Hey everyone, I'm new to the forum and I have not really discussed my fetish with anyone online before, but it is a relief to find a group that will know what is bothering me right now. I feel sort of strange writing this out, but I feel I would like some input on this matter. Thank you for reading.
I've been interested and wearing diapers since a very very young age(I'm now 32) and would steal baby diapers and rub in them..ect ect as a kid. I discovered adult diapers and became in Heaven and never looked back.. I enjoy trying new diapers I find online... The excitement of how it will look, feel and smell is great.
I the past few years I believe I have become way to obsessed with everything to do with diapers. It started when I dressed in an Attends for halloween wearing nothing but the Attends and a shirt. Everyone though it was funny and no one ever felt threatened or embarrassed by my public diaper wearing. I never act pervertish when doing this.. I simply say I am on a dare and people simply laugh or even want a picture.
I do this on Halloween and for Valentines day I dress as cupid simply in a white t-shirt and a thick, doubled Attends with a couple of pads for stuffers.
Again people just think I am being funny and once a girl wanted her pis taken with me.. her hand touching my diaper..Yes I was stimulated and yes I know very well it was absolutely wrong to let myself get that deep into the experience. I do feel a lot of shame, but I continue to do it.
To this day I feel the need to have something to do with diapers every day.. I wear them under sweat pants during the day making it obvious that I have a diaper on... People usually don't say anything, but on occasion someone would come up and tell me in a caring way that I am "showing"
I go to thrift stores in hopes some diapers are on the shelf so I can wait until a cute chick passes by and I will buy the diapers making sure she sees me.
I've also been purposely wetting my pants in public.. not often, but have done it about 3 times... Once in front of a cute chick holding a baby with just it's diaper on... I was holding a pack of Depends so she would know I was probably really incontinent. She simply told me that its ok and that she is not offended(I was telling her I was sorry)
Well I have become obsessed with this kind of activity and it has been a hinder in my life... Anytime I see a diaper add or anything to do with diapers my mind instantly needs to have a diaper or engage in this Lewd activity. I am afraid of getting caught by someone I know or possibly arrested... I am not proud of this activity.
I have become obsessive in my fetish and I know I have to control it a lot better. If anyone here has went through this please let me know.
I prefer not to be slammed in the face either.. I know you guys frown on people who take the diaper fetish to this extreme, but at least I am wanting to stop and get help.