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Thread: Why hide?

  1. #1

    Default Why hide?


    Disclaimer up front: It's entirely possible I'm misreading some stuff. if so, please let me know.

    I've been reading many of the posts, including the commandments, and it seems that there's a big drive on this board to hide what we do from the rest of the world. Why?

    Is it really rude to the rest of the world to "impose" your diaper on them by not hiding it? (If I told someone around here that gays should not hold hands in public, I know I'd be in trouble) It's one thing to smell up the joint, or to try and get your rocks off using other people, but I don't see the problem with just going about life, and not worrying to hide it from people. If they see, then they'll know someone has diapers. If you're generally polite, and not acting like a fool, I would think this would be GOOD for the dl community, not bad for it.

    Am I missing something important?
    Am I misreading the material I've read thus far?

    Thanks for helping me understand.

    -- Thad

  2. #2


    The general idea is that you don't have to go to extreme lengths to hide what we do from the rest of the world, but you should in know who indulge in any 'exhibitionist' behavior, such as:

    * Intentionally wearing a diaper in a way that will clearly expose it to the people around you

    * Intentionally messing yourself in public.

    * Walking out of your house in just a diaper and a onesie.

    * Walking around in a diaper and a t-shirt in a hotel with the full knowledge and hope that many people will see you. (Yes, I did take this example from a thread, but I added something to it to make the implication different.)


    The reason for this is that, unfortunately, *BDL activites can actually be very disgusting to some, or more accurately "many", people. Or perhaps simply "creepy" or "strange".

    In any case: If a person does something that clearly makes other people uncomfortable or uneasy, and continues to do so with the full knowledge that he is making those people uncomfortable / uneasy, then it is deemed to be a wrong thing to do.

    To quickly walk a few feet in a pair of their shoes: If you were eating at a restaurant, would you think it were appropriate, or even respectful to the public around you, if the two people in the table next to you were loudly discussing / announcing how much they enjoyed eating feces and other "scat" activities?

    It's the same basic idea.


    As long as you are fairly discreet about your fetish, you don't need to completely hide it. But you shouldn't make any attempts to announce it to the world. If you want to wear diapers in public, that's great. But wear clothing over the diaper, and make sure that the clothing will completely cover it, or at least cover it to the best of your ability.


  3. #3


    The way I look at this is it is not really hiding what you do, it is being considerate to other people. They do not want to smell your feces, or see you walking around in a onesie, or diaper.

  4. #4


    All we're asking is that the members of this fetish be discreet. When you aren't discreet, and you indulge in exhibitionist behaviour, you are forcing your fetish on other people. And, most of the time, those other people do NOT want to see what you wack off to. Honestly, to them Normies it's just nasty. They don't want to see your diaper or hear about what you did in your diaper. You want to be considerate to them because they never asked to participate in your fetish.

    This is different from gays holding hands in public. Gays are people, not inanimate objects. It's different because people can fall in love, and when they're in love (no matter the genders) they have the right to show their affection to each other to an acceptable extent (such as holding hands; there is a point that can be reached, such as having sex in public, and when you cross that point it again turns into exhibition, which no one asked to see). A diaper is not a person. A diaper can not show affection. A diaper can not love you back. Liking diapers is a sexual fetish (or emotional thing for you ABs), and so needs to be kept private from other people who did not specificaly ask to see it.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by thad View Post
    . . . (If I told someone around here that gays should not hold hands in public, I know I'd be in trouble) . . . .

    . . . .Am I missing something important? . . . .
    Yes. A whole lot, actually.

    My sexual orientation (and yours) is not in the category of "fetish."

    In no sense are they the same thing.

    And in no way will I ever agree with the proposition that as a gay man, I should keep myself invisible. So I'd appreciate it if you refrained from tying me to the question of whether it's politic to wear diapers openly in public. It's not the same question.

    Having said that, I do acknowledge that public expression of one's sexuality, beyond orientation, is a thorny question. If you mean that your diapers are obvious at your waistline and by bulging, I see no problem.

    But if you mean strolling down the street in diapers (read: underwear) alone, I don't think we are there yet. Maybe it is a desirable goal, but we're not there. The guideline I respect is this: If underwear only is acceptable where you are, or clothing is optional altogether, go for it.

    Otherwise respect those around you.

  6. #6


    I hide it merely because it's nobody's business but my own.

  7. #7


    I say we should hide it for the pure reason that it is a 1 way, emotional or sexual thing - (as does Soren456) It is not like sexuality, where we are allowed to show who we like by hold hands
    (Boys + Girls, Girls + Girls, Boys + Boys = ALL THE SAME!!!)

    For fetishists think about it like this - would you want to be walking down the street and see someone with a dog collar on have some light bondage on them, or to do anything else that is fetishistic in public - most likely NO!

    For ABs - coz its a 1-way emotional thing, you can show your affection to diapers, but why should anyone else want to see that??, as long as you wear DISCRETELY then all is fair, obvious = unfair on everyone else

    (sorry for the maths stuff, doing Maths H/W)

  8. #8


    ok, I'm sorry, I apparently misread the board, as I thought it was much less "be discrete" and much more "don't get caught"

    Thanks for the clarification.

    -- Thad

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by thad View Post
    ok, I'm sorry, I apparently misread the board, as I thought it was much less "be discrete" and much more "don't get caught"

    Thanks for the clarification.

    -- Thad
    No problem.

    To be specific:

    If it's anything regarding wearing in public or being open about it, etc., you'll see a lot of "Be discreet.".

    If it's anything involving parents, or wearing in secrecy, etc., you'll see a lot of "Don't get caught!".

  10. #10


    In the end, it (mostly) just comes down to being afraid of what other people think. And usually with good reason. People can be total jerks about infantilism, not to mention millions of other things.

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