indigodl
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 57
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Sissy
Hello!
I've been a diaper lover for a LONG time but never actually taken the plunge of buying diapers. For so long I've not understood those feelings and I've pushed and tried to squash that side of me. Then recently BAM all those repressed feelings just came flooding back and I knew I HAD to get into a diaper. (it turns out attempting to squash and kill these feelings over a lifetime doesn't work!)
Ended up buying some to see if trying one would satisfy this life long feeling, my thought process being "yeh, I'll find it a bit weird and that will be that". What I didn't realise was my brain was tricking me, and my god that first diaper was utter heaven, instant de-stress. That first pee (which was much harder than I thought it would be! was incredible).
Now my situation is a bit more complex because I've been married for 15 years to a quite vanilla wife and I've NEVER mentioned this to her or anybody. I realised I don't want have to suppress this side of me again (I'm not sure I even COULD now) and I need to accept it, but that means really explaining things to my wife.
I tried last night and I just couldn't get the words out, after 30 years the mental blocks I'd put around this were too strong and it felt like I was at the top of a 100ft tower looking down, shaking with palms sweating. Of course, then my brain starts thinking "so is this actually a real thing, are you REALLY going to try and tell your wife you like to wear diapers? Once this gets out, you can't get back!" and in the end I think she got fed up with me sitting there not quite able to get the words out and walked off saying "well if you're not going to tell me".
I felt such a let down, I'd worked for days and sleepless nights trying to work out the words, and I just couldn't get them out :-( Plus I hate to think what crazy things she thinks I was trying to say!
Anyway, I need to do this to accept myself, I don't want to feel like I'm having to live a lie anymore or that this side of me is crazy and that means trying again tonight to get this out and deal with whatever consequences come my way
I've been a diaper lover for a LONG time but never actually taken the plunge of buying diapers. For so long I've not understood those feelings and I've pushed and tried to squash that side of me. Then recently BAM all those repressed feelings just came flooding back and I knew I HAD to get into a diaper. (it turns out attempting to squash and kill these feelings over a lifetime doesn't work!)
Ended up buying some to see if trying one would satisfy this life long feeling, my thought process being "yeh, I'll find it a bit weird and that will be that". What I didn't realise was my brain was tricking me, and my god that first diaper was utter heaven, instant de-stress. That first pee (which was much harder than I thought it would be! was incredible).
Now my situation is a bit more complex because I've been married for 15 years to a quite vanilla wife and I've NEVER mentioned this to her or anybody. I realised I don't want have to suppress this side of me again (I'm not sure I even COULD now) and I need to accept it, but that means really explaining things to my wife.
I tried last night and I just couldn't get the words out, after 30 years the mental blocks I'd put around this were too strong and it felt like I was at the top of a 100ft tower looking down, shaking with palms sweating. Of course, then my brain starts thinking "so is this actually a real thing, are you REALLY going to try and tell your wife you like to wear diapers? Once this gets out, you can't get back!" and in the end I think she got fed up with me sitting there not quite able to get the words out and walked off saying "well if you're not going to tell me".
I felt such a let down, I'd worked for days and sleepless nights trying to work out the words, and I just couldn't get them out :-( Plus I hate to think what crazy things she thinks I was trying to say!
Anyway, I need to do this to accept myself, I don't want to feel like I'm having to live a lie anymore or that this side of me is crazy and that means trying again tonight to get this out and deal with whatever consequences come my way
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