indigodl
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 57
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Sissy
It's been several weeks since I finally stopped attempting to suppress my DL side after 30 years and put on my first diaper. Since then I've been through pretty much all the text book roller coaster emotions from the AMAZING calming of that initial diaper to the "oh hell what have I done!" feeling of guilt and shame.
Over the last few weeks that roller coaster has smoothed out somewhat and I think (or hope!) that I'm well on the path to accepting this long repressed side of me. (At least after taking off a nice wet diaper I don't have that feeling of shame, more a feeling of "that was FUN! Can't wait to do it again!").
The odd thing is that since I finally told myself that it's OK, I've felt a lot calmer day to day, maybe attempting to repress this for so long really did have an effect on me. What I've also realised is that you only get to repress something like this for so long. You can only kick that can down the road, but eventually you have to address it.
Due to society, this is a tough thing to go through as you can't just discuss it with anybody, so I sat and 'suffered' alone. I'm just happy that such a place as ADISC exists. I've spent many an hour reading through old forum posts that have have both helped me with my thoughts/feelings, as well as made me laugh at situations that only people here would understand. Sometimes it feels like I've finally joined a secret club
Anyway, thanks to everybody that have helped, especially Trevor who offered me some great advice about learning to accept, advise I think about daily.
Over the last few weeks that roller coaster has smoothed out somewhat and I think (or hope!) that I'm well on the path to accepting this long repressed side of me. (At least after taking off a nice wet diaper I don't have that feeling of shame, more a feeling of "that was FUN! Can't wait to do it again!").
The odd thing is that since I finally told myself that it's OK, I've felt a lot calmer day to day, maybe attempting to repress this for so long really did have an effect on me. What I've also realised is that you only get to repress something like this for so long. You can only kick that can down the road, but eventually you have to address it.
Due to society, this is a tough thing to go through as you can't just discuss it with anybody, so I sat and 'suffered' alone. I'm just happy that such a place as ADISC exists. I've spent many an hour reading through old forum posts that have have both helped me with my thoughts/feelings, as well as made me laugh at situations that only people here would understand. Sometimes it feels like I've finally joined a secret club
Anyway, thanks to everybody that have helped, especially Trevor who offered me some great advice about learning to accept, advise I think about daily.