the both of us and we have a lot of fun. We have both worn in public and just enjoy each other's company. He now has a profile on here and can freely express himself in a safe way. I hope things can improve for him emotionally and mentally.

Are there any other couples on here who do the Same? I'm just curious.

Hi and welcome to the site. I read your husband's introduction thread and your response as well. Being AB/DL myself, I understand why most of us are not forthcoming to our spouses or at least, are hesitant. It's because it can be embarrassing. It's not easy admitting to someone you love that you enjoy wearing and using diapers, and enjoy role playing as an infant or toddler. Most of us don't expect our spouses to understand and worse, to be repulsed by it.

You are quite remarkable in accepting all of this and more so, trying it. I'm happy for the both of you.
 
I think it's neat that you're open to giving this a try but I doubt you'll get a real sense of why he's doing it. Some of us think we know what caused it. I think it's unlikely that it's triggered by a single event, even if that event is traumatic or extremely impactful for whatever reason. Most of us had the urge pretty early (my first inklings were ages 3-4) which makes it really hard to get good information. Memories aren't clear, we didn't write things down, etc. My point is that I don't think we generally know the cause. We know it brings us pleasure, generally either sexual or comfort or a mix.

For me (and this is just me, don't take my experience as typical), it feels like the underpinnings are almost entirely sexual/sensual but over time I've learned how to wear and enjoy them socially without any obvious sexual purpose. Diapers don't make everyone sexy to me but so far, no one is really sexy to me without them involved in some part of the relationship. They're also pretty good all by themselves. In this, they do something for me that really nothing else has.

As a last point, I think you'd be wise to avoid seeing this as a static thing. Our own feelings change over time but also our ability to accept ourselves and express to others what we want changes over time. It can be a matter of being afraid of being honest with others or just not yet accepting something to yourself as true. I can't count the number of times as a teen I knew I would stop liking this. I wasn't lying to myself. I believed it at the time. I would expect that your level of openness will make this part easier for him.
 
Dogboy I can completely understand that it's extremely scary. I will say it's been a long road for him and I. It has taken alot of time for me to reach the point I am at with everything. We have explored and become more open with eachother. When i was younger my friends and I would explore and do things. So I have always had a "side" to me that I haven't really been open to untill now.

Trevor I do get what you are saying. It's not just something I'm doing for him. I don't view It as static either. It has actually opened a side to me that I did question at a younger age. My friends and I were playing a game like house or something. I was around 8 there were the parents and babies. I was playing the part of a baby, and I can remember thinking what would it be like to actually wear a diaper right now. That thought was pushed way out of my memory until recently when all this came up with my husband. And yes we do change as we get older what we do and don't want. What my husband and I have been through I think we can tackle anything to come down the line. All i ask is that we are honest with eachother. I too have dealt with many thoughts that aren't considered "normal" who's to say what normal is these days. If we can be honest with eachother I think it will be ok. You know I give him alot of credit he has actually been stronger than I. He has dealt with alot of sides about himself. Only to help me realize that we all have alot of sides. It all boils down to who is strong enough to face them head on. That's just my opinion. Have a good evening and thanks for the responses!
 
Wow! It's amazing you were so open and willing to experiment/participate. Make sure he know you're too good for him.

I'm also married (16 years now). I made sure to tell my then girl friend about my diapers when it started looking serious. Opening up like that was one of the most difficult things I've had to do.

My wife never has understood my compulsion and love for diapers, but she had accepted them as a part of me even before we got married. She has worn a diaper for me on occasion, but never could bring herself to pee in one. Which to me is fine, I don't need her to share my love for diapers, only share my love for her.
 
I wasn't so open at first. So I finally put one on and wet it i had to understand as much as i could. He was having so much emotional pain and lying to me was causing him and I even more pain. He told me years ago about cross dressing. Which we have a comfort level with. The diapers is much more recent in years. He told me the other night he knew he loved me the day he felt somewhat comfortable to tell me about the dressing. Wearing diapers is not something that happens all the time but there is definitely time made for it. I just hope with all the cards laid out he can finally be 100% honest with me.

I'm happy for you that you and your wife have found a good balance, that is very important. I wish you all the happiness two can have!

Does she know you are on this forum? Curiosity gets me because my husband just joined. He wants to talk to others that have the same interests. I get that who wouldn't. He was doing it in unsafe ways Craigslist ect.... That made me very uncomfortable. Then we came across this site. This site atleast has rules and is monitored. Granted you still don't know who is on the other side of the screen. I don't know maybe it's just me being silly. Just want him to be safe.
 
chelsv11 said:
I wasn't so open at first. So I finally put one on and wet it i had to understand as much as i could. He was having so much emotional pain and lying to me was causing him and I even more pain. He told me years ago about cross dressing. Which we have a comfort level with. The diapers is much more recent in years. He told me the other night he knew he loved me the day he felt somewhat comfortable to tell me about the dressing. Wearing diapers is not something that happens all the time but there is definitely time made for it. I just hope with all the cards laid out he can finally be 100% honest with me.

I'm happy for you that you and your wife have found a good balance, that is very important. I wish you all the happiness two can have!

Does she know you are on this forum? Curiosity gets me because my husband just joined. He wants to talk to others that have the same interests. I get that who wouldn't. He was doing it in unsafe ways Craigslist ect.... That made me very uncomfortable. Then we came across this site. This site atleast has rules and is monitored. Granted you still don't know who is on the other side of the screen. I don't know maybe it's just me being silly. Just want him to be safe.

Of course, though she has her own thing and doesn't frequent here. In fact, she just looked over my shoulder now. Said eh, what ever. And yeah, trying to deny and/or hide our compulsion doesn't make it go away. We eventually find an out, but often one that is more harmful than helping. Bringing this out into the "open" here is one of the better things you two can do.
 
Agreed hiding or trying to suppress never works. It's always better to be open about things. I grew up in a house with parents who had lots of secrets. It's a toxic thing and I refuse to live my life that way.
 
chelsv11 said:
So my husband and I have started wearing diapers together. He was hiding this from me and I couldn't understand how or why he would ever want to wear one as an adult. Now I have been through a lot with this man that I love. He is a cross dresser which I do with him shop! Go out what have you. We have an interesting never boring sex life. He has struggled very much with being honest with me when it comes to talking with other people like him. So back to the original topic.....I wanted to understand my husband why would he want to do this? He said it was an escape and sense of security I didn't get it. So me being me the only way I could think to understand him was to try it. I now understand why he feels secure and it's an escape for him. We now either wear together or take turns and the other is in charge. It's a turning for the both of us and we have a lot of fun. We have both worn in public and just enjoy each other's company. He now has a profile on here and can freely express himself in a safe way. I hope things can improve for him emotionally and mentally.

Are there any other couples on here who do the Same? I'm just curious.

First of all chelsv11, welcome to the site! It seems as though your husband is a lucky guy to have such a loving and accepting wife. Maybe of us on the site stress a lot about revealing such a strange interest to our partners.

I'll leave the explanation of "why" some people like this to some of the other users who I think would give a better answer than myself but I can tell you that often this kink comes about from a significant event in childhood when the brain is still developing sexually. What that significant even is could really be anything, and there's likely a lot of reasons other than this but I'm sure it's the most common root.

I hope we can be of help in some way, even just as somewhere to vent. This website is many things but primarily it's a support group so feel free to use it as such. All the best to you and your man!
 
SleepingBlueWolf said:
First of all chelsv11, welcome to the site! It seems as though your husband is a lucky guy to have such a loving and accepting wife. Maybe of us on the site stress a lot about revealing such a strange interest to our partners.

I'll leave the explanation of "why" some people like this to some of the other users who I think would give a better answer than myself but I can tell you that often this kink comes about from a significant event in childhood when the brain is still developing sexually. What that significant even is could really be anything, and there's likely a lot of reasons other than this but I'm sure it's the most common root.

I hope we can be of help in some way, even just as somewhere to vent. This website is many things but primarily it's a support group so feel free to use it as such. All the best to you and your man!

I can chime in on that. For many here, it isn't a kink (or fetish) at all. Being a DL is an ingrained compulsory part of who we are. We are drawn to literally love wearing diapers (hence it's name). Often for reasone we ourselves don't understand.

By witholding this part of us from our significant others, we are denying them from knowing our true and full selves. To an extent, we are lying about who we are to them. On the other hand, telling others lets them into our lives and reduces the stress we feel from trying to hide or deny our diapers.

As a benefit to those we tell, they will then know we trust them with out inner most desires, thereby bringing them closer to us. We also save them from accidentslly stumbling across our hidden "stash" (which we all know is inevitable anyways). And that of course saves them from jumping to the old misconclusions (such as we're sick or pedophiles).

It's a win- win for them to know and us to stop worrying about it.
 
Thank you for the kind words. I truly think if he can finally be fully honest with me we will only grow a stronger bond. I met the man when I was 11 and it was love at first sight for me♡ took him a couple more years till I got his attention if ya know what I mean lol!

I really hope reading peoples stories in here will help him and I. He would like to be friends with another couple like us. We live in such a small town the kind where everyone knows everyone. It's a bit of a backwards thinking town. Lots of gossip.....so I'm sure we will be utilizing the site very much.

I agree with slomo any time he has had a stash or secret anything it was inevitable I always found out one way or another. Then we fought screamed never a good way to end the day. He would feel two inches tall and wanna leave feeling not good enough to be with me, and I would feel like the most awful unloving person around. I think hes finally hitting the point of i cant keep doing this for both our sakes.

I truly think he wears diapers cause he is a cross dresser as well and he gets to feel like an adult woman why wouldn't he want to expierence to cild-baby side too.

He always reassures me that he loves me and only me. Our future is us. Which I love to hear because I would hate to see it change. But all I really want is for him to be happy and if that's loving me yes! If not well we would go from there I guess.
 
I agree that joining this site and spending some time reading other's stories is likely to shake away some of your husband's shyness. The matter of self-acceptance comes up a lot and I like to think we generally have a pretty positive impact on mental health.
 
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