Prairie
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cm90210 said:Her biggest concern is her own sense of embarrassment being attached to me as I go to surgery. In other words, if I were going alone, and she wouldn't have to interact with any of the staff or anything she wouldn't care what I wanted to do. But because she'll kind of be "in on the secret" that I sort of need diapers, but primarily need/like them psychologically (and that's weird). She feels like she'll have to hold up the other end of the bargain and "act normal" like I would be doing, and that's an embarrassing prospect for her. All this, i guess I understand. I mean, my first impulse regarding diapers is that its shameful and embarrassing as well. The public/cultural relationship to diapers in America is that it IS something to be ashamed of (even if you actually need them for physical abnormalities or problems). And all of this says nothing of the erroneous fetish/pedophile judgments people have about those of us who like to wear them for fun.
I hadn't noticed all the pages of discussion when I replied before.
For me it helps to recognize that there's little shameful about wearing diapers, that it's almost all conditioned shame perhaps used by parents to try to prod their children out of diapers (which karmically comes back to haunt parents who live to be old and need diapers and feel bad about them). Seeing this it's clear there's no reason to buy into this conditioning. So the question is how to manage the interface between yourselves and the wider world, who does buy into it.
Your wife is probably afraid of what others might think, and how that will affect their perception of her, and how they will treat her in the future and possible loss of consideration. This too seems pretty simple: do you want to live your life in fear of others' perceptions of you, cramping your living, or let them have their discomfort and save the fear for only those that can do great damage to you? It's especially easy to try to suppress others to assuage this fear, rather than face it and support those around you.