Giving up on trying to hold it?

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mayhem

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
I have neurogenic bladder and the spasms make me lose control. Sometimes I have about 15-30 seconds notice before I lose control. Sometimes I've wet myself with out even knowing. I've had Botox done and ended up having to be catheterized because it worked too well.
I take some days off from being cathed now that the Botox is finally wearing off. Those days I just wet my diaper and don't even bother trying to make it to the bathroom because I know it's a lost cause. Anyone else in the same boat, where they know they won't make it so they don't even bother trying to hold it?
 
mayhem said:
I have neurogenic bladder and the spasms make me lose control. Sometimes I have about 15-30 seconds notice before I lose control. Sometimes I've wet myself with out even knowing. I've had Botox done and ended up having to be catheterized because it worked too well.
I take some days off from being cathed now that the Botox is finally wearing off. Those days I just wet my diaper and don't even bother trying to make it to the bathroom because I know it's a lost cause. Anyone else in the same boat, where they know they won't make it so they don't even bother trying to hold it?

Unfortunately I am/was. I tried botox twice, same results as you which didn't work. I even went so far as trying Interstim. What a horrible experience that was. It even left me worse off by frying my sacral nerve too.

Yes, I would say you are better off just relying on diapers 24/7. Don't fight it by trying to still hold your pee to. My doing that led to a horrible dyssynergia that left me unavle to pee at all.

After SEVEN more surgeries to open me back up I still can't pee at all right now (I have a suprapubic catheter in till my next surgery). Trust me on this, not being able to pee is way worse than relying on diapers and peeing uncontrollably.
 
If your urge incon is bad, I think it's a losing battle especially if you have goals and ambitions. I've never been able to hold it very long (bladder and bowels), but I fought it for many years (e.g. bathroom mapping and rushing to make it). After a couple of health issues at age 36, my OAB and IBS became so bad, there was no choice but to wear protection 24/7. Can I still make it to the toilet? Sure I can, maybe half the time, only if I'm very close to a toilet and not doing anything important. Well, I'm often not close to one and extremely busy. I'm not purposefully wetting and/or messing myself I'm just purposefully living my life the way I want to live my life. If I was getting disability checks, not socializing with anyone and sitting around the house every day watching TV, I'd be able to make it to the toilet more often. I manage my incon so I can live the way I want to live. I don't let it manage me.
 
Slomo said:
Unfortunately I am/was. I tried botox twice, same results as you which didn't work. I even went so far as trying Interstim. What a horrible experience that was. It even left me worse off by frying my sacral nerve too.

Yes, I would say you are better off just relying on diapers 24/7. Don't fight it by trying to still hold your pee to. My doing that led to a horrible dyssynergia that left me unavle to pee at all.

After SEVEN more surgeries to open me back up I still can't pee at all right now (I have a suprapubic catheter in till my next surgery). Trust me on this, not being able to pee is way worse than relying on diapers and peeing uncontrollably.

Oh god yes. After back surgery, I couldn't pee for about six weeks and had to catheterize myself which was no fun. I was so glad when things kicked in. I hope you get better soon, Slomo. You've had a rough time of it.
 
Accepting the facts is a good thing, I guess. You have much time to change and fight for make thing better in really reversible problems.
 
I gave up my fight with bladder control and switched to nappies 24/7 about 5 years ago and have never regretted it.
 
I'm with ya... If I know I can't make it, I don't bother holding it. Sometimes feels a little lazy to not even try, but honestly, that is why we wear diapers. You're in good company here...
 
I have urge urinary incontinence and have worn a diaper 24/7/365 for a little over 30 years. When one of my “urges” strikes, I have anywhere from 5 seconds up to maybe 5 minutes before I have to let go and pee in my diaper because the “urge” becomes progressively stronger and more painful when I try to hold back. If I happen to be near a bathroom when an “urge” happens, I use it. But I use my diaper more than half the time and always at night.
 
Same for me. About 10 sec notice, excepted when the bladder is very full or filled quickly, then I go. At night I go up maximum one time.


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Slomo, my urologist is about to recommend the interstim. Do you have more details about what happened to you with it?


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You can try training your kegels - they are really great for bladder control, although it takes some time to really feel the difference. I can vouch for it though as a friend of mine who had very little bladder control - but still had it trained them for over a year and his control has definitely improved, but you have to patient and put some time into this. Especially if you decide to train only kegels, it will require some time and like 5x/week training as those muscles regenerate very fast. You should find some relevant advice on how to train it online, if not you can drop me a PM and I'll do my best to help you :) I wouldn't recommend wearing protection if you don't have as once you start feeling comfy with your "gear on" you won't come back from it.
 
Hi, my ability y to hold my bladder has worsened in past few years. I have had dribbling issues randomly also, and occasional bedwetting.. within the past few years I have had significant vision loss and moved to a new area, this my ability the easily find and navigate to a bathroom in time has been severely comprimised. Wearing and using diapers on a daily basis makes it possible for me to be as independent as I am.
 
Do you feel that what you eat and drink might affect incontinence? They do in me.

I recorded together in one list things I ate and drank with the time of day, and quantity of urine and time of day.

I wrote down in time order, and recorded any medicines too.
I often experienced urgency, and recorded times to the nearest 15 minutes.
I recorded on most days for six weeks.

To approximate urine quantity, I counted when urinating – 1,2,3,4,…..
(Counting can be a proxy for volume if counting speed is relatively consistent, and if my body urinates at a similar rate of outflow most times. Each individual count will not mean a lot, and there will be fluctuation in count speed anyway.)
I worked out the time interval between the various drinks and foods and when I urinated to see any patterns related to types of foods.
For several years my count was less than 10, (which takes about 8 seconds).
At presently I average 14, sometimes 30.
I have Urgency sometimes, and very seldom Pain.
Getting up in the night is now twice a week rather than twice a night.
My other incontinence symptoms are seldom.

Recording allowed me to identify change in frequency and volume,
And possibly any foods or drinks that trigger incontinence.
I am not saying that foods cause incontinence, but I am saying foods may trigger symptoms.
Some drinks affect me in less than half an hour, while some foods affect me most next day, and a few for two or three days after.

In order of severity, I avoid;
Stimulants (coffee, tea, and dark chocolate), nuts, peas, onions and peppers, fruit high in fructose sugar eg raisins, manufactured foods containing fructose syrup, and fizzy drinks.
D-tox with fruit smoothies is not good for me either.
Is my incontinence cured? No, but my life is fairly normal now.
I still have most symptoms ocassionally, and I have yet to determine triggers for leaking before urinating and dribble after - celery might be affecting my bladder neck valve, mainly next day. Urgency on proximity (closeness) to a toilet, eg as I arrive home, is an unknown.
Artificial sweeteners too.
Exercise cycling or running appears to influence frequency for me.
And a cold floor surface such as tiles if I have no footwear can lead to urgency.
Your body may well have different triggers from mine,
but I do think coffee and tea (which contain caffeine) are likely to affect many people.
 
I stopped worrying about making it to the bathroom about a year and a half ago even whe. I made it to the bathroom i would pee again shortly after leaving the bathroom. I still try to make it to the bathroom for bowel movments most times.
 
steved said:
Do you feel that what you eat and drink might affect incontinence? They do in me.

I recorded together in one list things I ate and drank with the time of day, and quantity of urine and time of day.

I wrote down in time order, and recorded any medicines too.
I often experienced urgency, and recorded times to the nearest 15 minutes.
I recorded on most days for six weeks.

To approximate urine quantity, I counted when urinating – 1,2,3,4,…..
(Counting can be a proxy for volume if counting speed is relatively consistent, and if my body urinates at a similar rate of outflow most times. Each individual count will not mean a lot, and there will be fluctuation in count speed anyway.)
I worked out the time interval between the various drinks and foods and when I urinated to see any patterns related to types of foods.
For several years my count was less than 10, (which takes about 8 seconds).
At presently I average 14, sometimes 30.
I have Urgency sometimes, and very seldom Pain.
Getting up in the night is now twice a week rather than twice a night.
My other incontinence symptoms are seldom.

Recording allowed me to identify change in frequency and volume,
And possibly any foods or drinks that trigger incontinence.
I am not saying that foods cause incontinence, but I am saying foods may trigger symptoms.
Some drinks affect me in less than half an hour, while some foods affect me most next day, and a few for two or three days after.

In order of severity, I avoid;
Stimulants (coffee, tea, and dark chocolate), nuts, peas, onions and peppers, fruit high in fructose sugar eg raisins, manufactured foods containing fructose syrup, and fizzy drinks.
D-tox with fruit smoothies is not good for me either.
Is my incontinence cured? No, but my life is fairly normal now.
I still have most symptoms ocassionally, and I have yet to determine triggers for leaking before urinating and dribble after - celery might be affecting my bladder neck valve, mainly next day. Urgency on proximity (closeness) to a toilet, eg as I arrive home, is an unknown.
Artificial sweeteners too.
Exercise cycling or running appears to influence frequency for me.
And a cold floor surface such as tiles if I have no footwear can lead to urgency.
Your body may well have different triggers from mine,
but I do think coffee and tea (which contain caffeine) are likely to affect many people.
After 20+ years I could care less about food my body doesn't realy like ,I avoid foods that will stink up my urine if I am going out the next day , other than that screw it I have made my peace with everything elimination related , I need diapers I wear diapers and live my life and enjoy it , doesn't matter if my body gives me those few seconds of warning or not because wrecking the place is not worth it, so diaper up and call it done .

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I don’t really see it as I gave up on making it to the bathroom as much as I gave up on beaten myself emotionally for something I can’t control. I have several degenerative conditions. My incontinence will only get worse. I just stopped beating myself up over it and accepted the facts. While it would be nice to have my continence back the reality is that it is not going to happen. I look at it more as accepting me for me.
 
dlinu said:
I don’t really see it as I gave up on making it to the bathroom as much as I gave up on beaten myself emotionally for something I can’t control. I have several degenerative conditions. My incontinence will only get worse. I just stopped beating myself up over it and accepted the facts. While it would be nice to have my continence back the reality is that it is not going to happen. I look at it more as accepting me for me.

Same here. Once you accept this it is far easier to move on.
 
I gave up on holding it fairly early after 24/7. As a result, my wetting control has almost completely collapsed and I've developed chronic bedwetting, but it still beats wet pants.
 
Kaliborio said:
I gave up on holding it fairly early after 24/7. As a result, my wetting control has almost completely collapsed and I've developed chronic bedwetting, but it still beats wet pants.

Same here. I wet the bed every night and have little if any control most of the time.
 
I also have a lot of pain/pressure/discomfort with trying to hold it. I can often hold it if I can drop what I'm doing and get to a restroom quickly, but if I've got my hands full of stuff, or I'm in a meeting that I can't just bolt out of, it's not worth putting up with the pain of the bladder spasms when I try to hold it, knowing that I'm not going to make it anyway.

I get Botox injections in my bladder about three times a year. They help me a lot with the urgency and pain, and usually I don't need diapers for two or three months after the injection. I do end up having to catheterize myself anywhere from six to ten times a day; the first few times of Botox I'd be able to stop cathing after a few weeks, but the past year and a half I've had to self-cath all the time. It took a few weeks to really get used to putting in a catheter - the first few days were painful, then it gradually went to just being uncomfortable, and that gradually reduced to where it just became a minor little thing. I hardly think about it anymore, it's just part of going to the bathroom.

It's a little frustrating when I can't (or don't) hold it when my bladder starts spasming, empty everything I can get out of my bladder into my diaper, and still feel an urgent need to pee afterwards because of the residual volume in my bladder. I end up still having to go change as soon as possible, and empty the rest of my bladder then.
 
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