accepting the facts

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redbullfiend

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  1. Little
  2. Incontinent
struggling a little bit to accept the fact i have to wear diapers 24/7 now. have had to wear at night since 2013 and that took awhile to accept but now daytime as well....i can think of 100 spots i get in that wearing a diaper will be a pain in the butt...literally. like my job for instance (when i do return after healing) bending over, twisting etc etc, my wife is on the look out for onesies in my size she is also going to attempt to make a few for me. we have to wear hi vis so we got a few t-shirts and shes going to see if she can craft one so i can just wear 1 shirt on job. (hot work, i work in asphalt). she a good sewer made me a few things so far.

ANYWAY.....im stuck at home with nothing to do so i rambled a bit :eek:

how did you accept the wearing in the day time and having to wear around work, restaurants, shopping, etc etc daily life?

i do understand it all literally boils down to this....it is what it is and i cant change it. so i have to accept it. but man its hard :sweatdrop:
 
Redbulfiend, I had to wear 24/7 one day to another and this had caused no issues,,except the fitness club/swimming. Firstly it is almost visible and you are right a onesie helps a lot. Pants over the diaper are also. Nobody had noticed anything and sometimes if is showing my wife tells me, but now after some months things are running perfectly.


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Sorry but it really just takes time and experience wearing them during the day.

We can all tell you nobody ever notices unless you make it completely obvious (this is where a onesie will help greatly). I can also say it's no big deal for most even when others do find out. I can even tell you there is absolutely nothing illegal nor imoral in wearing diapers. That your issues are a legitimate medical need for diapers.

There is absolutely no reason to be ashamed of this any more than showing off a cast for a broken arm. There's a lot more to say in defence of diapers too. Though in watching people here, I can say most of this just won't sink in right away. The only thing that truly and really helps is to face your fears of embarrassment head on.

Sooner or later you'll see diapers are just another type of underwear. One that helps up get on in our life, not end it.
 
Hey, I know exactly what you are going through. I know it's very hard at the beginning, but as I have mentioned somewhere else it all just takes time. At least it did for me, you can't keep worrying about - this will settle on its own terms, you just have to be patient and give it some time. The beginning is the worst, after that you get used to this pretty quickly. At the beginning I was going crazy as well, because those diapers were really not comfortable on me, it took me quite a while to make them neutral for me and few months more until I stopped realizing that I'm wearing them. Give it time and you definitely will feel during the day like you do during the night :)
 
From experience I can tell you , the hardest part of adjusting to diapers is worrying what other people think,it takes time to move past but you will and eventually the way you feel will change, I first compared what the diaper felt like as compared to underwear, and truthfully I can't remeber what anything but diapers feel like now and could care less what strangers may think negatively( and actually I have said many times ,people shelve there "diaper shame" and stuff if they think you need them, and become overly helpfull to make sure you have what you need) its fasicinating how people can jettison the emotions to help another person, but god help you if you try and get them to wear one themselves , you have a fight on your hands.

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We were sensitive about people seeing onesies or cloth diapers around the house or drying on the line. A long tee shirt is good for making. sure the diaper waistband is not on display. especially if tucked into briefs or boxers.Agree folk take knowing about inco in friends and colleagues well. Its not the taboo subject it once was.
 
I’ve been wearing a diaper 24/7 for my urge incontinence for about 30 years now. I used to worry about people finding out. However, the people who did find out for various reasons accepted the fact that I have a medical condition and need a diaper. The hardest thing was going back to exercising in the gym where guys in the change room would be able to clearly see that I was wearing a diaper. It took me a few years to get up the courage to resume regular workouts. However, none of the guys paid much attention to what kind of underwear I was wearing. I’m at the stage now where I still don’t broadcast the fact that I’m diapered, but I no longer worry about people knowing. I wear for a medical reason and everyone seems to understand and accept that.
 
my biggest scare factor that i am worried about happened to me yesterday at the store i dropped my wallet in the check out lane and bent right over to get it and when i stood up my shirt had rode up and my diapers ride a little high and were on full view. i though i was going to die from embarrassment and i just walked straight out. didn't even buy my stuff.
 
I'm pretty much on the same path. I've been wearing every night for about 20 years or so but daytime was never a problem. Now that I'm a bit older I'm starting to notice some dampness without even feeling it happen. I'm a total gym rat so I've been wearing a guard at the gym but it seems like that's not going to do the job. I do all the exercises my doctor tells me to but at the same time he tells me that while I may look a lot younger, my internal organs are the age that they are. I'm hoping to put this off long enough so that I can retire before having to go 24/7 at work and so forth but it doesn't look good. As previous posters have said, it's a legitimate need, not something I'm doing for fun.
 
A little flash like that no one probably even paid attention to anything but you picking up your wallet , yes when your new to diapers things feel awkward but after awhile you think back and be like what was i thinking that didn't matter to anything , I know it seems hard to imagine but I really it does ,it gets easier to the point where you take your life back and say screw what other people think , I don't care if it shows or someone knows your "protection" is actually a courtedy and respect for other people , i had an elderly neighbor who always wanted to "borrow" food, cigarettes money anything and everything why because she could ,but we learned fast not to let her into the house because she was IC didnt wear protection she stunk all the time and would urinate werever she was sitting down be that your kitchen your couch or your lawn , having zero respect for other peoples furniture, you wear a diaper and the continent should say thank you ! Instead of oh does that adult have a diaper on.

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redbullfiend said:
my biggest scare factor that i am worried about happened to me yesterday at the store i dropped my wallet in the check out lane and bent right over to get it and when i stood up my shirt had rode up and my diapers ride a little high and were on full view. i though i was going to die from embarrassment and i just walked straight out. didn't even buy my stuff.

Why were you so embarrased? Did somone behind you call you out or laugh at you for being diapered?
 
kids say the darndest things. a lady who was behind me had a 5 year old and he pointed and said look mommy thats a diaper. just one of those in the moment things that really got to me.
 
redbullfiend said:
kids say the darndest things. a lady who was behind me had a 5 year old and he pointed and said look mommy thats a diaper. just one of those in the moment things that really got to me.

So then was his comment made as a condescending remark or joke then? Just a matter of fact observation? Sorry but I'm not following why it was embarrassing moment. So you got outed by a little kid. And?
 
never having experienced that before was a shock for me. i am an extremely shy person as it is. for me that was hard to deal with.
 
redbullfiend said:
never having experienced that before was a shock for me. i am an extremely shy person as it is. for me that was hard to deal with.

Ah ok. We all handle being out differently. Just try to remind yourself diapers are neither illegal nor imoral. There is no rational reason to be embarassed for wearing one (no matter the reason). You just have to accept the facts, right.
 
i should be happy that they allow me to still do everything i love to do or need to do. its just that stigma and the hush hush of it all that makes it embarassing. at least for me. i know why i should be ok with it but making myself ok with it is whats is hard. thin skinned to say the least.
 
redbullfiend said:
i should be happy that they allow me to still do everything i love to do or need to do. its just that stigma and the hush hush of it all that makes it embarassing. at least for me. i know why i should be ok with it but making myself ok with it is whats is hard. thin skinned to say the least.
I know it's small consolation but please know that you're not alone in this. I dread the day this happens to me, I think it's inevitable but you know what? I'll deal with it when it happens. I beat cancer, I think I can deal with someone seeing my diaper.
 
I used to be so embarrassed walking into our local Walmart to buy the incontinence underwear I use throughout the daytime. I order my overnights online so I don't worry there. After awhile though I got over it. Nothing is wrong with having to use them. And they are definitely not hurting the people around you.
It gets easier.
:)
 
The embarrassment thing is very real- but so is the reality of not many people -especially strangers bothering much. Before I was IC I did realise one or two people i came across were wearing pads or diapers. My reaction then was "good for them,they have a way to cope and are getting on with life". Children will comment and speak the unspeakable (remember the Emperors new clothes fable) without malicious intent. Iv'e posted above about my tucked in tee shirt answer to the waist band problem. I don't have leaks often, but wear black or very dark pants most of the time to avoid leaks being obvious if they happen. And I never sit on light colored fabric upholstered furniture!

On the positive side I have sat serenely, but inwardly damply, in major traffic hold-ups that have had other drivers and passengers desperately finding places to pee.

Buying diapers needs the mindset that you are disinterested in the product-just getting it for a IC person -who just happens to be you. I did for a while use my wife's loyalty card when purchasing diapers so the assistant would see "Mrs Mary" on the card. But given the acres of product on display -esp in USA diapers for adults must be such big business that no one bats an eyelid or tries to work out who is wearing what.
 
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