A question for all of you autistic AB/Littles...

Do you think your autism is often influenced by you being an AB/Little? Why, or why not? Try not to turn this into a debate. I'm just asking you to share your own personal thoughts on this.

I also didn't know where else to put this, so I'm putting it in the off topic forum. I had originally posted this in the ASD group, but there were only two people who posted... and it didn't really provide me with much support as to whether I'm alone here or if others on the spectrum feel the same way I do.


For me, I think me being a little really is an autism or other disability thing. The reason is because I also have a lot of developmental and intellectual delays. I can't even tell myself I'm an adult without wanting to scream... yeah, I am aware that I am one... and that will never change... I just feel that much of my little side often comes from those delays that I have as well. Even my parents believe that much of my little tendencies are just part of my autism. They don't even know I am a little either.

Again, they see it as part of my autism... how I act like a little child and what not. Being autistic/disabled gives me the chance to keep being the child I was meant to be while they keep whatever views they have about me. There was a time when my mom used to hate me carrying around or buying stuffed animals. Nowadays, she's accepted it as being just part of my autism.

So yeah... your thoughts?

I am not autistic but 3 cheers for your mom surrendering her stupid adult crap ,i have more stuffies as an adult then I ever had as kid,i had one as kid that when i was taken away from my father disappered along with everything else i owned , I have been making up for that ever since I got my first job !

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I know I already responded to your original post in the group chat, but I would like the public to know so this is a condensed version of what I said on the subject:
For myself I have come to think of my little side as a hybrid between my autism and my actual desire to remain little. I had developmental delays in breastfeeding (I was breastfed until 3.5 years), I also slept with stuffed animals until the end of my freshman year in high school and I didn't get fully potty trained until 4 (in diapers until 3, in pull-ups until 4). I always had kid like impulses even in high school, which left unchecked, could get me into trouble.

My desire to remain little is a result of my divergent personality as I was abused in the first grade by my first substitute teacher. That event split my overall personality down the middle with the little side and the adult side. Further abuse, by teachers and students alike, widened the gap between those sides giving me a more personality switch, in which certain events, symbols or other things triggered my little side to either lash out in anger or come out in innocence. Over time, I slowly lost the bountiful love I once received from my mother and father. Also, due to social pressure, I forced myself to grow up before my time. I am just functional enough to be told to get a job and go to university and for that I do have a brilliant mind. The problem is that the social structure that I have been taught to emulate is considered rude in this modern era. I pass by most students in college who are messaging their friends on facebook, twitter or snapchatting their day. Whenever I try to talk to them, they brush me aside or look at me as if I am crazy. Whenever I try to make new connections the number one question that everyone who talks to me asks is "Do you have a Social Media Account?" When I say no to the social media question, they move the conversation somewhere else and never contact me again. The social isolation of not being thoroughly addicted to social media frustrates me beyond all measure. For being in a traditional sense of looking up, but still embracing technology, is the middleman in the world of confusion that has sprung from this digital age. My generation does not know how to live their lives with any sense of reality because they are so entranced by their social media that they cannot bother to look up people who aren't on it.

This social isolation is magnified by the fact that I have High-Functioning Autism. In school (even in college) I am pushed around by authorities and others who would want to discourage me from my goals in life. Although I manage to get by and do well scholastically, my social life is in tatters. I have very few people to speak to and most of those people are professors. There is only one student who I consider my friend who is also my colleague in Bassoon Studies. I struggle with social gatherings and even though I do well in social arenas now, I am so uncomfortable it almost feels that I would faint in an instant if not for a way to control and calm myself. I no longer feel anything... My outer personality is, but an empty shell; void of all emotion. My inner personality or little side is the person that never had a chance... the real me, but showing that side in public is undesirable for the uncontrolled strong emotions that this side of me brings, which triggers even more ridicule and abuse. So I trudge through the monotony and pain that is my life with a cynical, skeptical and bleak outlook on what is to come in a shell of my former self that is devoid of all emotion. While on the inside, my little side cries out in pain - the pain of not being loved again.....