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So it's been about a month since I last posted here, since then I got rid of my diapers and then regretted it later. That was the second time this year I did that and I've only worn 3 times this year. My issue is when I'm done wearing one I feel really shameful and anxious (tmi I rarely go number 2 in my diaper but I messed the other day and had a panic attack while showering off) which contradicts why I use them in the first place. I can't even get off while wearing them because of how it makes me feel after, which is weird because it's only a sexual thing now when I don't have any, when I do, it's just for enjoyment. I'm really torn between longing to wear diapers and act little and wishing that I just didn't have these desires and it's got me really messed up. Can anyone share experiences and advice to help me get over this?