New to the forum
- Thread starter mrlibrary
- Start date
- Status
LilStar
Contributor
- Messages
- 8
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Little
- Incontinent
First off, thanks for your service.
Secondly, I must say, your demeanor on the entire situation is not only enlightening, but encouraging. I understand the "careful what you wish for" mentality, because it happens to be the case with me, sort of. It's just really food to see someone look at it in a more positive light compared to myself, I guess. You put a spin on it that I feel I need more. Just gotta push through it, I guess.
Anyway, I digress. Hey!
Sent from my SM-S903VL using Tapatalk
Secondly, I must say, your demeanor on the entire situation is not only enlightening, but encouraging. I understand the "careful what you wish for" mentality, because it happens to be the case with me, sort of. It's just really food to see someone look at it in a more positive light compared to myself, I guess. You put a spin on it that I feel I need more. Just gotta push through it, I guess.
Anyway, I digress. Hey!
Sent from my SM-S903VL using Tapatalk
ozziebee
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 240
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
Hiya MrLibrary,
+1 on "thank you for your service". You guys are _legends_ in my eyes (and if you wear a boonie hat with a long gun, even more of a legend!).
Anyway, it's good that you're going to get checked out.
With regard to "The fact people are going to notice I am wearing diapers, that starts to get into the public realm", there's no reason why they should ever have to find out. I started a thread in Diapers section here called "Diaper Confidence 101". In that I pointed out that, though we're completely aware we're wearing, and hearing the crinkles of nappies and plastic/PUL pants at home, when we're in public, the background noise is way too loud for others to hear.
And besides, they're not consciously searching for crinkle-butt noises.
So, if you do wear in public, and you're wearing everyday normal loose-fitting clothing over your diaper, noone will notice.
There are also strategies to minimise/contain smells after accidents, which you should do some research on. For instance, don't just rely on your diaper, but also consider plastic or PUL-based pants (like the Gary Activewear pants).
Take the security of wearing diapers, cash it in, and buy confidence
+1 on "thank you for your service". You guys are _legends_ in my eyes (and if you wear a boonie hat with a long gun, even more of a legend!).
Anyway, it's good that you're going to get checked out.
With regard to "The fact people are going to notice I am wearing diapers, that starts to get into the public realm", there's no reason why they should ever have to find out. I started a thread in Diapers section here called "Diaper Confidence 101". In that I pointed out that, though we're completely aware we're wearing, and hearing the crinkles of nappies and plastic/PUL pants at home, when we're in public, the background noise is way too loud for others to hear.
And besides, they're not consciously searching for crinkle-butt noises.
So, if you do wear in public, and you're wearing everyday normal loose-fitting clothing over your diaper, noone will notice.
There are also strategies to minimise/contain smells after accidents, which you should do some research on. For instance, don't just rely on your diaper, but also consider plastic or PUL-based pants (like the Gary Activewear pants).
Take the security of wearing diapers, cash it in, and buy confidence
ProudPaddedBro
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 151
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
Dear Mr. Library,
You served our country for TWENTY years. As far as I'm concerned, you wear whenever you damn well feel like it with your head held high. You've paid your debt to society MANY times over. If anyone has the guts to even give you a dirty glance, God help them.
I hope your exam at the VA goes well. Do keep us in the loop ( if you're okay with sharing)
~PPB
You served our country for TWENTY years. As far as I'm concerned, you wear whenever you damn well feel like it with your head held high. You've paid your debt to society MANY times over. If anyone has the guts to even give you a dirty glance, God help them.
I hope your exam at the VA goes well. Do keep us in the loop ( if you're okay with sharing)
~PPB
Well I missed the original post, which has been removed for whatever reason.
Welcome to ADISC though. I'm also a disabled vet (usmc), and of course incontinent. The VA will make you fight for every penny, just know you don't have to accept the percent disability rating they give you if you don't think it's enough.
If you're on the east coast, don't expect the VA to provide you with even mediocre diapers either. I think I'm about to sue them for failing to provide my medically necessary diapers. Those paper thin things they call diapers are a literal punch below the belt line. Don't bother trying to make them work for you either. It won't work- I should know. Just get a bigh eniugh rating to pay for your diapers yourself.
A couple more pro tips for you. Never look at the cost of each diaper individually. Look at them as a cost per day. As example, a $.50 diaper that needs changing every two hours will cost $6.00 per day. A premium diaper that costs $1.50 each can easily last 8 hours, costing $4.50 per day.
Also, a thin diaper that has leaked is WAY more noticable than a thick one that's done its job. We are hyper aware of our diapers, others truly and simply do not notice unless you make it plainly obvious. Try to not worry about being outed and just wear what you need.
Welcome to ADISC though. I'm also a disabled vet (usmc), and of course incontinent. The VA will make you fight for every penny, just know you don't have to accept the percent disability rating they give you if you don't think it's enough.
If you're on the east coast, don't expect the VA to provide you with even mediocre diapers either. I think I'm about to sue them for failing to provide my medically necessary diapers. Those paper thin things they call diapers are a literal punch below the belt line. Don't bother trying to make them work for you either. It won't work- I should know. Just get a bigh eniugh rating to pay for your diapers yourself.
A couple more pro tips for you. Never look at the cost of each diaper individually. Look at them as a cost per day. As example, a $.50 diaper that needs changing every two hours will cost $6.00 per day. A premium diaper that costs $1.50 each can easily last 8 hours, costing $4.50 per day.
Also, a thin diaper that has leaked is WAY more noticable than a thick one that's done its job. We are hyper aware of our diapers, others truly and simply do not notice unless you make it plainly obvious. Try to not worry about being outed and just wear what you need.
AnalogRTO
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 643
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
mrlibrary said:
This is one of those places where you won't get flamed over it nor someone coming at you with weird sexual advances. It's one of the safest places I've found to discuss issues like ours, and to do so in relative anonymity (as anonymous as you want to be). People here WILL help you, whether it is with trying to get things fixed to where you don't need protection or trying to find the right level of protection that works for you.
Sometimes it helps to find that there are others out there in this world who fight through similar troubles to ours. That's why we sometimes put all this out on the internet.
I know, I'm sorry. I apologize for deleting it. That was unfair of me. My crap memory won't let me reconstruct it.
Short version: Older guy, retired vet, have had dl/regression fantasies/paraphilia since early childhood, now having bowel urge incontinence issues and dealing with the guilt/shame/etc and trying to think of the positives of it. Decided I need to start wearing a diaper while working a job that requires long distance driving and meeting customers at the end of the drive.
So finally did that this weekend. It wasn't so bad. I have a discreet setup, and actually, it's pretty comfortable. Didn't have any accidents, (they're not common (yet, anyway), once every few or couple weeks maybe for the last year) so no messes to clean up.
It gives one a very nice feeling that is a mix of vulnerable-but-protected. Like riding the edge of what a little calls "littlespace" but never out of your adult mindset or awareness. Kind of surprisingly, though I AM getting older and the libido isn't what it once was, there was very little sexual feeling about it all...and that wasn't a bad thing either. Time was, just thinking of wearing a diaper would be a turn-on. Now considering if I need/want to just wear a diaper at home and to bed too and not have to worry so much there.
For the last year, I've been working with my diet to find a cause, tried supplements and whatnot. Not stopped the problem. Finally just talked to my doctor and have scheduled a colonoscopy. Then I suppose a gastro doc and see from there.
So, dealing with the problem, working through the emotional baggage.
Short version: Older guy, retired vet, have had dl/regression fantasies/paraphilia since early childhood, now having bowel urge incontinence issues and dealing with the guilt/shame/etc and trying to think of the positives of it. Decided I need to start wearing a diaper while working a job that requires long distance driving and meeting customers at the end of the drive.
So finally did that this weekend. It wasn't so bad. I have a discreet setup, and actually, it's pretty comfortable. Didn't have any accidents, (they're not common (yet, anyway), once every few or couple weeks maybe for the last year) so no messes to clean up.
It gives one a very nice feeling that is a mix of vulnerable-but-protected. Like riding the edge of what a little calls "littlespace" but never out of your adult mindset or awareness. Kind of surprisingly, though I AM getting older and the libido isn't what it once was, there was very little sexual feeling about it all...and that wasn't a bad thing either. Time was, just thinking of wearing a diaper would be a turn-on. Now considering if I need/want to just wear a diaper at home and to bed too and not have to worry so much there.
For the last year, I've been working with my diet to find a cause, tried supplements and whatnot. Not stopped the problem. Finally just talked to my doctor and have scheduled a colonoscopy. Then I suppose a gastro doc and see from there.
So, dealing with the problem, working through the emotional baggage.
AnalogRTO
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 643
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
mrlibrary said:
Yeah, there's a lot that goes through our minds when it comes to dealing with this, especially when we're coming to terms with the fact that this isn't just something we enjoy from time to time, but something we need to help us in our lives. When it happens to those of us who are strongly independent, people who take pride in being able to do everything on their own, it's can be rough to come to terms with. I know I'm not happy with the fact that there are a huge number of things I'm relying on my wife to help me with right now (I broke my heel a few weeks ago, just had a plate and seven screws put into it last week), and I try to do as much as I can myself. Add into that the doctor wants me off of work until the middle of December (at least I've got a job where they'll still pay me while on medical leave) and you get frustrated as hell.
Feel free to come on here and talk to people about your troubles with this. We are more than happy to share our experiences and help work through the emotional baggage together.
Yeah, no worries about the post. Your issues are more common than you might think too.
Personally, I have also been a life long dl. When I became incontinent and needed diapers it was really hard on me. I felt guilty for secretely liking diapers and having an excuse to finally wear them all the time. It took me a while, but eventually I realized the stigma and social chastizing diapers get are completely unfounded. I stopped being a fraid if what others "might" think of me, and resolved my guilt issues. Now I just go on with my life and enjoy my diapers.
Personally, I have also been a life long dl. When I became incontinent and needed diapers it was really hard on me. I felt guilty for secretely liking diapers and having an excuse to finally wear them all the time. It took me a while, but eventually I realized the stigma and social chastizing diapers get are completely unfounded. I stopped being a fraid if what others "might" think of me, and resolved my guilt issues. Now I just go on with my life and enjoy my diapers.
mrlibrary said:
Exactly! That's why I believe being a dl is an integral part of who we are. It stays with us for life, and our....attitude, towards diapers shapes so many of our decisions and aspects of life. For a select few, it can even be a controlling factor if were compelled towards them enough.
So I went in to talk to my doctor this afternoon at the V.A. When we're done, she hands me my checkout sheet, and a big line says: "Incontinent of bowel x 1 year". It's like this big machine suddenly put a big label on me, officially making me a poopy-pants in the V.A.'s eyes. I'm thinking: "wait...what about all the times I made it to the toilet?" Nope...one strike (or a dozen) and you're incontinent, it seems.
ltaluv
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 998
- Role
- Incontinent
There is always the question of how many incontinence episodes, or how often, are required to really make one incontinent, or to really require diapers for a medical need. Is once a day often enough? Of course. Once a week? Probably. Once a month? It will depend on the individual and the nature of the accidents. A small wet spot on your pants once a month maybe wouldn't be viewed as truly incontinent, but significant loss of bowel contents once a month probably would.
At some point, though, the question isn't really that relevant. Only you can decide if your incontinence is severe enough to require diapers or medical treatment. The VA, your doctor, or society at large do not have the power to define you.
The key for me is letting go of my feelings of guilt. It's very difficult sometimes, but I have to remind myself that I'm wearing diapers because I need them, not because I like them. If I like them, well, that takes some of the sting out of having to wear them, but I'd need them regardless.
It's easy to get wrapped up in feelings of shame over incontinence and diapers, but don't fall into that trap. Nobody needs to feel ashamed of wearing diapers for any reason they choose, but even aside from that, you're dealing with a very real medical issue. Set aside your shame, deal with it as best you can, and hold your head high.
At some point, though, the question isn't really that relevant. Only you can decide if your incontinence is severe enough to require diapers or medical treatment. The VA, your doctor, or society at large do not have the power to define you.
The key for me is letting go of my feelings of guilt. It's very difficult sometimes, but I have to remind myself that I'm wearing diapers because I need them, not because I like them. If I like them, well, that takes some of the sting out of having to wear them, but I'd need them regardless.
It's easy to get wrapped up in feelings of shame over incontinence and diapers, but don't fall into that trap. Nobody needs to feel ashamed of wearing diapers for any reason they choose, but even aside from that, you're dealing with a very real medical issue. Set aside your shame, deal with it as best you can, and hold your head high.
Try to also think of diapers as NOT being some kind of ball and chain that displays shame and embarrassment to those around you. Instead, think of diapers as a concealed little device that help free you to continue and move on with your life.
- Messages
- 3,417
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
So true.Slomo said:
AnalogRTO
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 643
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
mrlibrary said:
Don't let the doctor's notes be what defines your conditions. I see an endocrinologist for hypogonadism caused by loss of both testicles, and because most patients they see are diabetic, they constantly check me to see whether or not I'm anywhere near that condition (helpful hint: they consider EVERYONE to be bordering on diabetic). One month, my A1C level had gone up slightly, and they brought it to my attention. OK, simple, cut back on some things, watch the diet better, and the next month it was back to normal. Of course, now their notes say 'pre-diabetes' for one of my conditions and it sticks throughout the damn health network. Computers have made it such that all the information is easily available, but also such that one error will stay there forever.
- Status